Tuesday, September 10, 2013

be still

We are often searching for words to find the key to our happy. 

I read things... articles, words, advice, comments. You should do this, you should NOT do this. The answer is Jesus, working out, kindness, Gluten Free, moving, getting a new job, Family, yesterday, a gym membership, yes no or maybe. You shouldn't care so much about such and such. You should care MORE about such and such. There are so many messages crashing towards us. So many opinions. Sometimes it's hard to remember what is true and real and important. 

Tomorrow I just want to be. Be still. Be quiet. Look for the answer inside. I think more often my happy is inside and I just need to be quiet to let it in. I don't think any of us has THE answer and I think there's a certain peace- that at least we all don't have the answers together. If you are content wading in these in between waters with me, take off your shoes and roll up your pants and let's be silent together. 

Deep breath.

And yes, the World is beautiful and amazing and kind, but it's also real and raw and harsh too. I know, Friend, oh I know. Sometimes it's harsh and it hurts. It's hard to find our internal compass when everything is loud and clicking and blinking and spinning and opinionated. It's hard to plant our feet firmly into the ground and yell to the wind, I AM NOT BUDGING. DON'T BOTHER. 

But the wind is going to blow. We can't stop the wind. Winds are caused by differences in air pressure and temperature. It's all part of the greater ebb and flow. The air has got to flow and the wind has got to blow. And sometimes, we are going to get knocked on our tuckus. 

We only have so much room and so much focus. We need to use that energy and focus to stand up and wipe the dirt off our cute butts and move on.

Maybe you come here to read words to make you happy- but congratulations you. If they make you happy, that means there was already a spark of happy in you, waiting to ignite.

And I wish it was easier to tap into that strength we all have inside. I believe once we discover what's inside us that's good-  it doesn't matter how much money we have or don't have. When you discover how irreplaceable you are, so unique and so NOT PERFECT, it doesn't matter how skinny or not skinny you are either. For a long time I weighed 20 lbs less than I do now, and I've never been emptier or sadder in my life. Sometimes it takes teetering over the edge to realize the middle is where you need to be. I'm working on happy in the middle. 

Today we had one simple hour in between therapy. With a quick lunch and drive time we had 28 minutes to soak up the daylight.

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We went to one of our favorite places on Earth. Grey simply knows it as Frawww- short for Frog Pong. It's actually called the San Joaquin River Parkway. According to their website, they are founded on the belief that a group of passionate and engaged citizens can be an effective force in creating and protecting land along the San Joaquin River. 

We love this old house with winding stair case. 

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We love to climb trees and plant our feet firmly in the ground and remember what is important in the World. 

Watching tadpoles and frogs and big L-Life come alive is our favorite.

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Doodle prefers a hands on experience.

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Although I've seen these different trees a hundred times I never asked why they were different until today. I love different the most. 

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Many years ago a Lightning storm blew the tops of these palm trees straight off. Some people may have removed them after that. I'm so glad they kept them there. 

Sometimes Life comes and knocks us on our ass. After that we may think our story is a sad one and we may think we are damaged or broken. It's not the case. I promise. Let the change rush through you. You aren't broken- you were just changed into something different. We have all experienced times in our life that are hard and makes us feel broken. What's most important is how you handle it after the broken. 

It turns out that now these trees make a great habitat for Swallows, Starlings, Barn Owls and Great Horned Owls. These birds looked at what was- not what wasn't. They focused on what they needed and adapted to their surroundings. They turned the trees into their home.

God teaches us so much through nature. Sometimes we just have to be still to realize the message that's been there all along.


  1. Kelly, I really like reading what you write. I like your perspective and love that you share it. I am filled from reading all of it. I especially feel connected to these:
    "I don't think any of us has THE answer and I think there's a certain peace- that at least we all don't have the answers together. "
    "They focused on what they needed and adapted to their surroundings.
    God teaches us so much through nature."

  2. My engagement photos were taken there! Beautiful place! Beautiful post!