Monday, April 2, 2012

What is real?

While on a run over the weekend, I realized I was mouth wide-open, bug could fly in any second -out loud smiling. The weather was perfect and we already had such a great weekend and it wasn't even over yet.

Smiling thinking about this....

Or this... 

And this...He's still too young for a big bike, but some nice friends let him zoom around and he loved it! He was concentrating so hard.

The husband figure, Michael is back home....just like we like it.

Michael and I frequently tease each other. Over the weekend I was calling him my teenaged son from my first marriage....

Doesn't he look like it here?

Sometimes I have to work at waking him up in the morning...and he yells at me, like,
"What do you want?! I'm SLEEPING!" like I'm ruining his good time ...

And he almost always puts his dishes in the sink, NOT THE DISHWASHER!!! ...
And it drives me INSANE...

(if you want to hear what I do that drives him nuts, you'll have to read his blog...Opps, he doesn't have one, I'm perfect.)

But he also brings me Starbucks all the time...and frozen yogurt-like pretty much whenever I want it- which is all the time.

Chocolate and peanut butter (or cheesecake) cures all that ails ya.

He hung with the Bitties while I got my hair done this weekend.

He is totally the most loving and wonderful dad. My family loved him from the moment they met him. In fact, I think my parents may love him more than they love me. My Mom is always amazed by all that he does.

(in a completely Midwest, "highway farty far" accent)...

Wow, Chrissy, that's FANTASTIC! He changes diapers?! Your Father never changed diapers.

I can't believe he is folding laundry! Your Father never folded laundry.

Now, in my opinion, if you are a dad, you sure as hell better change diapers and help out, but apparently in the 1970's this wasn't the norm. (It's OK Dad, I still love you).

When Michael and I got married, we included a passage from the story, The Velveteen Rabbit during the ceremony. As an adult, when I read those words it felt like that tale released bubbles that floated down to nestle in a comfortable nook inside my soul. They spoke to me and I listened. It was first published in 1922, but the message is timeless.

I had no idea at the time just how real the message would would continue to be in my life...Even more so now, years later.

What is REAL? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle? 

Real isn't how you are made, said the Skin Horse. It's a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.

Does it hurt? asked the Rabbit.

Sometimes, said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.

Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,
he asked, or bit by bit?

It doesn't happen all at once, said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand...once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.

I look down now to see faint sun spots appearing on my skin...

Sometimes I get sad when I see...
Things that used to be up...going down...
Things that used to be smooth, getting lined...
Things that used to be firm, getting soft....

The gifts I want to leave this World are certainly deeper than skin, so I work at accepting more real into my life. I'm learning...The things I mention will not make me ugly to the people I love... but it's not them I'm worried about accepting's me...

Youth is beautiful...but young... unseasoned.
Growing up is natural...It's beautiful. It doesn't rely on perfection or mass appeal. 

I'm learning to be real. I'm teaching my boys to be real. I want to be a real wife, mother, daughter, sister and person.

Are you learning too?

Today, April 2nd is Autism Awareness Day! When you are a Mother to a child with Autism every day is Autism Awareness day though. Thanks for stopping by.


  1. I always loved that part of the story, too! I think real is the only way to be! :) Sweet pics!

  2. I feel the same way about my hubby!!! I love him to pieces, but seriously, dishes in the sink! I mean, the dishwasher is just inches...really...inches...away. Thanks for your words. We're wearing blue today!

  3. Oh, yes, sigh.....back in the 1970 things were very different! I'm often shocked to see how much dads do! It's a good thing! It is hard getting to real, but oh, so worth it!

  4. My mom told me when I married my husband that if we were ever to divorce....she was keeping HIM!!!! lol Here's to husbands who rock but most importantly, are awesome dads. I have one that changes diapers too....and cannot put dishes away in the right spot but hey, its the thought that counts. In my house its called "good enough". I had to come up with a name for it or I would go nuts. He too likes the sink not the dishwasher but he brings me Reese's all the time. :)

  5. I take my previous comment from conversations with God back... this one is now my favorite. :)

  6. thanks for the reminder!

  7. i love your posts! Thanks for writing!

  8. Ah, Chrissy. Thank you! I needed this today.
    xoxo Nancy