Sunday, March 25, 2012

Beauty Full

The older I get the more I work to mold and change my definition of beautiful. When you are a Mother or a Father you also have an amazing and awesome responsibility to define beauty for your bitty boys or girls. We are their first teachers. That really makes me think twice--Is the way I define beauty the way I want my boys to define beauty? I don't want them to have a rigid definition of beauty and so I work to change mine. I don't want them to define it only as perfection found in some combination of long and thick smooth hair, a flat tummy, creamy flawless skin, white perfect teeth, 5 lbs underweight and dressed to perfection.


Photobucket
I think a round tummy is so so so much more beautiful than a flat one these days...

Photobucket
And here is Parker and Me...and not a sit up in sight. I didn't feel it at the time but now I look and I think "Beautiful".

I remember coming into my 30's....excited...I had read about so many others before me who "came into themselves" at 30. I thought perhaps I would blow out those 30 candles on my cake and have a sudden peace with what is. I would appreciate my strong features instead of wishing I had my sister's cute and tiny nose. I would stop going for highlights to achieve the perfect blond every 5 weeks.

I would suddenly love my little puppet mouth and stop wishing for Angelia Jolie-like lips. I would stop basing my mood on a number on a scale or on the tightness of my going-out jeans. I heard that a woman gets to a certain age and must sacrifice her face or her ass, so I was going to try like mad to keep both of those in check. And when you live in Southern Calfornia, you have many many resources to buy "beautiful".

Photobucket
Now that I have a mini-puppet mouth, my own little lips don't bother me nearly as much...On Parker, they are beautiful! He is rocking a puppet mouth and teaching me about "beautiful" too.

I wish I could tell you I've come into a Budda-Zen-like peace with my conception of beauty now that I've reached the ripe and succulent age of 38....I haven't....but I want to...and so I try. I think it's only natural to have a preconceived notion of what we consider beautiful. The problems lies when our own personal ideal of beauty and the girl (or boy) in the mirror don't line up. I'd like to say I blame it on magazines and TV shows- projecting an unrealistic ideal of standardized beauty...but I buy those magazines and I watch those shows... So I must acknowledge these feelings and if I am not OK with them, I must change the way I feel or the way I think. Sometimes I have to turn myself inside out and give me a good shake to see if there are any bad feelings hanging on to a corner inside.


I can honestly say my definition of beautiful has evolved...It has molded and changed.... I want to continue to break the mold I created for "beautiful" in my mind. I threw away my scale many years ago and I still don't own one, never will. I no longer get my hair done every 5 weeks and subsequently no longer worship on the alter of blond. Currently it's been 9 weeks, and my appointment still isn't for one more.
Photobucket
I'm being honest when I say I'd much rather be home with them, than sitting alone for a few hours in a chair every 5 weeks. Check out those roots!

Photobucket
Blond, but I didn't have "more fun" then...it was just a different kind of fun!

Due to long lag time between appointments, I realized last year that this Momma has some Gray... I thought you had to be like 68 for Gray hair... 38 is practically a baby!! (right?! someone?) When I first saw them growing in I would sit on my bathroom vanity, pressed up against the mirror examing their growth with a forensic like intensity. My eyes would cross as I would try to pluck the offenders out. Now I've decided denial is perfectly acceptable in this case and I no longer have the inclination or the time for such intense exam. I'd rather use that time to sleep instead of scour.

I find strength breath-taking.... I find happiness striking...I find humor alluring...

Photobucket
Even a ridiculous laugh out loud face like this is "beautiful" to me.

I find intelligence and passion stunning...

Photobucket
People who are passionate about what they do are beautiful- Like Teacher Amy. If you ever have any questions about your child's speech or development, email Teacher Amy. She wants to hear from you. She told me! thetalkteam@hotmail.com

I find real and honest and raw to be exquisite.

I know I am more accepting of others than I am of myself. I think many women are. We find our friends beautiful, but sometimes scowl at our own reflection and physical attributes. I love bearing witness to a character building crooked tooth, a strong nose, a gray streak or a curvy figure.

Don't waste your pretty wishing you were taller, skinnier, blonder, curvier, younger or anything else other than who you are.

Photobucket
I feel the most beautiful right after a run, or when I am looking at them...

Photobucket
Other Momma's holding and loving on my babies is so heart-clapping beautiful.

Photobucket
And bubbles and carefree and happy and cupcake hats are certainly beautiful in my book.

Photobucket
The way only a Momma can gaze at her child is the most beautiful thing I think I've witnessed.

How do you define beautiful? I want to hear from you. kellyc43@hotmail.com or find me on Facebook.

6 comments:

  1. Totally agree Chrissy! I have to admit...it took being blessed with my babies, and maybe the 30 mark, to feel truly beautiful in my own skin. I love that I run and exercise now because it's my passion, my release, and makes me a healthier and energetic mom for my kids! And, I love that I was called "old lady" by a 19 yr. old in the park the other day...it made me laugh and I felt sorry for her. I've had my days in the past where this would have been hard for me and I would have tried to find ways to make myself look "younger". Now, I really don't care...I'm happy with me and I know those bags under my eyes are not because I'm looking "old", there because I haven't slept through the night in a very long time because of my beautiful babies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you SHOULD be happy with you! It's hard to accept what is sometimes....I truly think happiness is the best beautiful money can buy. I am always working to see the girl in the mirror and think- "Gurl, you still got it!" Sometimes a night out and some sassy jeans and shoes works wonders!
      XOXO

      Delete
  2. chrissy- Thank you for the reminder! I have always thought you are a beautiful person both outside and, more importantly, inside. Working in the beauty biz can really skew your sense of what is "real" beauty because there is a constant struggle to achieve some sort of perfection. I see it everyday and it is exhausting I must say. What you say is true about being able to see the beauty in others more than ourselves. It's too bad we can't see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us most...right? Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and I'm so glad that you are pointing your boys in the right direction. It's a lesson we could all learn.
    P.S.- I'm ashamed to admit how many hair stylists I have tried in the last year on my quest to that so-called perfect hair color ;)
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Aaron, you are quite missable! Just today I was so so so missing my dermatologist in Torrance. There was such a frenzy there- botox, "juvie", fillers, lasers and wands...you know....people trying like mad to get it all done...being around it does make it SO EASY to forget how expensive and stupid it is when it is overboard!
      Perfection and beauty is so much more about acceptance and confidence. Too bad confidence doesn't come in a pill!

      Delete
  3. Oh, 38 is such a wonderful age! I didn't appreciate it enough! Feeling good about yourself approaching or maybe I should say leaving the 50's is sort of hard. Suddenly those aging things are impossible to miss unless you take your glasses off :).
    I am working on trying not to focus so much on me. Because in my mind, I'm still just a girl.

    You are beautiful and your children are breathtaking.....your wedding was so gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so sweet! Thanks for reminding me that 38 is an awesome age to be. I imagine almost-not-59 looks pretty darn good on you friend. I know what you mean- you still feel like just a young girl. I think sometimes it's good to feel that way. Thank you for writing!

      Delete