Beautiful Day

My Son Greyson has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. He is my Spectrum Kid. Autism affects 3 main areas of his development... How he communicates, how he learns and how he interacts with others. Despite the fact that much of our day to day schedule involves some kind of therapy, the fact that he is on the Spectrum is just one tiny cog in our whole big World. You can see that in my blog. Autism is not everything I talk about. It is not all I focus on. It is not my passion. Greyson is my passion.  Helping Greyson is my passion. Teaching Greyson is my passion. Autism is not. 

Today involved all kinds of extra Spectrumy goodness. Grey's 3rd birthday is fast approaching, so he is being assessed by the School District for the possible placement in a school that will be appropriate for his development. Part of the assessment includes the administration of the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule- ADOS. It's an instrument for diagnosing and assessing Autism used by the school district where an examiner provides a series of opportunities for the subject to show social and communication behaviors relevant to the diagnosis of Autism. Since every child with Autism is so completely different from the next, they need to see the child in action in order to properly assess them. 

The best part of this test? Hmmm...There were many... Grey got to play...Mom got to be there, which always makes me happy...and the women who conducted the test are passionate about what they do and it shows... My little dude did so good. It reminded me of how far we have come... Grey's all day therapy (ABA- Applied Behavior Analysis) in part teaches him how to play. It doesn't come naturally to him. He doesn't grab and car and have it make noises (vroom vroom!) while it drives around the room... 

He would rather line cars up, or turn them over and examine them with intensity... touch the wheels... open and close the doors. But slowly- appropriate behavior can be taught to a kid like Grey...and he has been learning fast...and one day it will just come naturally. 

Afterwards we played outside on the playground at the school... He knows how to do that all on his own and I don't take that for granted.

Today wasn't scary at all...but some of the stuff we go through is scary to me...and luckily it's usually fun to him... kind of like this slide... It scared the junk out of me. I slammed my tush on the big plastic bump- and I thought I was going to fly off.... and then I looked at this picture and saw....he was having fun...smiling.... He teaches me that scary doesn't have to be scary- when it is actually fun....

One of Greyson's current programs in ABA is called "Social Questions". It's the only program that we've had to previously quit because after three days of attempts- it still wasn't clicking. Once upon a time Greyson couldn't speak at all... slowly through speech therapy he began to realize the power of language- and he began to realize that language gets him stuff he wants (reinforcers). He realized, "I just need my mouth to make that same sound her mouth just made and then I will get that awesome and shiny car." And so he started to repeat what he needed to- in order to get what he wanted... Well, he has learned that quite well, and often times he just repeats the last thing we say. Sometimes it's frustrating... Sometimes it's funny. There will be times Greyson will start to have a tantrum out of frustration...and I will tell him, "You need to tell me what you want...Use words" and he will say, "Words"...and I will say, "Greyson- you need to talk" and so he says, "Talk". And the sweet part is that he isn't trying to be ornery- he thinks that's what he is supposed to be saying... So I will then "prompt" him... "Greyson, Tell me, I.... Want...." and then he will remember- oh yeah! I want something -and he will say, "I want Car!" (or pretzels, or bubbles or whatever he was wanting in the first place.)

If I say to Greyson, "Say Grey" he will say "Grey" (which he prounces as "Day" because he can't say G's). But, for Social Questions, although it is modeled properly for him. "What is your name?" (teacher touches his chest and says, "Grey" FORGET about saying "Greyson" for now! )... Greyson is still saying, "Name". We are on day 4 of this and it isn't working, yet I know he is capable...(so of course I sent Teacher Amy the Speech Therapist an email asking her what she suggested. She came up with a detailed plan and it seems to be working! I will keep you posted. In order for something to be "mastered" Greyson needs to have 80% consistency on all attempts over a 3 days period.)

But this of course got me thinking...My boy doesn't know his "label" ...his name... How does he think of himself- if at all? Think about how often we think of ourselves.... not in a selfish way...but in a judging way...we think of what we "should" be...feeling...thinking...doing..We label ourselves with some not nice words too..., overweight, lazy, unequipped, moody...We label ourselves by so much more than our name...some of it going back so many years...there are times I still feel like that insecure highschooler that wore a back brace. No, I'm not kidding!! Oh man, the pain of that...braces on my teeth and on my back.... !!! And on top of that, everyone at my school drove nice cars and my parents gave me a 1973 green Maverick and I simply thought I was going to die. I would drive to school at 6:30am so no one saw me driving that duck-taped beast. I parked far away where all the nuns parked their cars because they all had Hoopty cars too. (apparently God doesn't pay very well). My Senior year we moved and I went to a new school, and suddenly I was a whole new girl. I no longer had my braces or wore a back brace. I no longer held myself back. Lots of the kids drove crappy cars. They even thought my car was cool! Kids would ask me if they could go smoke pot in it during lunch it was so cool! (Don't worry- I didn't let them). I can't tell you how freeing that was- starting over with no self-imposed labels...it was my best year of highschool and a great learning experience.

Motherhood has taught me to forgive my imperfections...or at least work on forgetting about them... I don't want to teach my boys to label themselves and to judge themselves harshly... therefore, I can't show them by example... 

Tonight while on a run I realized we had a Magical gift practically right in our very own back yard.... I love living in new construction.

Here she is. Isn't she a BEAUTY!??? I bet she could tell some stories.

I ran home with an extra pep in my step to scoop up all three of my boys and go back.

See the lens flair by his left elbow...when that happens I feel like magic got captured in the picture.

Greyson liked it so much he did car wash hair. Back and forth. Swish-swish.

Some days are hard...and some are easy...mostly because of how I choose to label them.


Today was good.



Cheers, my friend. That tiny little faint white circle is the moon. Photographs never ever do it justice. I'm glad we are sleeping under the same moon tonight.