Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Setting the bar low

I'm certainly my own worst fault finder. I hate making mistakes. I get so mad at myself for being so not perfect. Not often, but sometimes, I write a post and when I hit Publish I actually feel really good about the words I left behind. I'm even proud of them. Amazed that somehow my fingers and my brain and my thoughts and the letters on the keyboard were all working together in unison for the same cause and somehow put out some words that made us feel.

And then the next day, I think...Man, I don't have the chutzpah to top yesterday's post. I don't even want to write because I know it will totally suck in comparison. (New drinking game- Every time I use, "totally" you can have a drink...It's 6:54am as you are reading this? That's OK silly! I won't tell anyone. I am totally too busy judging myself to judge you. Have a Mimosa with your bagel.)
Ironically- oftentimes my favorite posts are not always yours-- based on the feedback I get on Facebook at least. They are not the ones that get me the most likes on Facebook. How ridiculous is that? A 38-year-old woman actually cares about how many likes she gets on her blog updates. Seriously. I will look and think....hmmmm...such and such post got 10 likes and 2 comments...but this one only got 6 likes and 1 comment...Sometimes my inner 3rd grader feelings of "Please like me" still shine brightly. I also blame it on the fact that I am stuck inside during ABA hours of 8:30-5 and my brain has to make up games to keep itself entertained. That's part of the reason I LOVE hearing from you. You are often my connection to the outside World, and like you, I am motivated by words!

Anyway, back to this very post right now. This one is going to suck  not be very good. I usually have a plan in my head before I start...a theme or an idea that got knocked loose on my run. There ain't a thing in there tonight. Well, maybe some crickets. Single Mom'ing has sucked my brain clear of coherent thought. It's nice and clean up there. I am not sad or mad or feeling overwhelmed, I just am a chocolate craving blob on the couch.

The good part of this terrible post? I know that it won't be very hard to top, and then I won't sort of dread writing the next one. Silver lining- right? Totally.

First of all...I forgot 3 very important lessons on the Life's little lessons posts I wrote last week.

  • If you are over the age of 28 and own a magnification mirror, throw it away. Don't ask me any questions, just do it. Don't ever look at your skin in a magnification mirror, especially not while you are in the car in the direct sunlight. It is frightening. Don't pluck your eyebrows in a magnification mirror either- you won't be left with any eyebrows because each hair looks like a frightening tree trunk and you will be compelled to remove it- whether you should or not.
  • Don't ever pick at your face unless it is guaranteed you will not see any humans for at least 24 hours. Don't say gross- you know you've done it. You are getting ready to go out and that little bump is just so annoying and you want it to go away...and the next thing you know, you have a bleeding marble sized welt and you have to make up a story on how you got it. 
  • Don't buy a big bag of dry roasted salty delicious pistachio nuts for Greyson when you are PMS'ing and eat almost the whole bag like a fat cow. (that one probably just applies to me).
People are nice. Promise me you will look for signs of that today? If you look, you will see them everywhere. Like this... we live 3 miles from a place called Woodward Park and someone came all the way to our neck of the woods to hang this sign. 
Clearly they are a Dog Lover because they helped the stray dog in the first place, and clearly they are people lovers because they put out a lot of signs and did a lot of leg work...they must know first hand what the unconditional love of a dog feels like. Dogs live in the moment- they don't care about the future or the past....they don't hold a grudge against you if you yell at them or forget to walk them for days. I would love it if this picture helps a Momma and Poppa find their dog.

Here's more good. One of Greyson's Teachers made him these food-coloring water bottles because they have some at his preschool and he loves them. Extra bonus? We use them for counting and reinforcing colors. (You should hear him say Wuh-woah- which is obviously "yellow". Duh.)

Thank you Teacher Holly!

Today was productive. I feel good. I used to love giving presentations when I was in Pharmaceutical Sales. I would spend three times more energy than was needed researching and putting the presentation together because I'm just that kind of girl. The more research I did, the more I knew about the subject- the less nervous I was to get up in front of a crowd. Information and preparation is always the best defense. Today I remembered that as CEO of Greyson Kelly's Development I needed to do my homework to feel ready for our meeting. You can tell by my Title, I'm totally a big wig. You'd be surprised how down to Earth I am for being so powerful. And so I handled Grey's IEP like it was part of my job.  I did research to see what kind of milestones Typical 3-4 year olds will accomplish so he can have skills similar to his Typical peers.
I know that sometimes it feels like we have big hills to climb as Moms....and Mom's of kids with Super Powers like Grey. Big hills also mean more coast time once you get to the top...

Today I scoured the Hawaii Early Learning Profile, or HELP- a checklist containing 685 skills and behaviors in relation to all areas of development. It's up to me to know the specifics of Greyson's Development because I am the one who spends the most time with him. I don't expect his Teacher that sees him once a week to know if he knows the difference between a long straw or a short one- or other things like that. That's my job and I do it proudly.

HELP is good for determining the "next steps" for a student's learning course. I hand picked each and every milestone Greyson has yet to accomplish and wrote it up all nice and shiny. It also reminded me just how far Greyson has come in the past almost year. I even added a couple of goals that I thought of on my own. Like: 

SOCIAL: Independently greets parents when being picked up from school. For example, says, "Hi Mom" and gives her a hug in 8 out of 10 attempts. (Don't ask me what the whole 8/10 attempts thing is about. That part is school lingo and I need to speak their language!)
Sometimes it makes me sad, but for the most part I am used to it--Greyson more often that not -does not acknowledge me or notice when I enter a room.  He does not run to me and wrap his little arms around my waist and yell out, "Mommy!!" Now I usually have to go to him and take away whatever it is that is distracting him and say, "Greyson. Can you look at me. It's Mommy. Can you say hi to me?" 
But guess what.... one day I know he will do that all on his own because we will teach him. And one day I might even take it for granted because I am so used to it. I can't wait to take it for granted- you know what I mean?

He is so worth it. I just have to remember to keep my eye on...

OK, It's 11 pm and I need to get going. I've got some pistachios to eat. I might as well finish the bag. 


  1. I love your blog posts! I feel exactly the same about my likes on Facebook and if I get few to none, I think I must be a total failure!

    I wish every child had a mama that invested so much into them!

  2. Hope the pistachios were yummy! I haven't even been bothering to post on my blog lately...I am putting too much pressure on myself to write something good.

  3. Chrissy,

    I could read your prose all day. I absolutely love how you put your thoughts into words, creating meaning for your readers. It's much too early and I'm on my first cup of coffee but I just wanted to tell you that I totally love today's post. Totally. ~nancy

    p.s. Perfect music as well! I think I will get through this day.