Thursday, October 18, 2012

I love you

Today there are no pictures, because I want you to focus only on the words...they are important.

Do you know that voice you hear in your head? When you talk to you?

No- not Don't forget to buy more coconut milk and pay the DirecTV bill... The other stuff.

You know exactly what I am talking about.

Every sentence you think either moves you forward or it holds you back.

Pay attention to what you say to you...that's it...just be aware...

This here blog writing helps me. It helps me organize my thoughts and my life... it makes obvious things I had hidden... It helps me remember what I love most...and where to put that love...It helps me pay attention to what is getting love that doesn't deserve any at all. Envy...fear...guilt...anger...obsessive or unhealthy thoughts? If you are fueling these thoughts you are giving them your love...your mind...your heart... They don't deserve it. Save that Love for the good stuff. I'm a work in progress- working to put the love in the right place.

My writing is therapy. I don't mean it's therapeutic ...I mean- it actually like therapy...Sometimes I dread going there- but I'm always glad I went... Which is great because I need therapy and I don't know of any therapist that works at 9pm- and let's me sit on my couch in my pajamas... Here I can rationalize my irrational I understand Autism better and its role in my Life...Here I let go of the stress of the day and vent so that in the morning my slate is clean, and I awake a better Mother and Wife and Person and Friend...

I hope you come here to feel a little less crazy...a little less alone...a little more understood...a little more connected to the big little World we live in... I think about you...I hope you feel like you found your people in these words... We are all the same...each unique and completely different and absolutely the same. Just trying to figure out the right place to put the love.

I am evolving to be more transparent...I feel it calling me. I dipped my toe in the water and instead of pain I found the chilly water invigorating...and so slowly I am figuring out how to peel back more. How to be Authentic as possible.

Thanks for letting me be me and being OK with it...Even celebrating it. I promise to show up and to tell the truth... Sometimes that's all we can promise... Such simple concepts that are sometimes painful to birth.

Please- give that same acceptance you share with me to the person you see in the mirror. Love their flaws and their honesty. Write your truths down in a journal or a blog. You don't have to share them with anyone...But if you are like me- you need to live a life with meaning and purpose...and if you record your thoughts, hopes, dreams and wishes- you may realize you already are...If you are going through a hard time you can help make sense of it later...Or it can help you figure out how to be the you- you are certainly meant to be.

You are freaking fantastic. Your colors are brilliant to my eyes. You don't hear it enough. Those of you that have reached out with comments big or small- and you- the friend that quietly reads in communion with others-just nodding your head up and down- thinking- yes...yes...yes... And just getting it and this crazy wild ride called Life...

You should be celebrated.

Friend- do me a SOLID...if you haven't already, from your computer go to the right hand side of this blog and click on the blue bar that says Join this Site. I need more Friends willing to help me change the world. Plus- it makes my inner insecure teenager self feel so darn good...

Much Love,


  1. I am right here with you. Love this post.

  2. I definitely come here to often echo thoughts I can't seem to put into words....we are not alone, thank you!