Friday, July 19, 2013

show up

I think sometimes God watches our life like a really great movie. It's the oldest version of reality TV known to man. I think he put his hands over his heart and looks on completely engrossed. I think sometimes we make him laugh his deep calming belly laugh. I think sometimes he cries with us. And I think sometimes he sweetly smiles when we are crying and says, Just wait my most precious one. It's gonna be better than you ever could have imagined.

We are His wildest dreams come true.

Greyson has opened my eyes to a whole new kind of beautiful in the world.

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I feel like I found a new form of art that was never discovered before now. I look at almost everything differently now. I find myself doing things, like buying misshapen fruit at the grocery story because it is different.  I don't want people to leave it behind because it doesn't fit our standards of perfection. I'm just crazy about different.

In case it's your first time here. Welcome Friend, we've been waiting for you. Read this post first. We made friends for life with Frank our local trash man. He is a good man and I've heard from many people that he has restored their faith in humanity.

Yesterday a couple local news sources did a story on Greyson and Frank. I'm not sure I'm supposed to have or share or see this yet, but I wanted to share it with you. I've watched it eleventy hundred times today.  CLICK HERE

And in this video clip Frank says, I'm just an instrument... and when I first heard him say that I thought- No you aren't, you are so much more than that... But then I thought about what he said. Instruments are beautiful. Not everyone can play one. It's a skill and an art and it makes something beautiful and good that makes people happy. Something that draws people in and helps them connect. Frank IS an instrument. And so am I, and so are you reading. And together we make a beautiful, breathtaking symphony.

God Bless Every one of you.

I read someone once that has stuck with me...  We don't get jealous of things we don't have. It's bigger and different than that. We get jealous of things we want. Things we feel we should have, feel, be or do.

And I am realizing that not all jealousy is bad. It is a whisper. It is a beautiful sign from the Heavens that says, Go get that. Make that yours.

I'm not jealous of fast runners or Ukulele players. I am jealous of great writers, people who are publishing books, amazing photographers and people with a platform bigger than mine to get their story heard. So I am learning to listen to that voice.

I ask myself, Is this something that in your wildest dreams you can have? And if the answer is Yes, then I say, Go get it. Make it happen. STOP LOOKING FOR ROAD BLOCKS STUPID. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. GO ANYWAY.

(Sorry, sometimes the chicken shit me needs the stern me to yell at it. her. Me.)

Use your jealousy to learn what it is you really want out of life.

Something happened to me soon after I moved to Los Angeles. I created an imaginary invisible cloak around me so no one could see in. I walked with my eyes down, barely looking up with each passer by. Whether in Beverly Hills or Santa Monica or Hermosa Beach- the rules were mostly the same. Everyone followed them.

We moved to the Central Valley of California 3 years ago. I remember walking at the local park trails soon after my arrival.

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Which we visited tonight at sunset. I was rushing home from the grocery store this evening, blown away by the incredible setting sun. I ran in the front door and yelled to Olivia the amazing sitter, Can you stay longer!!!? Help me do a silhouette sunset picture. Hurry! Grab the boys! And I didn't really give her a chance to say no because the sun was just so amazing.

But after we first arrived in the Central Valley of California, while on the walking trails people would call out to me...

What a beautiful morning!
Isn't he lucky to be riding in that stroller?

What is going on? I wondered... Do these people think they know me? I must look like someone they know that already lives here.

Here, let me get that for you, said nice strangers holding open doors as I walked into buildings. I like your shoes, says the pretty lady while I wait for my coffee. Smiles freely doled out with each comment.

I don't get it. Why do these people keep talking to me? I wondered. It's so...weird.
And not to appear rude, I realized quickly I had to say something back. Even in the morning. Even before my coffee.

And after a short while, my hot and itchy cloak ice melted... And I looked around and realized I wasn't alone after all. I was just surrounded by a community of people. I am proud to live here. Fresno, California (and my hometown St. Louis, Missouri) are amazing places to live. I still think a great place to raise a kid can be anywhere great parents are too.

Sometimes I'm surprised that I've been around for 39 years and I've still got so much to figure out. I'm pretty sure if I was around for another few thousand years I might to start to get a hang of this thing called life. I've come to realize just how much of it comes down to human connection.

I've always had a laundry list of what makes a good friend. Fun, similar parenting styles, dependable, kind, honest, more happy than not, emotionally expressive, authentic. At the end if the day I'm realized what the most important is. The number one non-negotiable. Just show up.

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Please show up. Show up as you are. Don't- I didn't know when to come by/call.  Show up. As is. You don't have to bring a thing. No food, no gift, no coffee. Come in whatever state you are in. Unshowered. In your pajamas. All dressed up. Don't wait for an invitation. If I really need you, show up when it's terribly inconvenient for you. When you have a million other places to be. Show up. Whether you are mad or crabby or hungry or happy, show up. No matter what I have going on in my life, I promise you, I will always do the same.



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  1. I think I love Frank now almost as much as you guys! Beautifully wrote Chrissy! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story even though you leave yourself open to be critiqued for things as simple as the words you use. You use them well so don't stop.

  2. Chrissy -

    I struggled with feelings of jealously ALL DAY yesterday and I was beating myself up for not feeling happy for what was in front of me, the many blessings I had and then I read your words and is ALWAYS the case, I felt a stirring in my heart...

    And I allowed myself to listen to my heart, instead of the voices in my head telling me that I am NOT ENOUGH, that I am LESS heart says that the story (which is far too complicated for one blog comment, but maybe will be shared as we form a friendship over emails and comments) is far from over and that's why I'm feeling jealous...

    Your words allowed me to love myself in the way that I love others...

    Thank you for sharing your story, our characters and scenes may be different, but our stories are the same...

    Sending love and hopes for friendship from Richmond, VA...


  3. I feel so lucky to have found your blog! You inspire me! Love your writing and your photos! And, yes, go for it!

  4. I feel blessed as well having found your blog. you are an encourager.....that's what this world needs, encouragment it gives us courage to show up!!!!

  5. You are amazing. Inside and out. Your reminders are so very important and I find them inspiring. You're circle of readers is only going to continue to grow because of your honest, heartfelt writing. Thanks, once again, for the reminder that sometimes it really is just that simple. Just show up. Love it.

  6. Keep it coming! Thank you. I found you through Momastery, and love both of your blogs because I think you both value authenticity, truth and finding joy and beauty in small moments. Your stories are different, but those are sentiments that more of us should focus on, more of the time.

  7. hi.i've been following your blog for quite a while.I have a son and daughter 7 grandchildren and 1 great grandson. but I have to say, I have never seen children as beautiful as yours. I'm a Pagan,so feel awkward saying God sent them to you, but I truly believe they are gifts from Mother Nature, their 'diference' is a positive thing. Think about all the people they have brought into your life. They are so special, I so look forward to your blogs, even when you are feeling 'down'. Maybe the secret is to accept that your gorgeous sons are different, but unique. I honesly think you have been Blessed with these two wonderful special boys. I know things may seem very dark at times, bit just look into their beautiful, and above all, innocent eyes

  8. Another beautifully written post that spoke to my heart. Thank you - what a great way to start my morning (as I am sitting here having MY coffee). XO to you and your boys.

  9. Oh friend! I wasn't expecting live animated Greyson & Chrissy - what a wonderful treat :) Frank was awesome, too!
    I am a show-er upper.I deeply believe that is of utmost importance. Thank you for sharing it.
    I am happy to show up here everyday - even happier that you show up for us.
    Love & happiness, sweet momma. Jennifer

  10. Dear Chrissy,

    Wow, I have finally found a moment to write you! I am also a stay-at-home momma to two little boys (a 24 month old and a 9 month old). However, reading your posts each day puts a lot in perspective, as well as provides company for me as I know you, me and a million other moms out there are getting through some long days at home! Thanks for always noting how tough, yet fulfilling it is.

    So, to be somewhat brief, your writing is absolutely amazing. Your focus on living life, finding the beauty and being real with others despite your challenges ... is all such a testimony to living the life the Lord has given you with purpose!

    Secondly, your precious boys are such a LIGHT in this world! Their cherubic faces completely melt me. They are truly amazing children, and have the perfect mother - for them :) You and your husband are using their lives to make a difference, for sure. Congrats on all that you've accomplished so far in sharing about autism. Thank you for your transparency in showing your lives through this blog!!

    Lastly, the messages you write couldn't touch me any more than they already do. I cried at "Dear Mom" the other day (made my hubby read it too!). And, among others, the "show up" message is a big one. Why don't people show up? For all the reasons you pointed out. A quote we hear at church from one of the pastors often is "You can fake caring, but you can't fake showing up." This gets us to "do" rather than talk ourselves out of doing quite often!!

    Beth (in Virginia)

  11. Great writing! Keep up the encouragement, it means so much.

  12. There are 2,711 of us (and millions more who have yet to find this blog) who are so grateful the you "show up" everyday. Thank you friend for being you. Love you!