Sunday, July 6, 2014

good intentions

I have a good idea. Let's set some intentions for the week. What do you think? What do we want to feel? Accomplish? Change? Do more of? Stop doing?

I want to live with purpose. I don't like it when it feels like life is happening at me or to me. I want us to be one, me and my life. And I want to be more present in my real own actual life too.

Everything important in life must begin with an intention. We must seek it out, it doesn't help to just sit and wait and hope it comes and finds us. Spiritual Guri, Deepak Chopra gives the following five recommendations for setting intentions...

1.  Slip into the Gap: Most of the time our mind is caught up in thoughts, emotions, and memories. Beyond this noisy internal dialogue is a state of pure awareness that is sometimes referred to as “the gap.” One of the most effective tools we have for entering the gap is meditation. Meditation takes you beyond the ego-mind into the silence and stillness of pure consciousness. This is the ideal state in which to plant your seeds of intention.

2.  Release Your Intentions and Desires: Once you’re established in a state of restful awareness, release your intentions and desires. The best time to plant your intentions is during the period after meditation, while your awareness remains centered in the quiet field of all possibilities. After you set an intention, let it go – simply stop thinking about it. Continue this process for a few minutes after your meditation period each day.

3.  Remain Centered in a State of Restful Awareness: Intention is much more powerful when it comes from a place of contentment than if it arises from a sense of lack or need. Stay centered and refuse to be influenced by other people’s doubts or criticisms. Your higher self knows that everything is all right and will be all right, even without knowing the timing or the details of what will happen.

4.  Detach from the Outcome: Relinquish your rigid attachment to a specific result and live in the wisdom of uncertainty. Attachment is based on fear and insecurity, while detachment is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of your true Self. Intend for everything to work out as it should, then let go and allow opportunities and openings to come your way.

5.  Let the Universe Handle the Details: Your focused intentions set the infinite organizing power of the universe in motion. Trust that infinite organizing power to orchestrate the complete fulfillment of your desires. Don’t listen to the voice that says that you have to be in charge, that obsessive vigilance is the only way to get anything done. The outcome that you try so hard to force may not be as good for you as the one that comes naturally. You have released your intentions into the fertile ground of pure potentiality, and they will bloom when the season is right.

Reading those recommendations reminds me that life is happening with me- not at me. I possibly even feel a spark of excitement to start my week. Although the Universe TOTALLY has it covered, there are some things that I must also do to become more present.

  • I'm going to take a couple of days off from writing. I'm going to be a life participant instead of the writer/observer place that my mind likes to go to. When you are writing in your mind- it's like a parallel existence- and one that I am on the outside of. Instead I'm going to jump in. And taking a break will help me keep my focus on why I write. I forget sometimes and that sucks the joy right out of it. It's not to get likes on Facebook. It's not so you will tell me I'm a great Mom. It's not for my ego or to make money. I won't even allow ads on my blog because I never want for anyone to doubt for one second why I write. It's for my boys, for anyone living with autism, and for all people desperate to find the funny and the good in life- even if your circumstances aren't ideal. Especially if they aren't ideal. And together we all feel a little more understood and a little less alone. That's a mighty beautiful thing. 

  • I'm changing the way I use Social Media this week. This is a BIG one for me. During the week I get lonely. We usually go from therapy to therapy and I'm stuck in the house  and waiting a lot. It is a long term investment and there is no more important work I could be doing- but sometimes I forget that part of it. I escape into my phone. I check my personal Facebook, Life with Grey Facebook, Twitter, My two separate email accounts, Instagram, my blog. It's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. I'm TOO plugged in. Checking and scrolling and checking all day long making the empty grow BIGGER. Seeing things I'm not doing. Seeing snapshots of other's lives that lacks the intimacy I crave. Social media becomes its own person in my life. A person who flatters me or puts me down or pisses me off or builds me up- none of which is real. I like who I am over the weekend much more than I do during the week- one reason being I'm not on my phone or computer nearly as much. I don't need it. Over the weekend I deleted my Instagram account down to just family and a few friends and I'm not going to constantly use it for a hit of false connection. I need to listen to what feels good, and stop when it feels bad. I want to live in MY life, not vicariously in someone elses life through their pictures. Facebook is off my phone. At first I felt twitchy and now I feel hopeful and peaceful. It scares me how engrossed and happy and angry my phone makes me. I'm taking away that power. In moments when the twitchy need to scroll feels bigger than me, I'm going to check in with a real friend. I'll write a letter or a card. Call someone. Text a friend. Draw. Make a plan to see a friend. Real things that fill the empty bigger and better than an ap on a phone.

  • I'll connect with like-minded people. You don't have to associate with people that make you feel bad, people that put you down or don't have the same life principals as you do. It's hard to let go though- some people are family- and you can't really just walk away from them for good. This week I give you permission to not let it hurt as much though. Distance yourself and take it less personally. We don't have to like everyone to prove we are a good person. Sometimes walking away is the best option.
I hope you had a joyous 4th of July Holiday. I think it's the best one I've had since I became a Mom. Thursday night we went to a high school for a huge celebration.

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Grey LOVED the band.

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Doodle LOVED running into crowds as fast as he could.

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Me and my Annie.

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Parker liked the fireworks and Grey hated them. He sobbed and screamed and shook. He wouldn't wear noise cancelling head phones. We were too far to escape from the car. We laid on a blanket on the grass and I covered him with all my weight. I held him so tight until they ended. Strangely it was one of my favorite moments of parenting because I felt like I knew what to do to help him. In that moment- he was all that mattered.

The day of the 4th we celebrated at my friend Heather's with food and Friends and swimming and cannon balls and SO MUCH FUN. It's exactly how I pictured grown up life as a little girl.

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The boys are swimming machines. We are still working on getting Grey's face in the water, but he is the happiest doggy paddling machine. I can barely believe my two eyes.

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And how cool is this?! Our own personal Kona Ice truck!!! Thanks Rich and Andrea!!!

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Parker worked on both while Grey swam and swam.

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Sitting in a truck eating hot dogs- perfection. And during the fireworks Grey and I went inside and watched Bubble Guppies. It's amazing how much good there is waiting in the unexpected. 

So, what are you intentions for the week? If you want you can send some out in the Universe too. That's the first step in having them come true. Have a great week. 

Much love,



  1. Excellent blog as always. Glad you had a Happy Fourth! Looks like what I'd want in a 4th. Canada Day is similar, but more understated, I guess. Here's to your achieving your goals, or at least moving towards what you deem success. Even little successes. Gotta celebrate the small victories, as you well know. Your boys are doing it, you will too. Lots of love & good vibes to you & your family!

  2. I've thought a lot about the idea of removing facebook, etc. from my phone but I know that twitchy feeling you refer to and can't do it. We're going to Disney World next week and I was already thinking about just staying off of it that week. Sure, lots of people would "like" my photos of my adorable boys riding rides and meeting characters but I know I will spend part of our precious time scrolling through pictures trying to pick the perfect one and then spending that extra minute posting it online. I want to be fully with them that week and not worry about anyone else. Fingers crossed!

  3. I know you probably get this all the time, but these boys are so lucky to have you guys as parents. You can see in every post how much love you and michael have for these special little souls.

    When you think how things could have been different. my experience growing up with as a spectrum kid wasnt a happy one, and i know know autistic children who have had parents who have, because of lack of understanding, stifled and marginalised them, instead of supporting and encouraging them like they deserve. It takes special people to recognise that kids with autism view the world entirely differently to us, and to love them unconditionally. So much love for all of you!

    Ps greyson and parker have the most incredible eyes ive ever seen!

  4. I love this. Social media can really be toxic sometimes, can't it? The need to feel accepted, the likes, the jealousy, the constant checking of the phone- it runs our lives at times. I had no phone service for almost a week and it felt wonderful. To truly unplug is a glorious thing.

    Sending you and the boys hugs on this Monday. It is going to be a fantastic week for you Chrissy. I am putting it out there in the universe =)


  5. You are a breath of fresh air, my friend. And while I struggle with social media overload, I'm also grateful for its presence in my life and connecting me to all of the beautiful friends, writers, artists, musicians I met at Doe Bay. I love seeing all the beauty that group is putting out into the world with their gardens, blogs, videos, essays, poetry, cooking, photography. All in moderation and that is the key. I'm working on it, too, and you've inspired me to take a step back from my phone usage. It's near me all the time. You've inspired me to uninstall FB. Thank you!

  6. You are an amazing Mother, Chrissy! I have to say that you already live with the intention you speak of in this post! Just an outsider's opinion! Praying for your family! :)

  7. The one about letting go of our ideas of what outcomes should be. I need to work on that because I get so dang frustrated when they don't. Funny how I get upset with my kid for doing the exact same thing I'm guilty of. I am going to be intentional about that this week. Thank you for that! - Erica

  8. What an amazing 4th! I love the pool photos and it looks like a fabulous celebration. Not sure what Kona Ice is but clearly your boy enjoyed it!

  9. Lisa, a Tennessee girl now!July 9, 2014 at 4:35 PM

    As much as I miss your posts when you take breaks, I totally understand you needing to take them, and I applaud you for doing so! It's funny, I'm also on Facebook, and I know that you are as well, but I have never even tried finding your page. I like the energy of your blog, and I think I'm content with this connection. (well, I would so much rather be "real" friends, but am happy to at least know you on here!)
    I'm trying to live my life trusting in the Universe! I mean really, I'm here in Tennessee, with everything falling into place, so it's hard NOT to trust in the Universe. We finally moved my husband and son down here over the holiday. :-) Our Ohio house is sold. It hasn't closed yet, so I have to put that little caveat in there so I don't jinx it, but the family is finally mostly back together! I will always be an Ohio girl, but now I'm putting down some roots in Tennessee.
    You are changing the world! In some way, every single person who reads your blog is affected and their world is changed. Some changes may be big and others may be tiny, but they add up. You add so much positive energy to the world, that it can't help but be changed for the better! Thank you!

  10. Hi Friend! The MIracles were on their annual Griswold family vacation last week. We packed up the car and headed 4 hrs south to Mason OH & stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge Waterpark & went to King's Island. Really a wonderful week.
    So, I have been thinking about something you asked on you FB page: What do you do to de-stress? And I honestly didn't & don't have an answer. Well, comfort food & sleeping; but that isn't healthy. I will spare you the details but I am seriously working on finding something. Thank you, again, for helping me focus on the important things.
    Your 4th looks like something out of a James Van Der Beek movie (or someone equally as California-y). Glad it was a good one.
    Love & happiness to you sweet Momma. Miss you! xoxoxo Jen