Your Brain is a Liar

There are some things in life where it doesn’t matter what you think. It matters what is true. You swear you weren’t speeding but a cop and his odometer say otherwise. You say you don't have a drinking problem, but you drink daily and it's ruining your life. Facts don’t override feelings. Facts don't override hopes or dreams or hypotheticals or even your own denial. 

But there are many other things in life, where truth doesn’t matter one bit- what matters is what you believe to be truth. This can be eye opening or frightening (or both) to realize. It can cause communication breakdowns, imposter syndrome, low self-worth, the dissolution of relationships and more. We can get our feelings hurt or feel not good enough- not because of fact but because of feeling. This can sound like so many things: I hate my life, I'm a bad mom, this will never work, no one likes me, I can't do it... Spoiler alert: your brain is a liar. It means well, but in its effort to preserve itself, it sometimes has trouble reading the room.

The stories we tell ourselves matter even more than the truth sometimes, and since we have limited access to the truth, and 24/7 access to self talk, we have to be careful.

Today was Parker and Greyson's first day back to school after the longest Spring Break in the history of the world according to a true fact I just made up. They were off from March14th-25th. That doesn't look like very long- a date with a dash and another date in the same month right after it. But when I tell you they were off the 14th,15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th and 25th- it sounds longer- right?! 

As the week leading up to the break approached, my messages and social media filled with chatter about friends' vacation plans. Where are you going on Spring Break? was the question, and the answers seemed limitless. Florida, Cancun, Costa Rica, Texas, Paris. Groups of teenagers, often accompanied by their parents, were gearing up for grand unforgettable excursions.

There are moments when I feel entirely other. The ache of being different, paired with the loneliness that follows, wraps itself in guilt, shame, and sadness. And then, there’s the added frustration with myself for feeling so much all at once.

I had to stop and ask myself- Do you want to go on spring break trip with your kids and their imaginary friend groups and their parents (some of which you don’t know)?

The answer is truly- No. So I recalibrate and remind that voice inside to make sure what I'm mourning is something I actually want.

In, Braving the Wilderness,  Brené Brown says, “Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission. Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

And just like that, I make her words truth.

Our Spring Break wasn’t spent on a tropical beach or in a luxury resort. Instead, we stayed put, but it felt like we went everywhere at once. We had a blast exploring St. Louis, rediscovering old favorites, and finding new spots to enjoy.

St. Patrick's Day

We mini-golfed on the windiest day, each shot a challenge as gusts of air sent our ball flying

We tangoed into the heart of Argentina culture at The Magic House

MADE for Kids is a 7,000 sq ft makerspace that features a makers workshop, artist studio, design lab and entrepreneurs marketplace where kids can use their imaginations to create, invent, tinker, explore and discover!

While we were at Made, Greyson wasn’t too keen on exploring the activities. After about an hour, he started asking to go home. This is pretty typical for him—life with Grey is all about balancing exploration and pushing him outside his comfort zone, while also honoring his need for the safe, familiar cocoon of home. "Let's do two more activities, then we can go," I told him after a few hours. “All done work,” he replied. I laughed, and started to say, "This isn’t work", but if he thinks it is- then that's his truth. "Ok, two more, than all done work," I told him.

On our last day of break, we hopped on the MetroLink with friends and made our way to a lively part of St. Louis, close to Forest Park. There, we strolled through Wash U, renowned for its breathtaking architecture, impressive research programs, and rigorous academics.

Last night I went to an intense Barre class- the workout combines elements of ballet, Pilates, and yoga, using a ballet barre for support. This particular class involved  multiple tube things and stretchy straps that helped you work your muscles through resistance. It was tougher than I expected and sweat trickled down my face as I pushed through. 

You move to the beat of the music, and sometimes the movements are purposefully slow. 1…2…3…4…. You bend and twist, slowly pushing your muscles to its limits. Your natural inclination is to go fast, because it’s hard and it hurts. You want to rush through the count using momentum instead of muscles, especially in the harder full body movements like lunges or squats. But the goal of attending a class isn't just to power through it—it’s about challenging your muscles and pushing yourself to grow. Rushing through the tough parts may seem like a shortcut, but it actually hinders the progress. It's those moments of discomfort that foster strength and transformation, both physically and mentally. It’s all about embracing the struggle and using it as a tool for change.

When class ended, my mind felt clear, and my body buzzed with energy. In that moment, I realized how perfectly the intensity of exercise mirrors the challenges we face in life. We're not here just to survive; we're here to grow and evolve through the tough times. And growth, whether physical or emotional, always requires some discomfort. The pain is part of the process—it’s what pushes us beyond our limits and transforms us into something stronger.

We can rush through, or we can lean into the pain. I chose growth, knowing that pain is part of the story. What you chose is up to you. What will be your truth?