Plus I have a little time before I have to leave for a very fancy and important party... okay fine- I mean sushi take out in my bed.
I am learning to be happily mediocre at the things I am mediocre at. I'm working on pouring less heart into my mediocre and more love into the places I rock.
I'm a horrible cook- like laughably bad. Like I can burn rice- in a rice cooker. Truth. And I can't follow a recipe- because I don't get to be creative at all and then I just get so bored. I am not a good house keeper either. Sometimes I pull my sweatshirt sleeve over my hand and wipe window sills and call it dusting. I don't do my laundry- the husband does.
Certainly your children are better behaved and wearing cleaner clothes than mine.
I don't really have a signature style of clothing. I don't know how to match tops with pants with accessories so I just find something simple that works and wear the same version of it over and over again.
There are lots of moms feeding their children better, healthier and possibly even organic snacks. I promise your kids eat more vegetables than mine. Mine don't even like ketchup- I thought all kids liked ketchup? Isn't that some law? I've tried so many times to sneak vegetables into unexpected places but they are on to me. I mostly gave up awhile ago.
I'm not crafty at all. I can't do Pinterest projects, which is probably why I find this blog about Pinterest Fails so fantastic and hilarious. I'm rarely on time, my car is DISGUSTING. I could go on and on.
When it comes to parenting I'm not the best at any one thing. Except for one thing, I am amazing at being in love with my boys. Soaking em up. Getting annoyed and overwhelmed and yelling and loving all at the same time.
I am better than anyone at soothing Parker after he wakes up from a nap.
And Grey thinks I can do almost anything. His balloon popped- he didn't even freak out- he handed it to me...
Boooooooooowwwwww, he said... Because he thinks I'm capable of blowing up popped balloons. So of course I quickly ran to the drawer and grabbed a new white balloon and pretended like I was blowing up the broken one. I'm not ready for him to know yet that I'm not magic. And the whole time I blew up the balloon he just jumped up and down and flapped he was so happy.
I'm good at making Greyson happy.
You are a master at loving your loves too. Unbeatable in fact. Isn't that the biggest part of what it's all about really? We beat ourselves up over the little tiny things- like if they are eating enough vegetables-or our house isn't clean, but the big things- like loving big- we often fail to notice. I think we should take a minute to notice.
I'm also good at writing. I'm a terrible technical writer- but I am a good feely writer. I put a spout into my heart- which hurts a little at first but then just lets the love pour out. I take good pictures. I've never taken a class on it- but I know they are good because they make me FEEL. My pictures grew a soul after Greyson was diagnosed with autism. I've been shooting in Manual mode for almost 3 years now. I had to learn how to use every facet of my fancy camera quickly and efficiently in order to capture his soul which sometimes hides from his eyes. The pictures I took before I learned how to shoot in manual mode often made me so sad because they just didn't capture the boy I knew.
I can tell with one click of my shutter if Grey is with me or gone somewhere far away inside his head. Sometimes I take 100 to end up with a couple that makes my heart sing.
That's the key to taking good pictures- a willingness to take lots and lots and lots of bad pictures. I think that's the key to living a good life too- being willing to try over and over and over again if we don't get the results we want at first.
A moment of eye contact with Greyson is fleeting...I use tricks to try and get it. But my camera captures it for forever and it fills me up. His eyes were dark and I couldn't find him in them all day yesterday, but today his eyes were bright. He was back.
If you are like me- it's hard to say I am good at (blank). It was just so hard for me to say that stuff-which is why I am practicing. That's not humble or polite, I say to me, that's boastful. Aren't you full of yourself? There are many trained photographers so much better than you. And what makes you a writer? Because you write a blog? They let ANYONE write a blog.
I work at telling that mean girl inside to shut up. I'm practicing living larger than I give myself credit for. I'm practicing finding a new peace with the mediocre parts of me. I'm practicing getting self-worth for who I am and not the tasks I accomplish.
Want to join me? Don't focus on what you aren't awesome at. I promise there are things that you rock that no one else can. Focus on those things.
Usually its not you I compete with anyway- it's me. It's the type A, tightly wound, control freak me- on her very best day...the day where everything is clean and put away and I fixed my hair and wore makeup and didn't burn the rice and returned all my emails and phone calls and I worked out and worked with the boys patiently and calmly and emptied the dish washer and there are clean sheets on the bed and my to do list is totally crossed off. Yep, I compete with her.
The truth is, I'm a regular everyday mom and wife having sacred and everyday moments.
Notice I didn't say just a mom- because it's important and sacred work- this parenting gig. But I am like you. Or different from you but the same as you still. I'm just a regular old girl who feels a lot scared and a little overwhelmed at times. I'm glad you are here on this wild joy ride with me.
Are you that too?
Have an amazing weekend. I'll talk with you on the other side.
Come see Life with Greyson + Parker on Facebook...
Hi Chrissy! My name is Janel and I am a newbie because of Momastery. I thought I should introduce myself because I'm pretty sure I'll be following your story on a regular basis. Not in a creepy way, lol, but just in a way that makes me want to sit down on your couch and chat like old friends kind of way. Your boys are so very handsome, and your photos do show their soul. I appreciate your honesty, as a mom of 2 toddler girls, I get it. And I appreciate it. Anyway, nice to meet you, and thanks for the Popsicle :)ReplyDelete
Ahhhh....part of the reason I love this blog so much is because almost EVERY time I read it, in my head I am like, "yes, yes, ME TOO!". The good, the bad, the scary....its crazy how you manage to capture what we are all thinking but cannot even begin to articulate. I love it!ReplyDelete
You are well on your way....with everything!! I'm so proud of you! Congrats! I loved the Friday treat.ReplyDelete
Chrissy, thank you so much for sharing what it is like for you to photograph your kids with super powers. Whenever I am trying to assist with getting a good "shot" I am screaming "Eyes! Eyes!" not "Cheese" hoping for a perfect second of eye contact too. Yes, I want my kids saying "Ahhhhh" in every picture (ha ha). I am the mom who every year, returns the school pictures and does not do retakes. But as you beautifully described, we try over and over again if we don't get the results we want first. We persevere until we get that connection that shows who we really are. All the trying is worth it. Thank you.ReplyDelete
Your writing does come from your heart because it touches mine. I love reading your blog it never ceases to amaze me how you can put into words the feelings all mothers feel. Thank you, CindyReplyDelete
I stumbled on you from momastery. My 3.5-year-old can't talk yet. Not autism, global dyspraxia and SPD...but I instantly started crying when you said how much you wish to hear mom. Thanks for that understanding.ReplyDelete
I so get you with the 'yesterday he was gone, today he's back again'. The moments that break my heart also make it whole again.ReplyDelete
I have been reading your blog backwards all day, in free moments here and there. Am only to April, which is nice because I probably have lots more to read ahead of me! I loved your post in April about your husband asking you what you're reading and you pretending it was an email from someone you knew - so familiar. My husband doesn't understand why I get so wrapped up in the lives of these people I don't know. But I FEEL like I know them, through these honest, true words on the page. It's so much more than "mommy blogging" - it's empathy and comfort and finding similarities in people seemingly different than you. It's connecting, and it's important. Thanks for so eloquently sharing your story.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much for this post. I have been struggling so much lately with all of my shortcomings and focusing too much on them (probably because there are so many!). I have been feeling like a failure. But you know what? I am REALLY GOOD AT LOVING MY KIDS. THAT is what I am good at. And although that is just ONE thing, that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing. Thank you for reminding of my talents.(Found you through Momastery. I will be back daily! Your family and this blog are awesome!)ReplyDelete
I am scared. I am brave. I am strong. C, You made my whole world with this post. You are singing my letters out loud. Thank you for making me feel good about myself today. I don't know where I would be without the internet, my goodness, because I have never 'met' anyone that speaks to my heart the way that you do sometimes. The way that Glennon does sometimes. The way that Kelle Hampton does sometimes. I hope that you and your beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful boys are having a wonderful weekend. Thank you thank you thank you!ReplyDelete
I am so glad to have found this blog. I've been spending time the past couple of days reading it through. It's beautiful and real.
Looking forward to enjoying life's journey alongside you.
I like hearing the things you are good at! Spent this weekend with some girl friends talking about all of our mom guilt: not enough cooking, not enough sex w/our husbands, yelling at our kids, how we spend money, etc...we filled a page with the guilt. Then someone pointed out how much more difficult it would be for us all to list things off that we were succeeding at or making good effort at. So glad to see you are using your voice to help change that. Thanks!ReplyDelete
I first connected with the title of your guest blog, because I feel like I'm not a typical mom either. I have felt such a connection to your writing. Thank-you for sharing your boys and your life.ReplyDelete
Thank you for being brave enough to share your beautiful boys and your family's journey with us! As a fellow "A-team" mama, your words are such a gift. Looking forward to following along!ReplyDelete
WOW - how powerful is your happiness equation!? In love with that! Thanks so much for sharing your life and moments. I've been thinking about and praying for your family - in a "let the blessings fall" sort of way. I am in love with your honesty and openness - TRUTH is ALWAYS powerful - keep on sharing your truth mama!ReplyDelete
I'm new here as well and feel as though you are writing for me. You have a way of speaking to me and it's so refreshing - so welcoming - to know that someone else feels the way I do. Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful boys with us. You are a gifted writer and photographer and mother. So happy to have found you!ReplyDelete
PS. Don't worry about the rice. I'm actually a pretty good cook and haven't mastered rice yet.
gorgeos pictures, and the boys are soooo Handsome! I´m a two boys mother and is the best thing in the world.ReplyDelete
I´m starting to follow you dear, I very sensitive with moms and kids.
lots of hugs from Chile
"You are a master at loving your loves too. Unbeatable in fact." I've been feeling so very useless lately, and empty. And I read this line, and I cried. Thank you.ReplyDelete
Fantastic photos, and what a lovely appreciation of those precious moments we have!ReplyDelete