I love chatting with you. I don't have a lot of words in my head or even a topic, but it's been too long, and if I go too too long- I get blocked. Like constipation but with words. We're all grown ups here- we can admit we poop- right? Or is that something grown ups aren't supposed to talk about? I forget the rules. And when I remember them, I'm constantly breaking them anyway. Oh well, at least that way I am guaranteed to amuse or offend you.
I've got pajamas on, and I am happy. I guess content would be a better word. Life is easy, status quo. (Please life- don't jinx me for saying that. I'm enjoying this coast).
Some scenes from everyday life.
Chocolates from my dad. My first Valentine. For the past 35 or so years, he has bought me, my two sisters Lisa and Katie, and my mom each our own box of chocolates from Merbs in St. Louis. Now he sends mine from Missouri to California. He's a pretty amazing guy.
How we roll at Target. Canadian friends- I heard you don't have Target. My condolences.
It's been so rainy here lately. And I must admit, I love it immensely. I love it because of how the air feels- crisp and clean and full of possibility. I love the smell of wet grass and pavement. I love the sound of rain on rooftop- both my home and car. I love the rain because it is a full sensory experience. And I love it because we need it here in the Central Valley of California. In Fresno County we grow over 350 crops, many of them grown nowhere else in the nation, at least not commercially. 99 percent of the raisins in the nation come from Fresno County. We are also know for our nuts, peaches, plums, nectarines, apricots, citrus and figs.
So often learning sounds so much like pain, that we fail to recognize anything but the pain.
When Parker is reading new words that he's learned, and sitting nicely in his chair and paying attention. That's not learning. That illustrates what he HAS LEARNED. It's when the seeds bloom. It feels good and productive.
The real stuff is the in between. When he doesn't know the words or activity or lesson. When he doesn't want to sit. When he is frustrated and throws things and clears a table with one swoop of his arm... But then he settles and does it anyway. Imperfectly.
THAT IS LEARNING. Sometimes when I hear him screaming or yelling out of frustration during therapy- I think- "that sounds just like learning."
The same holds true for us. When we are happy and it's easy and everything is working- that is the blessed part of our life called cruise control. The unfortunate truth is, many of us miss those seconds or minutes as the pass through. And the easy times always pass.
But when we are frustrated and nothing makes sense and we are so damn uncomfortable, that's when we learn, and that's when life changes shape. The more important the lesson, oftentimes the more uncomfortable. Sometimes you must ask the pain, "what are you here to teach me?" And then open yourself to the answer.
And remember, sometimes pain is just a stop on the way to change.
It's definitely one of those things that's easy to remember when life is good and impossible to remember remember when life is hard.