It started out all innocent like. I just want to be near the pool, they told me with their eyes.
Then there was some nakedness. I spy Greyson and Belle.
And a few moments after this January nuttiness started, Parker walked over to me while I was relaxing on a lounge chair. After just a second, he did an about face back towards the pool- which was only inches away. I notice an intimately familiar white shining object in his hand, and in slow motion I go to yell, jump, scream, stomp and light myself on fire to stop what was just about to happen.
Too late. There goes my phone. My second arm. God love you, Hands Free Mom, your writing and message is important, but on days like today (ie- ALL DAYS), I just don't have time for that nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I soak my babes up. I go down the slide with them and frequently give them my complete and undivided attention. And sure, I can easily set me phone in a drawer on a Sunday and be content, but NOT ON A WEDNESDAY and NOT with Michael out of town. Sometimes mindlessly browsing the Internet and sending 147 texts in 10 minutes is EXACTLY what my kids need me to do to be sane. I am doing them a favor. Sometimes texting is my only social interaction I get all day, thank you very much. And despite the sunny weather, it was NOT swimming weather. I would tell you the temperature, but I can't BECAUSE I AM UTTERLY DEPENDANT ON MY PHONE and GOOGLE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING. I can't believe people used to have to open their front door to see what the weather was like!!!
I had to hop in the shallow end of the frigid pool to retreive my phone. The boys thought I was SO COOL for getting in, smiling and flapping away. I immediately lost my cool status when I got out--screaming loud enough to disturb the neighbors, THE PHONE DOESN'T GO IN THE POOL!!! NOOOOO. PHONE. IN. POOL!!!!!!
My pants were heavy and dripping wet, so I had to take them off before I went into the house- and our two-story neighbors behind us can see directly into our back yard, which I'm sure added ammunition to their phone call to the police, Yes- there is a pantless, crazy woman going INSANE next door. Screaming. Wearing nothing but a tshirt and a tattered pair of black Victoria's Secret thong underwear- and they look to be about 3 years old .
I went inside and put my phone in rice. And then there was silence and an unbearable unease and twitchiness. Both boys have a monthly team meeting tomorrow. What time? I don't know! I know I have a dermatologist appointment at some time this week. Does Parker's Early Intervention Teacher come this Friday or next? WHAT ELSE WORLD? I need to know what's on the books for the next day or two so my head doesn't fly right off.
So I checked the phone after a couple of hours. I know, you are supposed to wait 24. It was quick rice though, so I was hoping that might do the trick. It turned on (Yay!) but was quirky as heck. Siri- the speech recognition phone assistant would randomly ask, What would you like me to do? At first I was annoyed- I didn't press the button for you to come out, I yelled at her. Finally the 10th time, I started to feel like she was the only one who cared about me. I started to think that maybe she is actually being nice. Maybe she really wants to help. Even though it's hard for me to ask others for help, I decided to give it a try. Siri- we are all out of the corn pasta the boys eat, can you pick some up?
I'm sorry, I don't understand, she said numerous times.
That's okay, thanks anyway. I love you, I said. I didn't want her to feel bad for not understanding simple requests.
But Christina, you hardly know me, she retorted. I SWEAR. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
So the night led to waiting at the Apple store in the mall, resetting numerous different iphone and icloud and apple id, and I can't remember what else passwords to something I already can't remember. I'm screwed. But I have a replacement phone- backed up last April according to the computer- even though I synced it today. And my calender is completely blank and I am lost and attempting not to panic. I really have no idea what I'm going to do.
I guess I can start by asking Siri.
PS- At least I have my camera, and that makes me happy.