Thursday, July 12, 2012

Positively Happy

Today's Happy...that's all we need to look for...
Not the rest of your life happy...heck no- that's too much to tackle at once.
Just today's happy.

Today I found my happy. Did you find yours?


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And some Parker sized happy

Grey found his at Where the Garden Grows Preschool...
They played under the sea.... They had a real octupus, lobster and shrimp there!!!

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They even made some lobsters too.

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______________________________
I've mentioned it briefly before...
It's funny...the stuff that some people wanted to make sure I knew when I entered the World of Special Needs... It's such a fricking scary snapshot of time in your life...and I craved positive or hope in a way that would have sustained me more than oxygen... But I heard the same sentences time and time again... Sometimes from Spectrum Parents, some from industry professionals, and some from other random folks.

I heard...
That having a Special Needs child is a struggle on your marriage...
And very difficult on siblings... I was told that Parker would probably feel overshadowed with all the attention Greyson would be getting- you know- if he isn't autistic- which he might be because siblings have a much higher rate of Autism...
And that I would be the only one that would advocate for my child. 
I was told that people with Typical children wouldn't understand and take their easy children for granted.

Maybe some of that can be true-some of the times...but if I'm standing at the Pearly Gates..welcoming new parents in to Spectrumville- instead of punching them in the face...I'm gonna give 'em a hug. 

I'm gonna tell them that life is what you make it. I'm gonna tell them- their other children are going to love and protect their sibling like no other love you've ever witnessed in the World...

I'm gonna tell them that yes, milestones come along less frequently- but when they do- it feels like magic and unicorns and Christmas and Holy Cow and York Peppermint patties and your first kiss and true love and finding a $20 bill on the ground and loosing 5 lbs without even trying...Yeah- it's that good. 

I'm gonna tell them that life is 14 parts attitude and 1 part circumstance...and those are pretty darn good odds my Friend.




The same thing happens when you are expecting a child. Everyone repeats the same messages over and over again...
You better sleep now...
Kids are so expensive...
Mothering is a thankless job...
Enjoy your alone time now- because it won't last forever.

Now, if you have a child- you know much of that IS true, but don't worry- the other billions of people in the World can tell and retell those messages...and if they don't- it only takes about 5 minutes of being a parent to realize it on your own.


I say each and every one of us reading these words- glue back together the broken record..talk about something new, exciting...stop warning people and talk about the good stuff...

Like trying to explain that feeling you get the first time you hold them in your arms...
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Me and Grey...Couldn't...stop...staring...

...Or hear their very first cry...

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Parker...April 15th, 2011

Tell them when they do their little baby stretches- you think you may die from love.

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Greyson's First week home.



Tell them you could watch their sleeping face for days...and cover their tissue thin eyelids with kisses.

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Parker Doodle. Day One on Earth.


Their smell, oh golly gee the smell... Of heaven and milk, baby powder and vanilla, home and content.

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Parker

Tell them- sometimes you will look at these little beings and think- how did I make something so perfect?
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Let them know that having a child helps you see your spouse in a completely different way...

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Greyson and Dad


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Parker and Dad

Tell them you will barely remember a time your babies weren't in your life...

And how shocked you were when it all came together so brilliantly...and that everything you had worried about when you were pregnant....poof...vanished.

Photobucket Greyson, Me and Jack taking a nap...

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Parker's First Day Home.


Tell them when their baby gets sick- you can practically hear your own heart ache...and you would gladly be twice as sick- to make it better for them...And if anything out of your control happens...and you can't make it all better- you will bare your soul to the World and beg them to accept Different- in the hopes that you can make your babies life just a tiny bit brighter.

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Tell them they will get a taste of what real pure unbridled joy feels like...And that when they are happy...life is good in a way better than ever before.


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I say we all do a soft reset and focus on the good.




Thanks for reading, stopping by and even for leaving me a comment if you so desire. I love hearing from you- makes me feel like I'm not talking to myself. Have a great weekend.


Much Love,
Chrissy

10 comments:

  1. There are no words to describe how amazing this post is... I found my happy but I forgot to focus on it and allow it to expand. I will make sure to do so today. And the words about how your babies can make you see your spouse in a totally new light.... Watching Patrick be a dad is one of the best gifts I have ever been given.

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  2. I love all your posts but I especially loved this one. Reminded me how glad I am that despite some reservations I had, I decided to be a mom. Most amazing and rewarding decision I've ever made. You summed up exactly how I feel about it and boy do my little ones make me happy. Every day. And in ways I never imagined. And who now, I honestly don't remember what those reservations were :).

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  3. Thanks for the reminder to concentrate on the happy.
    Thanks,
    P.S. Love your blog!

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  4. OH Boy Chrissy you got the happy tears going with this one. Have a happy Friday. I'm finding happy here today. Hugs

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  5. Chrissy this message is from my husband Scott:
    My wife, sent your blog on to me today and I was taken by the honesty, passion and insights in your writings. I can tell that you are writing from your heart and not from your intellect. Even the best writers have a hard time conveying feelings the way that you have in your postings. Those that are really good become political speech writers, I am sure. Enough on that.

    I like that you are just talking about life and living in a way that demonstrates our choices – Timshell. Read Steinbech’s “East of Eden” for a good understanding of that word. While you don’t mention “God” (there are so many of them and any one of them is not “THE” God) you have a sense of Zen and living in the moment without messing it up with a thought of “Am I happy?”. It is what it is and it is what we make it. Love is spiritual in the purest sense and you are blessed to have that in your “Life With Greyson” and his brother and father and …..

    Thank you for the “touch”.

    JST

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  6. Love this and I couldn't agree more. Life is all about attitude. I'm always amazed by people's negativity. I always hear, "don't you want a girl??", "how do you handle all those kids??", "kids are so expensive.", "did you plan them that close?!" Sure we all have hard days but if we go into each day with a positive outlook and see how blessed we truely are, life will be much sweeter.

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  7. I loved this post! Thank you! I found my happy today!

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  8. Searching a gluten free site for my daughter, I found your post..so happy I did..I have a special child also was having a down day, and you helped me to find my happy..I am in a much better place thanks to you! Your photo's are amazing of your beautiful family!

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  9. Chrissy, I absolutely LOVE this post. I remember being pregnant with my first child and all of those comments you mentioned above....the negativity! Ever since then (9 years ago) I have made sure to only comment on the positive, wonderful and amazing things pregnant women are about to discover. Thank you for reaching so many people with this message:) Happy tears.

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  10. OH MY!!!!! This is absolutely incredible!!!!! I know I am behind...trying to keep up with the new and catch up on some old ones but I just cannot delete your posts without reading them, even if they are months old. This was so moving and beautiful and TRUE!

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