Saturday, March 19, 2011

Go. Do.

I saw that on a commercial today, and although I'd never usually quote or find inspiration from a dumb commercial...today I did...

It's easy to suck the marrow out of life when life is good. In fact, it's hard not to. Life and all its beauty is inspiring...energy-giving....lovely.... Yes, please, I'll take a cherry on that whipped cream. As far as sucking the marrow out when life is tough? Well, that's an adventure I struggle with. I am a quick fix girl- give me the problem- I'll stay up all night and figure it out. I'll clean it up, organize it, find it, buy it, make it, fix it until it is all good and perfect and shiny again. Age and life has taught me that I can't always do that and boy is that something I struggle with. I got some news last week. Not even for sure news, just maybe news. Baby P might need to come out a little early- for a reason that I would explain if I could-and I'll try--but it probably wont make much sense to you because it sure doesn't to me. His overall growth curve percentage has dropped. He is growing....he is bigger....he is fantastic...but 6 weeks ago he was growing at the 42% percentile, and now he is growing at a 28% percentile. It's a tough story for me to buy because it just sounds plain silly. Like someone somewhere made up some measurement system and then some formulas and then threw them together, called them something fancy, and was deemed smart.
On the flip side, in the baby growing world, there are no guarantees....no promises of health and perfection....so many unknowns....every little soul, whether lots bigger, or kind of bigger- is a miracle, and sometimes it's best to silence the confused voices in your head and just listen to the expertise of others...Either way, nothing we can do about it for 3 more weeks when they re-check his growth.
The news set me reeling and I have just started to dig my heals into the earth and begun to hold on again. There is one thing that I know doesn't help- ever. Sitting around and replaying scenarios in your head...thinking and re-thinking....sometimes I trick myself into thinking that these "thinking power sessions" are helpful- I say, they help me draw a conclusion and find peace in a story...help me be prepared for the best or worse case scenarios. Mostly they just make my brain and tummy hurt and it makes it hard to sleep at night.

When I can talk myself out of my slump-and get myself to Go....and Do.....I feel better. Today felt good and productive cuz I got to feel like I was working on my problem....Today was all about going and doing and eating down on good food to feed Baby P. Now that's a task in which the whole family can participate. Niiiiccceee...

Here he is today, at 34 1/2 weeks. Looks pretty big to me...
Photobucket


The day started out getting bagels. Delish...
Photobucket

They make a Red Velvet Bagel now. It was pretty darned good...
Photobucket

Lunch consisted of garlic knots, pizza and cinnamon sugar- deep-friend-dough-bombs.....

Then our favorite? Dessert. Especially at 4pm, just in time to ruin your dinner...
Photobucket



Daddy's pick. Vanilla-vanilla...
Photobucket

And a mini-cupcake, just for you. You could care less about the cake, but the icing?....More please....
Photobucket

And although I love me some baby blue, it's nice to have a little pink sometimes too.
Photobucket

Ok, so when Thoreau went to the woods to live deliberately...live deep and suck out the marrow of life, he probably wasn't talking about eating cupcakes.

But for us today, life was perfect the way it was. Unfigured out and all.


No comments:

Post a Comment