life with greyson + parker: Fancy

There are gusts of wind blowing through the Central Valley of California at over 20 miles per hour this evening.

It was the kind of day that makes me happy to be stuck inside.

Clearly these wind storms blew a big gush of stupid my way.

I decided yesterday to take on a new full time job. My title? Restroom Attendant. I didn't hand out mints or loan out hair spray....I sat at the foot of the toilet and waited for the flow...time and time and time and time again.

Nothing like potty training to make you realize how dirty your bathroom floor is.

I am happy to announce, that at approximately 3pm this afternoon I resigned from my aforementioned position....(Future Greyson...I'm sorry to put pictures of you on the pot out in public. My reader friends promise to never mention it to your Future Girlfriend.)

A couple of months ago, Greyson started to occasionally become aware of the fact that he was going pee pee. This is the only sign of readiness that he had shown, but it got us thinking that maybe it was time for potty training. During his monthly status meeting with the school psychologist I mentioned this and she suggested that we go for it and sent me some potty charts. Yesterday I decided that it was a good time to just go for it. At first I just wanted to introduce him to the concept so we sat on the pot a few times.

It was fun. We ate some candy. We hung out.

Today I decided to get a little more hard core. We printed out the potty charts and we checked every 30 minutes.

I had to set a timer because I couldn't remember without it.

He got marshmallows just for sitting on the pot, so at first, it was no problem. Can you tell he put his own shoes on?

We both sat in the bathroom, we ate marshmallows...and skittles...we counted things...I read him books...The third time we even struck liquid gold. It pretty much was downhill after that. Potty training a Spectrum kid is 212% harder than the already difficult task of potty training a Neurotypical child, according to a true fact I made up to prove my point.

Some Spectrum kids aren't encouraged by verbal praise, and that is true for Greyson. It was one of those "off things" that I couldn't describe to others when they asked how he was different before I knew he was on the Spectrum. When I praise Typical kids- "Great job coloring! What a pretty picture!" they look at me and beam...when I praise Greyson- he could care less.

Hmmm...so the "Yeah! You went pee pee on the toilet!" fun and hoopla we did didn't motivate him at all. He didn't even notice or care that he had even gone pee...he didn't care that I gave him extra candy- he just wanted to get off the pot. 30 minutes turned into every 20 minutes because I was missing his window on more than one occassion.

Each time I would bring him into the bathroom to try again it got harder and harder....the last time he was screaming and kicking and swatting at my face with all his might. Since I have a Spectrum kid, I am fluent in Tantrum. I know that you are not allowed to let a child have his way from causing a Tantrum; that would be reinforcing that behavior. I also know that Tantrums are one of Grey's way of communicating- they are not the right way, and so we work to turn those outbursts into language opportunities. But as time progressed, I started to think, "I don't care if he is capable and ready for this... I am not... Then I started to really think about it...Let's just say he wasn't fighting me to even go into the bathroom- how was he going to quickly and efficiently tell me, "I have to go potty" if he barely talks?

I wanted to quit so badly... But I thought of the quote... "When slaying a dragon, you don't stop when you are tired...you stop when the Dragon is tired." And so although I was tired, I kept at it...

Michael came home at lunch and I lost it. I did that crying, high pitched, "If you had to do what I have been doing all day- for even 5 MINUTES, YOU WOULD GO CRAZY! YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THIS! " act. Oh come on, you've been there- right?! Funny now....not at all -at that time!

I was so discouraged...and by the time we went to see Teacher Amy late in the afternoon, I was beyond frazzled. Poor girl...I was throwing F bombs (For purposes of this post we will say "Fairy Princesses") left and right...

"I can handle hard work...I don't quit things...but I don't think I can do this! He barely notices ME, when I walk in the room, even if I were to dress up like a Fairy Princess CLOWN! , how am I supposed to Fairy Princess get him to be aware of his bodily functions? He barely even Fairy Princess talks! How is he going to Fairy Princess tell me he has to go in the first place?"

And of course Teacher Amy made it all better. She said all the right things... (It may be that he just isn't ready, and that's OK! He's not even 3. Wait until it gets warmer out and you can let him run around naked outside so he can learn to be more aware. He has a lot going on, and so do you..and so on).

So I have taken "Potty Training" and I have placed it into a airtight box, and I have put it high up on a shelf for at least a couple of months. (If you have potty trained a boy spectrum kid, share your story with me...age...details...email me kellyc43@gmail.com or Friend me on Facebook. Or contact me if you just want to say hi!)

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As I've mentioned before, I am more casual than fancy. More comfortable than put together. I went to a Baby Shower on Saturday and it required a hat and it required fancy. And guess what?! I LOVED it! I felt so fancy and I felt FABULOUS! I decided that needed a little extra FANCY on Monday to kick start the week.