I believe in fairy tales. I believe that strewn throughout the words, “Happily Every after.” Are other words like …uncertainty…failure…heartache… loss… fear… pain… strength… authenticity…survival… Like me, the guy who came up with Happily Ever After doesn't like to focus on the negative either. They are just assumed. Fairy tales aren’t perfection. They speak of lost shoes, midnight curfews, evil step sisters, uncomfortable mattresses, grandma-eating wolves, possessed mirrors, poisoned apples, lions and tigers and even bears.
I think we can tolerate the in between... the uncertainty, the fear and the self-doubt…as long as we can have hope in our own Happily Ever After. We suck it up, we move forward and we take the bad with grace when it comes. We accept the hard...We welcome the challenge... We just need a little happy thrown in during the in-between. I am living my Happily Ever After right now. It's far from perfect, but it's more happy than not.
This weekend I did a photo shoot in Downtown Fresno. I felt like I stepped into a Back to the Future movie set.
Something simple like a red brick backdrop is beautiful to me.
And if I were a garage, I would ask my owners would paint me this color.
I think it's important to love where you live. To look at it with the eyes of tourist. To explore.
Today was good. Both boys got some new kicks.
They were Parker's first. (sigh) And like his socks, only one could stay on at a time.
And as I was taking this picture, Parker also had his first cigarette, thanks to the pile of butts a few stairs up. I screamed, "PARKER! NO!!!" But it was already in his mouth.
He's getting more and more independent... He likes to play with Greyson's toys.
His thinking face...
I think this was his way of telling me it was dinner time...which it was, which must also mean he can tell time...brilliant.
Sometimes The Real Housewives of something or other is exactly where my brain needs to go at night. Mindless. It is a delicious glazed donut. Absolutely no nutritional value, but something needed just the same from time to time. That is where I go to check out. I also love to read. Books take my my mind on the vacations my body might not be going on. Books help refuel the self.
I look for inspiration from people with strength. I like people who gather their strength from within, almost as if their Endocrine System is making it. No one can touch it, steal from it, poison it or remove it. It is an endless supply from within.
Bruce Lee, the most influential martial artist of the 20th century said that the key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.
I was flipping through the channels over the weekend, and I came across “I am Bruce Lee” and something compelled me to stop. He had the elegance and grace of Audrey Hepburn… the deep philosophical mind of Thoreau. Passion. Determination. I am drawn to it. I breath it in and refuse to exhale. He had a toughness in his soul and a softness in his way. He seemed to have found his harmony of self. He says beautiful things that I needed to hear, like, “To learn to swim, you can’t learn on land.” He believed in the process of continuing growth. He didn’t believe in one particular style. One Law. He wanted everyone to personalize each experience and make it their own- human expression. If you just try to memorize or learn moves you will never be successful, you have to make them your own and live them.
"Be formless... shapeless, like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You pour water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put water into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or creep or drip or crash! Be water, my friend.." Bruce Lee.
Thoughts rummaging free in my mind this weekend.
If I were a candy bar, today I would be a Rolo. Lacking complexity. 2 components working in harmony. Simple. Good. I think tomorrow I will be a Kit Kat.
Pigs only have one tail, so why are “pigtails” two?
And lastly, I’ve decided that Facebook and I need to have a little break.
Facebook, it's not you...it's me.
Looking at it doesn’t make me feel good. There were days that I checked it eleventy hundred times. Why? I don’t know…bored. Looking for a connection to the outside World...instead it has made me feel more empty...less connected. “Look what you aren’t doing” it taunts at me. Or I find myself looking through pictures of your cousin’s friends wedding that you commented on -although I know no one in the pictures--as opposed to doing something real…or productive… or fulfilling… I'm taking that time back. I see things that are none of my business that I wouldn’t even know if Facebook didn’t exist. I’m going back to the time when I knew what was going on in your life because you told me- if you choose to do so. Not because I saw it on Facebook.
Like Bruce Lee, I don’t believe there is one way for anything. I must take and draw out the beauty from different places in a way customized just for me. At least for now, Facebook will not be part of that equation. I have a compulsive and addictive personality….Facebook made that behavior bubble up- hoping to fill a void that Facebook can not fill. I took it off my phone and I haven’t checked since Sunday morning. I’ll check every few days, maybe once a week. For now, I don't know. It will be hard for me to not put the new post as my status update. I hope I don't go through withdrawals! (yes, I'm joking...kind of...)
It took me a day or two…but I remember now- the point of sharing the blog was never to see how many likes I got. Sometimes I am so silly! It was to make life better for my son- so more people could understand about Autism. It was also in the hopes to help a new Momma or Poppa navigating their way in Spectrumville. And as an added bonus- I like to write, so I get to play around with a passion. It is fun for me....watching words flow into sentences....that makes me feel good...being able to hit delete when I am not feeling the right connection...adjectives... beautiful as flowers yet they never die. And I am SO GRATEFUL for Social outlets like Facebook that have allowed this message about accepting different to spread. I am grateful to you my friend that have helped me share this message. Please keep sharing it! And if you share it on your Facebook page, I feel bad that I won't see and be able to thank you, but know that I am still THANKFUL!!
I want to say a special "thank you" to Teacher Amy for working on Memorial Day today even though it is a Holiday....because Speech Delays don't take Holidays.
And a special Thank you to my awesome boy who works so stinking hard. Here we are on our way to speech.
I was so happy I got to sit and watch Grey at speech. Michael stayed home with Parker. Lately it's been too tough to keep Parker quiet and content while Grey is doing speech with Amy, so for the past couple of months, I have regretfully just been dropping him off. But today I got to stay.
He hid animals in play-doh...
If I were an animal, today I would hope to be this cute little pig.
And read books. I'm so glad that "work" is also "play" for Greyson.
I would still love to hear from you. If you have anything to say, please leave me a comment here- or send me an email. Kellyc43@gmail.com
"Be water, My Friend."