double wide

What a weekend... It's was chock full of fun...

Some weekends we have absolutely no plans... I think- we are such losers and nobody likes us... and then another weekend we will have back to back to back plans- and I think- We are so awesome and are so lucky to have made such good friends... 

High and low...up and down... Inside my mind is always a wild ride... 



We finally went double wide... And it's the greatest thing ever.... This is how we started out our Sunday. 




While I was taking pictures -he was eating a banana...An entire banana...at once...




 I love that they have a sun roof and I get to watch them take in the World.




Saturday night I had the honor and the privilege to hang out with some of Fresno's finest women. Women that are smart, caring, determined, spirited and powerful. We met for Happy Hour at 5:30 on Saturday- and I didn't even make it home until Sunday it was so fun....I mean technically it was Sunday because it was almost midnight when we ended up leaving the restaurant...Some of the ladies were existing friends- and some are new...It was an awesome exchange of real and genuine conversation. That's like 6 hours of solid female therapy... Talking and laughing-lots of laughing and eating and drinking and being real. 

I came home renewed, reinvigorated and happy... I think we should start some kind of club... Real, genuine, honest, fun woman meeting together once a month for Talk Therapy... You should start one where you live too. Thank you for being there, Vanessa, Vicki, Lisa, Loriane, Stacy, Susan, Liz, Wendy, Andrea and Heather...Each one of you inspires me.

Driving home I was listening to a replay of the Howard Stern show from 2008 on satellite radio... I was experiencing the thickest of deja vu. Remembering listening to that exact same show while driving around pregnant with Greyson, living in Hermosa Beach and working in pharmaceutical sales... I had absolutely no idea what to expect- and the book- What to Expect When You are Expecting- although ripe with facts- can't really sum it up for you...The things that happen inside your head and in your heart...

And the strength....Every one of us has so much strength...We have opportunities to tap into the well to confirm its existence. Having a child makes us strong...sometimes it tricks us into thinking we are weak from the doubt it creates- but it's actually just strength marinating. We are strong...Tough, tenacious, indestructible... How do I know you are too? Because something tells me that you have been through hard things...maybe you are going through hard things right now...and you are still here... You haven't given up... You are alive...make sure to feel alive...






And now- years later...I realize- Details may change from top to bottom- flip upside down and over- fully and completely...but the core- the heart- the good things that matter-our young spirit --always stays the same. My Parenting experience is absolutely nothing like I expected it to be...Nothing could have ever prepared me for the pain...for the fear and self doubt and chaos but most of all-the Love...and I had no idea that the Love would outweigh all the negatives a million times over...I had no idea that Love actually grows strength.

They are gift- and it is my Earthly duty to take care of them the way they are...To celebrate them...To teach them how to write their own story and make good choices with brilliant brush strokes along the way...





Poor Grey- I bribed him into going outside this evening.... 

Greyson- want outside? First we change shirt, then outside...








Greyson- want chocolate? First ears- then chocolate...






G got LOTS of chocolate for this one...


And never to be left out...










For the first time in awhile- I am not dreading my Monday. I am invigorated. Blessed. Content. Double wide happy...oh yeah- and Strong. 

WE CAN DO THIS.  


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