Friday, July 16, 2021

no more waiting

It was such a privileged conversation, that I hesitated to share this with you. But there are lessons and heart ache and honesty and wake up calls that we all need to hear embedded inside, so I will share these words with you, knowing that you will hold them with the same tender care that I do.

This morning I was at a Physical Therapy appointment, working on my wonky shoulders, while I await results from an MRI on my neck and right shoulder. I pedaled the dumb arm bike. I seriously am growing to hate this thing- it's irritating my already irritated rotator cuffs. 

"I'll be working with you today, is there anything special you want us to work on?" a therapist asked the silver haired beauty slowly pedaling a stationary bike next to me. She was a strong woman, tall and sturdy, but there was such sadness in her eyes. They discussed treatment for a moment. 

After a beat, the older woman said,"Honestly, I don't know why I'm still here." And the gravity of the sentence hung in the air for just a small eternity. There was no doubting that she didn't mean here at Physical Therapy, she meant life.

"My husband died in 2012, and I'm alone. Most of my friends have passed away. I used to be active in my church, and have lots of things going on- but I don't anymore. My daughter calls me, and that's nice. But my son...I don't hear from him much. He's so busy with work. I used to have so many things, but now I have nothing." 

My eyes were filled with tears, so I kept my head down in the hopes no one would see them spilling out.

What a potent message... For you and for me. The time to be alive is now. Right now, my friend, in the smack dab middle of chaos and all the inconvenient in-betweens. We spend 95% of our life waiting for the 5%. Think about it, really think... Waiting for our vacation, waiting until we lose weight, waiting until we get a new job, waiting until we fall in love, waiting until we sell the house, waiting until Summer starts... So much waiting for life to pass quickly by, so we can reach that 5%. 

And one day, the roller coaster ride stops with one loud final screech of the brakes. We finally have all the time in the world to exit the ride and stretch our legs. But we may find that what we really want, what we really really want, is to go back. Because now, when the calendar is clear, and all the ducks finally line up (with no where to go), we realize that the 95% is where real, beautiful, messy, hard, complicated, oh-so-precious life is truly at. And the good news is, we don't have to wait for the 95%. Chances are, you are in it right now.

Scenes from an impromptu, chaotic, so much fun arcade trip with the boys.

So I'll be over here- not waiting for results of my MRI, or waiting until my shoulders get better. I'll just be here living, right now, with gratitude that I have the chance to live at all. 

Go hug your people, go call your people, go live your life. It's waiting, but it won't be waiting forever. 

So Much Love,


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