Friday, February 26, 2010

Goodbyes are tough

I was reminded of this sweet fact when you had your last day today at Beach Babies. I was surprised at just how sad I felt about it-- this was the dreaded "Day Care"- the place that I thought I would die of sadness by sending you here when I went back to work in October. But here it is, just 4 1/2 months later, and I have to swallow away the lump of tears in my throat as I go to pick you up.
My emotions are overwhelming. I remember back to our first days here. For the first few weeks I would go with you. Me, adult- sized
mom, sitting on the floor of the daycare surrounded by bushels of babies and loads of teeny tiny stuff. The teachers would ask, "Who needs their diaper
changed?" and I would joke, "I'm good right now. Thanks." I was a little embarrassed that I wasn't ready to leave you alone and I fully admitted that I knew you would transition just fine- It was me that I was worried about. They joked that I should wear their uniform T-shirt because I was there so much. Even after you started I would stop by whenever I could. The first few weeks I would go at lunch every day, just to be with you. I wanted to really know all the women that worked there. I needed them to know me too. I needed the place to feel like home to me. I needed them to see just how much I love you, for them to see how close you and I are, how precious you are to me- because I thought if they saw all of this- then they would take extra special loving care of the most important little boy in the world of mine.
Beach Babies made me feel like an honest to goodness card carrying parent at your Halloween Show and Christmas Pageant. I can't explain the excitement I felt, sitting in the audience, waiting for my boy to take the stage!
christmas pageant 2009
I think the thing that did me in on your last day, the thing that just jumped inside my heart and said, "Come on out tears", was the Goodbye card they made you. It made me realize that you are officially your own little person now. You are so special
that lots of people miss you when you aren't around, not just family members. It reinforced what I already knew- you possess these tangible and intangible things that all together make you Greyson, and gives you your Greyson-ness and I was just so overwhelmed with pride and love and emotion I almost burst.
So although this is a sad goodbye, we've got so many new and exciting hello's right around the corner.

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