Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Yes or No

As a little girl I remember my Dad telling me about the 1979 Harvard MBA Study. Interviewers asked graduates about their goals. Of the graduates, 84% had no goals, 13% had goals-but only in their head, and 3% had clear, written goals and plans to accomplish them. Ten years later these students were interviewed again. The 13% with goals not committed to paper were earning twice as much as the 84% who had no goals at all. And the 3% with clear, written goals- were earning ten times as much at the other 97% put together. Pretty amazing-right?

I think you and I should challenge each other to write down our goals that we plan on accomplishing in the next year. I say we be the 3%.

For practice, I wrote down a very important goal I had today...It meant alot to me and those around me.

I'm happy to report I accomplished 100% of my goal late this morning. 

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier then...in the 50's...having less choices...
To career or not to career...Clear cut Yes's or No's...Hobbies...Friends...Staying at home with the kiddos...it was kind of already decided for you. The female- in charge of nesting and creating an ideal home environment. ..and the man- the provider...

I can almost picture myself in the kitchen...apron on, preparing dinner (I was a good cook in the 1950's)... An awesome retro dress and updo...taking a long pull from my Lucky Strike....Michael's Bourbon already poured and waiting near the front door. A simplified life.

I'm sure there would be a part of me that would always wonder -what if...what if I had been allowed to work? What if I had been born a man and was the provider? I would have devised ways to Housewife and Friend-in an entrepreneurial type way. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just receive your life on a nice little standardized typed piece of thick card stock...

Congratulations! This is your life...
You will marry at the age of: 28
You will have: {2} children
and {1} {bird}
Your occupation will be: Teacher
You will die at the age of: 83

If you have any questions or concerns, Please call your Life Counselor Monday through Friday from 8:30am until 5pm, PST. 

I was joking with Liv our amazing babysitter leaving for college soon...I told her, College is so overrated. Don't go. Look where it got me...I'm a housewife!

I never would have realized it in my younger years...but I think this life really was custom picked for me. I have no regrets...If I had to do it over- of course I would have gone to College (University for my European friends!) again...I think the subjects called Life Experiences and How to handle tough-are the best lessons learned outside the classroom while in college- and are just as important as the academics.

Yes or No...

We are trying to teach Grey to say Yes... His mouth knows how to say it, Yeh-suh...but doesn't know when to say it...I'll ask him if he wants something- Let's say an apple...if he doesn't want it-he says, NO....and if he does....he sits there silent....and if I go to put the apple away he just starts to scream and yell...
Other kids learn yes and no through natural situations in their environment. Applied Behavioral Analysis--(ABA) Therapy is a way of teaching using a structured environment where conditions are optimized so Spectrum kids can learn the same skills. So in an awesome ABA-like way... Grey is getting more opportunities to practice this skill- which will then be generalized into real World settings.


And as I was bagging the items, there was part of me that thought- I really shouldn't reinforce his hatred for vegetables...But then I said- Screw it. I'd rather him understand yes in a way that will make the most sense to him.

 Greyson- Do you want a green bean? {No! -he has no problem with that one}.

 Greyson- Do you want a white star candy? { He then will say, I want star- because that's the way he currently knows how to get something- but then the teacher or I will say- Greyson- say Yes. }And so he will repeat the word Yes after we model it for him.

And sometimes it takes days or weeks or even months before that sweet little light bulb turns on... and he finally gets it.
But tonight.. he went into the pantry for a snack... He was pointing and I was grabbing... he was getting increasingly frustrated and I didn't know what he wanted... He said I want cookies- but there were eleventy hundred kinds in there... so I said - This one? This one? This one? {grabbing different Greyson-friendly options-knowing he at least could tell me No} But all of the sudden- when I presented one of the choices- he said, Yes...

OHMYGOSH... I yelled out to Michael. He said Yes!!! 
I wish I could explain that feeling of instant fireworks...after you wait for so so so long in between...just writing about it makes my eyes well up with happy.

And it's that kind of stuff...that makes it all worth it.


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kellyc43@gmail.com or on Facebook


  1. Oh, you precious mama! I have now cried twice this morning and it's only 6:45 am! You people have to stop killing me! I pray lightbulb after lightbulb continue to go off for Greyson!

  2. Ahh, yes, when the lightbulb goes on. Those are THE BEST moments. It's like a reassurance that he is in there somewhere and you are getting through to him. So cool!! What a nice thing to hear to start the day. I pray for many more moments like that for you. I know how it feels and it...is...awesome!!!

  3. you probably have heard the song, "blessings" by laura story. your blog reminds me of this song, "what if the trials of this life are blessings in disguise?" you have truly discovered God's purpose for your life and i am thankful that you share your discoveries with us! May God bless your family with many more joyous lightbulbs!!

  4. Yay Greyson!!!! What a wonderful light bulb moment you (and he) just had. So happy for both of you:)

  5. YES!!!!!! That is so awesome!!!!!!