Being a mom is the greatest...
The greatest love. The greatest pain. The greatest fear. The greatest joy.
Being a mom is eating broken chips and burned waffles. A half of a chicken nugget and three random fries. Its sleeping with one eye open for the rest of your life. It's wishing it was you that was sick instead of them. It's nails that are not always painted and hair with inches of roots. It's their favorite places turning into your own. It's a reminder to get dirty, to touch the earth, to notice the details, to take your time.
Scenes from the Fresno Chaffee Zoo today.
It is not a coincidence that mom is a wow upside down.
Wow this is amazing. Wow, this is hard. Wow, I'm not cut out for this. Wow, I don't even know what this is. Wow, I never knew life could be this good, this hard, this graceful, this chaotic.
Being a mom is so wow.
Being a mom is being happy when they are.Being a mom is getting excited to buy shoes, that aren't even for you. Being a mom is loving them bigger and stronger and better than you've ever loved anything or anyone before. Being a mom is a God and magic tsunami on earth. Being a mom is guilt and goodness, happiness and grief. Exhaustion and energy. Black and white with a million slivers of sparkling gray in between.
It's molding me into a better human than I ever could have been on my own. It challenges me in ways I've never experienced or expected, and fills me with a fear that is sometime paralyzing. When you are a mom, you can't quit or walk away from the hard thing, because it's not you that needs it- it's them. And they are worth any amount of uncomfortable the world may offer.
Being a mom is looking at the sun. It's so warm and bright and sometimes it's just too much. Being a mom is consistency, routine, crazy and unpredictable. But the love, the crazy magic filling gracious eye opening heart exploding love is always bigger than the fear. Than the grief. Than the pain of the unexpected. The love becomes your soul, your purpose, your breath, your everything.
The love is so wow.
When you sift it all together, at the end of the day, it turns into only love.
To all of you that are moms, to those that have lost moms, to those who are single moms, to those who had moms who weren't the stuff hallmark cards were made of- to my beautiful and amazing mom who has always been there when we needed her-
This one is for you.