Monday, November 17, 2014

another day in paradise

I went to bed last night at 9:30pm. That's the earliest I've gone to bed since I was probably eight years old. My eyelids were drooping and Greyson had just fallen asleep on my shoulder. {heaven}. The air outside was cold and under the covers was so so warm. But I desperately need time alone.

Are you going to sleep now? Michael asked.
No, I replied half steam.
Why not? He asked.
Because I don't want to miss out on everything. I realized how silly it sounded after I said it.
Like what? he asked confused.
Reading. Or watching TV. Or just simply being alone, I said.
You can do all of those things tomorrow he said. He was right- so off I went to sleepy town.

Ahhhh, alone time is my soul mate. I want to marry it. I need it to refuel. A couple of months ago I was reading something about introvert/extroverts. It said introverts need alone time to refuel and extroverts need the company of other people to refuel. Until that moment I have ALWAYS thought of myself as an extrovert. I was in sales. I like talking to people. I'm loud. I have no problem sharing all my secrets (duh).

But getting out of the sales environment, becoming a parent, and moving to a new town without knowing a soul has changed me deep in my fibers. I've started to discover who I am when I am absolutely myself. I started taking old myers-briggs personality tests and reading more about introverts. (If you want to take one CLICK HERE). Ah- ha! There were so many introverted qualities that described ME. Qualities I thought meant I was broken:  I frequently need alone time to reset. I find small talk cumbersome. Networking makes me feel like a phony. Downtime does NOT feel unproductive to me. I have a constant inner monologue.

The funny thing is- I also have many strong extroverted qualities and based on the day I've scored as both an introvert and an extrovert. I pivot right on the line of both. Today I am an ENFJ- you have to take the test to see what that means. It's helped me open my eyes to realize the importance of looking at myself without judgement. I'm so ready to label something I do as wrong or messed up instead of looking at myself with compassion and more importantly instead of focusing on what I'm good at- instead of looking at ways I am "flawed." So maybe I'm not comfortable in big groups of people- I am very comfortable in small intimate settings. There's always two sides to every situation. One doesn't have to be "good" while one is "bad." We are always looking to fix or change ourselves when we really are just right- exactly the way we are. 

Repeat after me: I am just perfect- exactly the way I am. 

Some scenes from today...

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These two have been inseparable lately. I used to chalk it up to that the times he was carrying food - but I noticed she's right by his side even when his hands are empty. She's my pain in the ass dog- but boy do I love her extra big when I see her right by his side.

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(Here they were over the weekend.)

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Smoothies before speech. Please note Parker's- "I haven't worn long pants since last Winter and my Mom is in denial that I grow so fast and didn't realize they were too short until they were already on so she rolled them up like this and now I look like a doofus" pants.

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My lunch today because of all the CRAP I ate over the weekend. Locals: Dog House Grill. Need I say more?

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Times two

ONE LAST THING. I received a message from Katie Driscoll asking for my and your help- She's Changing the Face of Beauty to include ALL people with Special Needs. Katie has already made huge strides but she won't settle until Special Needs advertising is main stream. She challenges all of us to make a video urging our favorite retailers to include people with all Super Powers. Check out our video! If you do one make sure you share and hashtag #changingthefaceofbeauty and #theellenshow 

Just another day in Paradise. Until we meet again my Friend. 

Much Love,


  1. I Love You! Repeating after you. I am just perfect- exactly the way I am.
    Thank You Friend! I needed that today! xoxo

  2. Amen! I just discovered that I am an introvert too! I worked in sales for years so I always thought of myself as an extrovert. My current position requires I do A LOT of small talk and 'be on' all the time (puke). Once I heard an introvert described as 'someone who is fueled by solitude' I realized why I was feeling so drained and tired all the time. I'm looking forward to career and lifestyle changes that support my awesome-introvertedness! Thanks for sharing your story, you help more people than you know :)

  3. Chrissy, I knew there was a deeper reason I love your writing-I'm an ENFJ as well! Although my E is borderline I and I frequently cross over the E/I line, too. Most who know me would never label me an introvert! But I wonder if it's something about motherhood that causes those of us who are borderline E/I to become more introverted. We just need to be alone to refuel and remember who we are. Thanks for always inspiring me and making me think!

  4. Alone time is my drug of choice. I have been ingrained in Myers-Briggs since I was in middle school because my best friend's mom was an expert in it. At first I tested extroverted but quickly discovered that I want an introvert who made reconciliations and acted like an extrovert. ANYWAY, I've known for 20 years that I'm an introvert (people rarely believe me though) but still felt like I felt things deeper, more severely, and took things more personally than anyone else I knew. A few months ago I read Susan Cain's book "Quiet" and it changed my life. It helped me feel way more comfortable in my own skin and I realized "oh, I don't feel things deeper, I feel things like an introvert!"- it helped me understand why I do, say, and feel some things and why my husband doesn't do, say, or feel those things. It's amazing and if you have time to read, pick it up!

  5. I too am extroverted at first glance, but I desperately crave alone time. I sometimes feel bad that I am rushing my kids off to bed so I can be alone to just do something mindless for a few minutes before going to bed myself. I was an avid runner until earlier this year and I preferred solo training to training with a group (although I LOVE big races, the bigger/noisier, the better). I crave friendship/connection, but I can't live without alone time in my life!

  6. J-Schmidty, you beat me to it! Chrissy, your blog is a thing of beauty -- for what you say and how you say it and your gorgeous photography. I have never commented before but as soon as I read this post I had to write to comment on "Quiet" by Susan Cain. I agree with J-S above. It was life-changing for me as well. Read it if you can And/OR Google Susan Cain TED talk Quiet and watch her TED talk. Such great insight! LisaToo