Monday, March 29, 2021

connect the dots

 Today was ordinary and average in the most magical of ways. Hope wasn't out of arms reach, and the daily mundane had a sugar coated glow. I feel like it's the beginning of something new. A new world. a new time, a new day. There will always be struggle, but hopefully nothing that compares to what the last year of house arrest has felt like. 

God will use the very thing that's meant to destroy you to deliver you. 1 Samuel 17:1

You are a warrior. (So am I.) We've woken up every day and breathed in and out all day long. We got shit done. Felt so many feelings. And as a parent of little(ish) ones, we are responsible for their feelings too. Sometimes it's too much to carry. You feel your familiar frenamies- guilt and anxiety and exhaustion walk beside you and feel like a failure. 

But you aren't. You are a freaking Warrior. Don't you forget it for one second. Say it with me- (First, deep breath, jaw unclenched, shoulders down, eyes relaxed, genuine smile on your face)- I AM A WARRIOR.

I stumbled on some old words of mine. We will call them vintage, because vintage always sounds cooler than old. I want to share them with you...

This is life. A big old connect the dots. We are always in the middle of connecting all these little speckles, leaping to the next one like a frog on a lily pad. That is a beautiful, good thing. It means we are alive. It means we are trying. Frequently there are many things that happen to us in life that don't make any sense. We don't know where the heck we are headed to next, and we are desperately and urgently trying to see, to know, to control the whole big picture. We want to see the image before the dots are connected. The image will be revealed to you completely, but not a second before it's supposed to. Don't think about the final picture, just look for the next number and make your move. Maybe it's time we felt curious and giddy about our own future, instead of anxious and uncertain. 

Tonight we went to the school park down the street from our house for the first time in over a year. 

I forgot about the past year, and I forgot about thinking about tomorrow and forever. I just marinated in the right now, and it's a recipe I highly, highly recommend. It's extra good if you can add some, almost feels like Summer sunshine to the mix. 

The boys were so happy, and their happy also turned into mine. This is life. And for today, that felt ok.

So much love,


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