One thing I heard over and over again... "Chrissy, you are such a great Mom."
At first it was so nice to hear. I was truly humbled... Everyone wants to be a great mom. Everyone hopes to be a great mom. But then it kind of scared me...because I don't think any of us feels like we really measure up.
Your own personal best doesn't feel good enough. We strive for perfection, which I am learning can not be attained...so then we automatically feel like a failure. Mommas are so hard on themselves! When I went from a working out of the house mom- to a stay at home mom- I thought- "Now finally- I will have all my time to dedicate to my itty bitties and I won't feel like I am half as*ing everything in my life." Nope, I still feel like I fall short at times.
We don't hear, "You are a great Mom" that often. Kids don't always say it. I certainly never said it to my mom...In fact, I often shared the opposite sentiments with her. "I hate YOU! You never let me do ANYTHING I want!" (Sorry Mom. You are a great Mom and I learned how to Mom from watching YOU.) Our husbands may say it... But they have to...it's in their contract.
So then, I started to get paranoid. Like- clearly I wrote something- somewhere in this blog that was blatant subterfuge. I went back and re-read post, after post, after post- looking for my gross exaggerations of perfect parenting...of gourmet meals...spic and span house and constant sweet perfection...and all I saw was truth....and not just truth...but real, raw, flaw-filled imperfection and honesty. And friends, it was in that reality and that knowledge-- the reality that I am just a girl, loving my babies sumpthin' fierce, making mistakes along the way but doing the best I can, that made me realize...
That is what you connected with. Real and beautiful imperfection...and that is what you called "a Great Mom" and I bet that is exactly the kind of Mom you are too. You are out there, doing the best you can, on any given day. I want you to walk away from our time right here and now and feel empowered by that. Because by your standards and by mine, You are a great Mom too. And don't be afraid to toot your own horn about what you think makes you a great Mom (or Dad!) Focus MORE on that and LESS on your shortcomings! Go ahead! I want to hear it!
I'm a good Mom because I let my son play in the rain...
I'm a good Mom because I like to be silly...
And I found the perfect match in my handsome husband...
Even Jack the Dog got in on the action.
I'm a good Mom.... because I drink....
totally kidding. probably.
And if I may? One last request...Tell your mom friends that you admire that they are a great mom! Give 'em specifics..."I like the way you prepare such great meals for your family."
"You kids are so lucky because you are so spontaneous and fun." "I love how sweet and patient you are with your kids. I really admire that."
Because we really don't hear it enough.
I was introduced to your blog by a mutual friend. I am a mother of two, and also a mother with a son on the Spectrum. LOVE your "made up words" like Spectrumy or Spectrum Kid- as you said so much better than some of the other descriptions/titles out there! I admire your genuine honesty and clever humor describing the everyday struggles and rewards of motherhood! You have 2 beautiful boys:) Can't wait to read more
Hello! I am so glad we found each other then! Thank you for taking the time to make such sweet comments. Come back often and tell other Momma's about this joint! ;-)Delete
Kelly's, I am a childhood family friend of Michael's. I started reading your blog the other day, in my car, waiting for a store to open, taking advantage of my youngest being in school for a couple of hours, and I was hooked. And needless to say, I barely made it home in time to pick her up. This is a beautiful story and I look forward to your new entries. Thank you so very much for sharing.ReplyDelete
Real and beautiful imperfection you are. Thank you for being one of the most beautiful amazing gift in my life, your friendship and sense of humor has me chuckle on my quiet runs and long drives to Las Vegas. You are the world's best mom because you are perfectly imperfect. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU and your wonderful family.ReplyDelete
PS, I am sobbing because i feel so lucky you are in my life and you are my inspiration as a mom and a dear friend.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and for sharing! We are changing the World!ReplyDelete