Parker woke up grumpy. He hated everything and the only thing that made him stop screaming was being tucked into my shirt.
True love is sharing a shirt neck hole. I tried every single other thing in the Universe. Jumping? Swaying? Chocolate? You want down? Up? Outside? The car? TV? A book. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- WHAT?!!!
For practically his first entire year I wore him in a wrap so it felt like home.
He even wanted to leave Speech Therapy.
FINE! I'll pop your stupid bubbles!
Such a Doodle-riffic face. It's hard for him to stay a grump dog for too long. He's so awesome.
Today I drove by myself to pick Greyson up from the Typical Preschool he attends once a week. I bought two new songs for the ride and I listened to them blaring on repeat, windows down the whole way there. I left early and took my time. I wasn't white knuckled, running late, cuticle picking, speeding Mom listening to finding Nemo for the 1,688 time. I was ME. The REAL ME.
Oh how I miss her sometimes.
The Me under layers of doodie and crabby and tired and not tonight I have a headache and a crusty shirt and no makeup-but at least I brushed my teeth, I think I used to be fun, Me.
83 degrees, windows down, sun shining and the earth and ME.
I was awesome. I felt awesome. For 17 minutes I was cool and laid back and effortless and carefree and type B and confident and edgy and a bottomless cup of put together and joyous and happy. It was amazing. You simply WILL drive by yourself with loud music and windows down soon. (Homework assignment 1).
And tell someone new you love them. (Homework assignment 2).
My favorite part of today was when Parker stuck his hand down the foulest smelling diaper known to man. His entire hand left wearing a poop glove. And then when I ran to get wipes, he painted with the never ending supply on a side table outside that immediately dried and stuck like glue. So creative. Super fun. Not to mention we made so many new fly friends. I still have faint poo-roma pheromones oozing from my skin from attempting to remove the poo glue. Parker then smelled like a frat house and I smelled like a dead animal in the frat house.
But oh yes, I enjoyed* it. And no, it did not go by fast. In fact- as I write it is still today. I have no idea how it is still today, but I'm certain it is.
And now that the Mom'ing is over, I am deep breathing and chocolateing and smiling and still crazy in Love with my little pooping machines.
Here's the deal. It's hard. All of its hard. Kids, no kids. work, no work. If I've ever said anything to the contrary I must have been lying or I had already forgotten the events from earlier that day.
And even though it's still TODAY (I know- still), the hard part is over. And today wasn't all good or all bad. It was a sweet and salty mix of the in between. It usually is- even when it felt all bad.
When times are hard we often ask -How am I going to do this forever? But we don't have to do it forever. Today we will do today. Tomorrow we'll do tomorrow. Tomorrow's forever is never the same as today's. 24 hours at a time, Friend. And if that's too much, 5 minutes at a time. Easier.
________________
THE REAL ME
I am energy
I am enough
I am a student and a teacher
I'm a truth teller and seeker
I am witty,
Worthy and brave when I need to be
And scared when I need to be too
I get the chills from simple reminders of God and beauty and people and Life
I don't need to figure this out
I don't need to think all the time
In my heart, I already know
It's life. Don't take it so seriously, I whisper knowingly
Roll down the windows and sometimes enjoy the ride
This little light of mine- I'm going to let it shine
Let yours shine too and we can be the starry sky
Love,
Chrissy
Life with Greyson + Parker on Facebook. It's a poo free zone.
*sarcasm.
You are AMAZING is what you are! Sin Dixon
ReplyDeleteI really resonated with your joyful drive. We have two kids with Aspergers with sensory issues when it comes to car music (and three more kids with varying opinions about music and car rides). I homeschool our kids and am home with them every day. My husband goes to work five days a week. He drives his own car for 45 minutes to work and 45 minutes home from work, listening to whatever he wants as loud as he wants. He doesn't understand or appreciate the joy in such things or why I would say such things as, "but you GET TO drive for 45 whole minutes in a car BY YOURSELF with your OWN MUSIC - that's not a horrible thing, that's AWESOME!"
ReplyDeleteLove your little asterisk at the end ;) That made a lot more sense! Great photos, as always.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, we are so similar from what i read in your posts. I get so excited when i read something you write that i can relate to wholeheartedly. I get lmost giddy, like i want to pick up the phone and call you and say "hey, that is totally ME too." It is so validating i guess when someone else says it out loud (or writes it) that you think or do. It may seem stange, but i do. The music and the wind are two things i discovered myself one day. "Wait, I don't have to listen to Mickey Mouse music?? i can change the CD? I can roll down the windows without someone screaming for me to roll them back up??" It is a great feeling. A little slice of heaven or a piece of the old ME. Homework #2 - I will work on and get back to you. I have not done that before. Thanks again for making me smile. Kristen @ One in 1 hundred
ReplyDeleteI was just going to say, I miss those cuddle days until I got to the end of your post. I guess there are advantages to having teens. May your day today be filled with poop only in all the right places!
ReplyDeleteyour posts are always so inspiring... if your Lil Men can do things outside of their comfort zones, so can we all... that has gotten me through more than one daunting task! thank you for your blog, i look forward to it every day!
ReplyDeleteOh, that was ME yesterday!!! When my youngest vomited all over himself and the floor of Trader Joe's. My holy place. Delightful. I have never been so thankful for the small group of momma's who saw my situation and ran for paper towels, a trash bag, a mop, anything they could find to help me. They had that knowing, compassionate look in their eye's. I took a deep breath (well, not too deep...vomit stinks) stripped my sad baby down to his diaper, threw his stinky clothes in a bag, grabbed my 4 year olds hand, and tried to walk out of there as composed as possible. "Today" was not my favorite at that moment, but cuddling that same baby boy later that night as he slept in my arms....that I am still cherishing hours later.
ReplyDeleteLove the photo of the pool, and I need to know, what were the two songs??!!
ReplyDeleteHall of Fame and Everything has Changed (Taylor Swift)!!!
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