Tuesday, December 3, 2013


There's been a theme in my life for at least the past week. Maybe even longer- but I'm only now getting around to discovering it. Discovery. Discovery. Discovery. Discovery. I love the way it sounds when I say it. A soft s and a hard c. The adorable and annoying. The sweet and salty. Oh the divine inspiration created when opposites collide.

The day before Thanksgiving Greyson had a rare morning free from therapy.  We met our wonderful Friends at a place called the Discovery Center in Fresno.

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It's quirky and old and dirty and not all fancy- which is one of my favorite types of places. It's the kind of place where you really have the freedom to be yourself. Not your boring, scheduled, adult self- the fun, anything goes kid version of you. You have to ability to discover.

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Greyson loves to discover new things (unless we are talking about vegetables). He even crawled into a bird coop from a tiny little crawl space too small for me to rescue him.

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He explores without fear. Sometimes not the best trait for a 4 year old but today it was beautiful to watch and brilliant. I used to have a boss that would say- I'd rather have to throw a little water on you from time to time, than have to light a match under you. I feel the same.

I called for him inside the fence. GREYSON!!! Come back. Hurry! That mama bird is going to peck your face off, Greyson! I told him because I was really a little bit afraid that the bird really was going to peck his face off. She had baby ducks and she was in protective mode. 

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OHHHH WOW!!! The bird is going to peck Greyson's face off!!!! 4 year old Tommy yells to his older brother Russell. He's gonna peck his face off!!! He yells again in astonishment.

Sorry, I laughed to my Friend, Heather, I forget that other kids can repeat what I say. 

We explored all weekend long. The boys and I are happiest when we are outside.

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This picture took my breath away...Parker looks like a big boy to me. Too fast...much too fast.

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They remind me to get dirty and to dip your feet into the water if that is what makes you happy.

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Parker took off his shoes- put his arms up for Michael to lift him- and then pointed to the water. He finds a way to let us know what he wants.

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If my camera had a shutter press count the past week, it would probably show a million. Over the weekend I edited hundreds of pictures. I still do a few photo shoots for friends and friends of friends. I can't live without my camera so I fit it into my life where I can.

The day before Thanksgiving, my Friend Vanessa gave birth to a brand new baby girl, Sylvina- named after her legendary Grandmother watching over her in Heaven. I offered to take some pictures of this precious 4 day old little breath of brand new. Before I knew it- 2 hours had passed. Time truly doesn't exist when I am taking pictures. 

A while back I wrote a post and I mentioned my Physical Therapist- during one visit he was working on my neck and shoulder- and sometimes he would get so into it that he would close his eyes and work with a deeply intent look on his face. I was riveted by his passion. Hopeful that we all may be so lucky to find something that so truly makes us feel alive...

And that's instantly what I thought when Vanessa texted me this picture later that day.

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I was closing my eyes and I didn't even realize it. And realizing this has created a rush of appreciation for the fact that I have found something that makes me feel so incredibly happy. Something that makes me want to learn more. Something that doesn't deflate me when it takes time to figure it out.  I forget to celebrate that. 

For years I searched for that thing that would make my soul swirl. A few years ago, I bought a guitar. Will this be my thing? I hoped and wondered. My hands and neck hurt every time I attempted playing. Nothing about reading music made sense to me. The more I learned- the more I hated it. I was going to sign up for lessons- but I kept putting it off. Days later I returned the damned thing.

Between then and now I've tried a hundred different things- hoping it would be my thing. Some I tried to force. And then I assumed I was broken because nothing made me feel that spark I knew passion required.

Until now. I closed my eyes...I forget to celebrate it because my photography isn't perfect. Because there's always going to be a case or a lens that I want. Because I need to take a Photoshop course. Then I will be really good- I've always thought...but really good doesn't compare to closing your eyes passion. That's what is most important. How could I forget that? Passion, not perfection. That's what matters.

If you haven't found your thing- keep trying. I promise you have one. I'm certain God gave all of us at least one thing- a thing that we love so much it makes us lose track of time. 

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Welcome to Earth, Baby Sylvina. And thank you for letting me share your gift, Vanessa.

Much Love,



  1. Amen sister!! I love to be outside, but I get precious little time to do so, so lately I have been imagining me squishing through mud puddles, or splashing in a tidal pool, or running barefoot over grass (which is funny because I am SO not a runner of any sort)... and it gives me a sense of calm & peace that I have been missing.

    Your pictures are always amazing, but what a joy to see little Sylvina... she is a shining example of miracle, and love. Thank you for sharing, and thanks to her family. I have a little happiness leaking out of my eyes. :-)

  2. This made me cry today. I've been trying to find my passion for years, something that makes me truly happy. I like to take photographs too, but it always seems like I'm not very good. I used to write, but with three kids, I don't get time, and I feel like I've kind of forgotten how. I used to be an intelligent, thinking person, but in this stay-at-home mom life, I just get so bored and desperate sometimes. I love my kids, but life can be so dreary, filled with nothing but stacks of dirty dishes and piles of laundry, or so it seems some days. I want to feel alive and passionate again. Thank you for your pictures and your thoughts, Chrissy. I love reading your words. I have a few blogs that I read, but whenever I'm feeling down, I always go to yours first.

  3. Hi Friend :) Looked like a beautiful day of discovery. We are beginning the permacloud season here, so lovely sunny days are a welcome sight, even just a photo :)
    I'm glad you have your photography - I know by looking at the pictures it really is your thing. I think your boys are, too. Because even though I have never looked at your face when you talk about them, I know you close your eyes <3
    Happy Holiday season. Much love, happiness & sunshine to you, sweet momma xoxo Jen

  4. LOVE that picture of you with your eyes closed. You were captured perfectly in your "happy place". And that photo of the family at the end literally took my breath away. Thank you for sharing your gift.

  5. These pictures are soo beautiful. Thank you!