Wednesday, April 20, 2016

happiness in doses

What are you struggling with?

Maybe it's just life. Like all of it. Which is hard. Right? I mean even when it isn't- I know I sometimes make it hard. Sometimes emptying the dishwasher and making lunch first thing in the morning feels insurmountable. Mainly because I know as soon as it's done the chaos begins. The kids are up and no one wants to get dressed. The past couple of weeks Parker screams and kicks and fights off the clothes. My head grows big like a balloon and flies up into the air holding my anger and frustration in. I want to take a pin and pop my balloon head and scream.

But I don't. Usually. But that builds up.

Maybe you are struggling with your job. You can't yell at your job and force it to put its clothes on. People can really be inflexible, self-centered assholes sometimes. I don't get how some people are not hard wired to be kind or understanding or even polite.

Maybe it's your marriage. I've often said that marriage is harder than my hardest day of parenting. Not because he is bad or I am good, but because we are just really different. I'm expressive. He's not. I'm type A, he's not. I'm mostly introverted. He's mostly extroverted. Plus like 100 other things. This can leave us both feeling really misunderstood. Being misunderstood is the root of so much pain. I feel it. I see it in my sons. And that's hard, because you can not control other people. Grown ups or kids. And when someone doesn't understand you, you can't make them. You can make people DO things. You cannot however, make people FEEL things.

Only you. You can only make you do and feel things. So let's focus on that. YOU. ME. It's a start. Especially if life feels extra out of control. This has been my mantra this week: “Anything that happens to me today is in my best interest and it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.” Excerpt From: Medcalf, Joshua. Chop Wood Carry Water.

 photo _MG_0775_zpskjtbnai1.jpg

Happiness. It's not available for days, but it is available in doses. So I soak them up when they come. I try like mad to create them when they don't.

 photo _MG_0770_zpsxm1pemjq.jpg

 photo _MG_0765_zps9wfpavrm.jpg

 photo _MG_0694_zpstmlo3s8k.jpg

 photo _MG_0699_zpsdtpvzqcm.jpg

 photo _MG_0701_zpshi5ldjtx.jpg

 photo _MG_0692_zpsprj6b89x.jpg

 photo _MG_0754_zpsyfdacj6l.jpg

 photo _MG_0752_zpsqpemsaqj.jpg

Whatever you are stuggling with, I wish I had a magic wand to take it away. I will say that lately, I've been struggling too.  I can't whip out a magic wand, but I can share with you some words. A quote by Willa Cather..."There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in a storm."

Off to grab us some umbrellas.



  1. I have a grandson who is autistic and he is very special for all autistic children. He struggles every day with some things. But I have noticed that he trys an trys. Does he get upset and wants to tear things up because he is frustrated? Absolutely. I don't think we truly understand what they are going through. We may think we do all the time but opinion.... We don't. Autistic children are truly special.....I know my grandson is. I love you Alban Wood. Your gramps.

  2. Beautiful photos!! Always look forward to your blog postings.

  3. I just want to say thank you so much for your blog! It truly brightens my day each and every time I see your email in my inbox! My name is also Crissy, just different spelling... I have a 4 year old daughter, a 6 month old daughter, and 3 year old Autistic twin boys. Having two autistic children, like you, I completely understand and agree with your struggles and blessings! I look forward to following you guys as it gives me some hope and positive feelings to see others going through what my family experiences and knowing that we can find ways to cope and find beauty in our lives! Sincerely, Crissy!! :-)