Grey can't get enough of these markers...
Friday night I was high on wine, laughter and good and authentic conversation with real and amazing ladies... I came home and could have written a novel on Life and Love and Friendship and what was important to me... That night it was extra clear... Not always, but sometimes- Life actually does make sense and Life is easy... I'm recognizing those moments more and more...maybe they have been there all along... I had such a good time that on Saturday I walked around like a giddy school girl with a crush... high on Happy...
It's very difficult for me to keep things inside. I can keep others secrets...but ironically can't keep my own. Like I need you to know exactly who I am from the get go - so if that's not for you- we know right away and shouldn't be pals...and if it IS for you- let's just be real and throw it all out there. Preferably on the weekend- over a bottle of F...
Some people are required to have a separate persona... Maybe due to a job...a marriage...a family or social norms... I can't imagine how much energy that would take- to stuff the real you deep inside...Or maybe you have to be surrounded by a bunch of inauthentics...That hurts just writing it... Make sure to preserve a little dash of you in there...
There is something refreshing about living in a small town where I didn't grow up. There are no expectations of who I am- versus who I was...I can go to the grocery store and look like crap because no one will say- Have you seen Chrissy Pratt? I saw her at Whole Foods yesterday... Boy has she gone to hell...
People have no thoughts about my family- my Parents--what they had or didn't have. No one here knows that when I was 17 I had a hand me down from my Grandma Roberta- a 1973 green Maverick...
Similar to this guy I found on the Internet...
That car was a hoopty... AM only radio and bucket seats with lap seat belts we could never find because they got stuck in the seat...Duct tape covering a large rust hole on the side...Driving that car made me feel so poor and embarrassed that it was painful...Money was tight growing up- But now I am
Now it is Life that gives us those Mavericks...Those things that we wish weren't so...those opportunities for growth spurts...
A marriage that didn't go as planned...a job that is no longer...a loss of self...a Friendship that isn't what you wish it could be...Cancer... Finding out you have a child with Autism or a Child with an extra chromosome... We doubt ourselves...and feel sadness and anger and guilt...and then more guilt for the sadness... Lots of growing, Friend... the People that win the happy are the ones that find their own Silver Lining... It's kind of an opportunity for greatness...High Five...
We've all got our Mavericks...Things that may initially strike us as far from ideal...things that make us afraid...Things that we fear may make others think differently about us and who we are... But courage to stand up and admit your own truth will give others the courage to do the same...
This weekend I worked to fill my boxes...
Our God box... The Catholic Churches in Central California don't have a cry room- so we only lasted 27 minutes... which counts for something- right?
I made an all bacon sandwich for my husband, Michael...Marriage box deposit- Check...
And today we went to the Shizen Japanese Garden which is good for all my boxes...It is a 5-acre wonderland contained in Woodward Park...
The beautiful Japanese Cherry Trees are in bloom now... amazing...
Totally unedited...Sky by God...
Eyes by God too...Thanks God...
Koi Pond...
Bamboo...
Good Luck with your Monday... I'll be here doing some version of the same thing as you...
Much Love, Chrissy
They do have cry rooms! Overcrowded ones.
ReplyDeletecould you send some of that spring my way? i moved from CA to PA and i'm trying to embrace it here, but i really just miss everything about CA.
ReplyDeletealso, i need to get some of those markers. brilliant!
ok, i'll go now and try to make my own happy. it's been hard, i tell ya.
susan
This one hit home! I love reading your blog..it's always inspirational. Love how you had me crying in the beginning and then laughing out loud at the bacon sandwich part! Not to mention that you have such a beautiful family! Hang in there...you're changing lives.
ReplyDelete- Kelly
I was just introduced to your blog today (facebook link) and I have spent the morning taking it all in (backwards timewise, of course). Your boys are beautiful (and your photography skills fantastic!) ...though it's your words and real clear determination to be a good mom that are the inspiration I need this morning. (thank you, Fate, for directing me to dawdle at facebook) There are so many things you have written that I really relate to: My son is beautiful too; my son loves so many of the same things as yours (drums!); I have a dog that loves life too! ; we love a park with a pond with willows and geese; BeeGees makes things easier for me too; and I've got vitiligo sprouting all over my hands and forearms from the hard last few years too.
ReplyDeleteOh, but then I see you had a hand-me- down Maverick from Grandma too!! and I know this is divine inspiration I am reading today. [Mine was a 1972 Gold (flat, really more cheddar colored) and the top was brown tweed! Interior was gold, green and brown, PLAID! As an 18 year old, I felt like it was a social birthmark so disfiguring that I was turned into a gargoyle just by driving it.] Now I look back and laugh. I miss it. I am truly glad my dad saddled me with it. And your blog, helps me remember today that there is beauty in imperfection. Life truly is richer when it isn't easy. You are a great mom and your love for your beautiful kids has helped me see things in better perspective today. I'll be hugging my little monkey very tight when I pick him up in a few hours. Thanks!