UBUNTU

Do you know this kid? The one that teaches me patience? That life is good and that people care?




I'm pretty sure the devil paid him in fruit snacks to torture me today.

Today he barely spoke...There was mostly grunting and screaming UGHH! UGHH! UGHHH! UGHHH! Like a caveman every time he needed something. Every. Time. Grrrrr.


Maybe he was mad because of his wardrobe malfunction at school today.




He fell in the mud during recess and had no back up clothes- so his Teacher improvised with these bad boys- which were a bit on the big side- hence the duck tape. Hilarious.




Maybe he was mad because he had to wake up from his nap for more Therapy.







And tonight at the very beginning of our family walk- and just a few seconds after my husband took this (blurry) picture- Greyson decided he didn't want to be in the stroller anymore- so he just dove out...falling onto the street and causing Parker to literally flip heals over head and hit the asphalt in front of me. It was a crying explosion. I wanted to go all Glen Close psycho right there on the street in front of the neighbors and scream at Greyson for not saying a thing to me- like off or stop or something... But I just grabbed my sobbing Parker close to my chest and ran like mad for our front door.

I have never been so angry with Greyson in my life...and in those moments- instead of thinking-
Wow! This moment is tough...

I thought... My life sucks...Greyson is too fricking hard to handle... I'm sick of the screaming and yelling and tantrums and him not talking and having to watch Yo Gabba Gabba all the time...This sucks, this sucks, this sucks...

I draw the line when my Doodle gets hurt...It sucked the rational out of my brain. My innocent go with the flow itty bitty bird.






Doesn't this face make you laugh?

And now I am chatting with you and taking deep breaths...

In....

Out....

You try it too... Seriously...

In...Out...

And I am removing my exaggerated emotion....and examining...

Because getting frustrated (that he's been talking less and screaming more and regressing) doesn't help him...and it certainly doesn't help me...

And examining the details- it helps me see that Greyson has actually been really out of sorts since about a week after school started...and I am realizing I need to give more understanding and appreciation for how big of a change this has been for him. Like World flipped upside down big. Like if I put strawberry jelly on his PB & J instead of grape- it might be a thing that took him a few days to get used to...But now- every single thing about his day has changed- Every activity- every person he is around- every Teacher is new. And that's a big deal to a Typical kid and a HUGE deal to a spectrum kid...

And instead of being so angry with him and feeling sorry for me...I will be his Mother...
I will love and accept him unconditionally...And I will trust my gut instinct while examining his routine to see if there are places we need to welcome change...

I will take our downs as nothing more than moments... When he is sad and frustrated, I am sad and frustrated. It's time I make us better.

I saw this and it touched me- because it's what family means to me...
And so I will live it in thoughts and in actions.




I am because we are friend. Ain't that the truth.