Now that the husband travels for work every single week my sanity has become an endangered species. The past two days it's practically altogether extinct.
It tends to get a little quiet here at night...
Greyson- what did you do today? I ask him...Finally the third time he says, Day...
Repeating the last word he heard- thinking that's what I wanted to hear.
Which now that I think about it --is actually a very husbandy like thing to do...yes- I recall many conversations back in the day before kids-
Me: You weren't even listening to me...
Husband: Yes I was.
Me: OK- what was the last thing I said.
Husband: repeating the last word I said- despite the fact he has no idea of the conversational context.
Back to this evening... Greyson- what did you do today? Greyson, say Library. Greyson, say Library.
Finally 16 requests later, I give up and instead try to think on the silver lining side of the silence... Just to keep myself entertained...
He never interrupts my favorite show to tell me something
He never rats me out to Michael for letting him stay up late
He never repeats the terrible things he has heard on the Reality TV shows I watch
He never asks why I have weird extra wrinkly skin on my stomach that looks like a old grandpa's face when I bend over. (not you Dad- you look fabulous. Just a random Grandpa.)
He has never made me uncomfortable by asking me where babies come from
He did not ask why he had to eat a real dinner tonight while I got to eat potato chips with Dean's French Onion dip at the kitchen counter
He's never lied to me and probably never will
Greyson's virus passed as quickly as it arrived...but he stayed home from school today to catch up on some brain rest. We went to one of my favorite childhood places...The Library... All libraries are so different- yet so much the same. I walk in and instantly feel comfort. Comforted by the hum of fluorescent lights and the smell of paper. The sound of Silence peppered by exited whispers. No matter where I have moved to- I've always made a home for myself at the local Library. Even pre-kiddos.
I want to share that joy with my children- so to the Library we went.
It's funny- The beautiful day dreamy visions of being in the Library as a Mom with my kids is so much simpler and easier than it was in reality. It's funny how that often happens.
Hmmm...which one should I pick (to throw on the ground).
So this is how I pictured it.... Me- in cute winter boots...hell- maybe even showered-yes- showered...with a shirt with no stains on the front...sitting on the Library couch- one kiddo tucked under each arm... Reading them my childhood favorites while they hung on to every word...laughing with each change of my voice per character --as perfected from years of babysitting...
Here's what really happened...me...in the same yoga pants I've been wearing for days...me- unshowered since...hmm....I can't remember when- and I'm going to stop trying to remember in case it's been offensively long. One child this way- the other one- that way- pulling books out from the shelves faster than I can replace them...
I looked for my childhood favorites for 38 seconds before I realized that was dangerous- if I planned to go home with both boys. So then I just started to read any old books for them...which lasted about 2 pages and 3 seconds before someone was crying and someone was running for the exit.
Why yes I am
Turns out both boys had much more fun outside on the Library Terrace. So I didn't fight it. We explored the colors of fall...
It never looks like I pictured it would, but that's OK. So far that's been the case for many of my Mom'ing experiences. I'm learning to be adaptable. I'm learning to focus less on expectations and more on actual outcomes. Adaptability...wow- if I can teach them that skill -by watching me...Then yes...I will say- Well done you... I mean- no matter what we do- we can never ever ever make it perfect for them...But- we can show them how to handle it when it isn't perfect.
I can't believe they have one of these...I need one of these at home...Michael- let's look into this.