Face Value

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Today I am practicing being brave enough to be exactly who I am. I offer no apologies. No excuses. This is me, World. I hope you love me anyway.

I obsess over things sometimes. Today, that is OK, for it also means I am thoughtful- I think things through, I ponder. I research. I care.

I worry too much. Today, that is just fine by me though. It also means I love emphatically, whole-heartedly. A wicked, succulent, juicy, bright blue, glittery glowing love. I make time for my friends and family and will do anything for them.

I don't leave Greyson alone with many people. It makes me nervous and uneasy. The people I've found so far aren't a good fit for him or aren't available. Today that is OK. Today it's not something I need to work on. His comfort is my soul. It's more important to me than alone time or a manicure. Some day soon I will find someone I trust and that will make it much easier and then it won't be so difficult. Yes, days are long and hard. There are no sick days in Mom-ing. Once upon a time, I chose this life, and I still choose it, today, tomorrow, forever. I will choose it again and again. His days are hard too, & he doesn't have the luxury of choice.

I am a mediocre cook. Today that doesn't bother me, for I am also a good photographer, a lovely Mom, a runner, a wife and a creative soul.

I don't have extra money to decorate my house the way I want, to buy new clothes whenever I want, to go on vacation or to hire a cleaning lady. Before, this made me ashamed. Today, it's all good! I have money for groceries, money to get my hair done every 7 weeks, money for new photos for my entryway, for toys for Greyson, for clothes for Parker. I am happy because I am challenged to think of new and creative ways to decorate, to have fun, to pass the time. I am defined by so much more than this silly little dollar sign here $.

Being Brave enough to be yourself. It's so hard, and so much easier too.

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