Slowly and swiftly I've been letting go of fear. The fear of my Life being far from perfect. The fear of me being far from perfect. And lately, the fear of being his Momma.
The fear of doing their precious lives justice. Both of them. They learn so slow...they remind me that learning isn't such a chore when it's filled with wonder, respect and awe.
It's my job to make sure their days are infused with at least a trace of whimsy. Making sure their story is a good one. I think that's our greatest role as parents...writing their story with an absence of excuses...I work too much, I'm too tired, we don't have time, it's too dangerous, he won't let me, it will ruin your dinner, it's almost time for bed. I'm a big lover of routine- but sometimes I think there's a need to throw the schedule out the door.
We approach hard times with our brakes on. Trying to avoid them at all costs. Sometimes trying to avoid the hard time is harder than just going through it. Resistance takes effort. For today resist nothing. Let go. I feel like I'm smack in the middle of letting go right now and it's so scary and so freeing all at once.
Remember, Life is hard and good... and it can only be both or neither.
Both or neither... Which do you choose?
Yesterday we went to color our souls Spring in some Almond orchards...It's bloom time.
One of California's top agricultural exports is Almonds- and most of them come from right here in the Central Valley of California.
Greyson was in heaven...the symmetry in the rows of trees and the ability to run as far and as fast as he could without limits. Petals fell like snow. It was magic.
I was reminded of how exquisite Mother Nature is. Beautiful, generous, calm and serene one moment and whirling and freezing and gray the next. Clearly Nature is a chick.
The blooming of the trees reminded me of the themes woven throughout nature. Life and it's full circles.The almond tree doesn't start out as a beautiful blooming tree ripe with nuts... It starts out as this guy...
And before that? It was just a little seed in the ground... fighting to exist...
Few call it beautiful or take pictures with little nubbins as the backdrop... It takes a years to be a bright and flowering tree... So often we want to be the beautiful tree with blooms right from the start when we start something new or when we end something and move on...
Give yourself permission to be the little nubbins in certain areas of your Life... I still think you are beautiful...
We have to be willing to start out as a little nut in the ground...fragile and determined...no one takes notice of our hard work... then slowly we develop roots and we grow... at first only under the ground for us to see...but if we keep at it-soon the World can notice. We become big and strong and beautiful...
And part of what makes the trees so beautiful- is the feeling of wonder that is created when you see row after row after row of trees...they need each other to truly stand out...
My picture taking Friend met us at the orchard to take some pictures of Greyson and me...
I brought bribery.
Life is extra sweet with Greyson around... (Thank you for the pictures, Vanessa!)
And as we were driving home I was mesmerized by the cotton candy skies and the setting sun... And when we drove by another orchard I just had to stop my car on the side of the road, and experience the view from the outside.
Hey God- I'm a big fan of your work.
It's funny...inserting wonder and awe into his Life is actually enriching mine. Full circle.
And today I bought some Almonds with a new found knowledge and respect and an awe for food that we eat straight from a tree.
From tree to table...Full circle...I swear I whispered to the little almonds-
Thank you...and I met your Mother and she is beautiful...
Like Life with Greyson + Parker on Facebook- or go hug an almond farmer and eat some almonds...
Ah, Chrissy. This is one of my favorites!!! Well done... You made my day! xoxoxo Nancy
ReplyDelete"I swear I whispered to the little almonds- thank you...and I met your Mother and she is beautiful..." This made my morning! Just lovely.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post and photos. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Beautiful words, beautiful story, beautiful pictures, beautiful Mama, beautiful boys <3 (and if you knew me, you'd know I'm a wordy but this is the best I can do)
ReplyDeleteAnd "Clearly Nature is a chick" :) Love that too <3 Wishing you a hefty happiness delivery today. Jennifer
Chrissy, I was just in CA over the weekend for a wedding. I always love the almonds in bloom. Your pictures captured them beautifully. My mom always called nature Mother Nature.... and I still do too... So yes, I agree nature is a chick! Greyson and Parker are so luck to have you as their mom!!
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