Monday, February 8, 2010

Vegas...(without my) baby

On September 22, 2008 I found out you were coming into my life. Now you are 8 months old and we have been together every single day and every single night since that life altering remarkable day. Bliss. Even when it wasn't. How could I function going anywhere with out my heart?! I wouldn't dream of it!
Now here I sit on Monday at LAX, me and my heavy heart, without you. I see mommas with their babies, everywhere. Not. Fair. One part of me wants to hop in a cab and just come home. I imagine walking in the front door, "I'm home", I call out. "I just couldn't do it. I can't leave you." then the adult, stinking "practical" part of me says, go...let go. He will be alright. You may even get some more sleep at night. You don't have to leave him again if you don't want to after this trip.
I torture myself, imagining you waking up tonight, voice hoarse from your cold, crying and needing only one simple thing- to lie in the crook of my arm, snuggled up against me where you fit as if it was customized just for you. You always go silent with contentedness when dad places you in your nook, and the only remaining noise coming from you is an adorable repeated sigh that comes with each exhale. I miss you Grey. Friday can't come soon enough.

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