for the love

If you want to see Michael and I instantly bicker in public- ask him how often goes out of town for work... We could be at a crowded dinner party and suddenly I have werewolf hearing all the way across the room...

About 6 nights a month... Is his standard answer...every time.

Which drives me so insane that I can't even pretend to be calm and polite and not crazy...
6 NIGHTS!? I mutter through clenched teeth... SO. NOT. TRUE... It's more like 12... I say louder... and then we go back and forth and argue about the details...

When Michael is gone I feel like I'm on the show, Survivor...but instead of some 3rd World Country- I have to survive in Suburbia...with a 3 and 1 year old...

I eat like a 14 year old boy...



Tonight's dinner? Half a bag of Tostitos and some Skinny Cow Chocolate... I just can't bring myself to even reheat leftovers sometimes...

Last week plus this week alone it's already been 5 nights.. 7200 minutes.

Give the lady some credit for each hour she makes it through... Feel free to break it into minutes too--because it sounds bigger...

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Tonight I am getting back in touch with writing for the LOVE...

Not the LIKE.... I am competitive, I am obsessive...sometimes- yes, even immature... and since it was born, I have been checking the Life With Greyson + Parker Facebook page 4,973 times a day...Hoping to get new Fans... and I compete with myself and I compare... Which is so lame because I'm 39 years old... I rate my writing and even my very own thoughts in my brain based on how many shares and new LIKES to the page I get... Which makes me feel happy and giddy and productive... and stupid and worthless and immature... on days that I don't get many new LIKES... Like today...


And I realized tonight that all I need to do is write from my heart...because I love it... I will get more new Friends for the right reasons... Because it's not about mass appeal... It's about each and every single one of you. I don't need LIKES to make my ego feel good... I'm gonna quit chasing perfect.

So, starting tomorrow, I will not give into the obsessive beast that is Facebook...I will not repeatedly fluff its pillows...Instead, I will remember why this all began in the first place... We are changing our hearts and our souls to accept our best every live long day... We are realizing just how darn good our imperfect Life already is...We are accepting different in ourselves and in others... We are doing our bit to Change the World, friend...

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Before I used to see things such as Speech Therapy, school visits, school Psych meetings, Dr. appointments and Behavior Therapy as stuff that fully got in the way of me just trying to be a Mom... I wanted to be at the Zoo or playing with Friends or at the grocery store instead...

Now I realize that they are actually the greatest opportunities to Mom in the real-est type of way... Real Mom'ing is often done in the absence of perfection... it's choosing strength when we feel weak...It's reassuring them when we need reassurance too... It's being positive when it feels like the World is falling in... Mom'ing is much more concrete and vibrant when they struggle, when we have true opportunities to be needed...when they are sick or misbehaving or sad or in trouble or in need...

I'm a Mom...whatever it is- it's my job...

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When I used to work I wondered what the Hell stay at home moms did all day...

Not that I am one- I still have no fricking clue what I do all day...

Sorry I can't clear that up for you

This happened somewhere near the morning...

What- You don't like 30 degree walks?

In the afternoon after we picked Grey up from school we went to a park nearby...

On the way to the park, I drove past the apartments we moved into when we first came to Fresno. We still owned our home by the beach and wanted something temporary... We moved into an apartment and we were willing to live off Love...until we realized it was much easier to live off square footage so we moved to the home we live in today... Selling our Beach home and all that complicated stuff in between? It all worked out... It always does, Friend.

Thick nostalgia greeted me when I drove past the apartments... we only lived there for 3 months- yet there are so many memories... Greyson's first steps... a positive pregnancy test now called Parker... Magic...even when it wasn't... Regular old Life...


Where's DOODLE?





Parker thought the swing was the greatest invention yet... I wish you could hear the scared and excited  little gasp he made each time I would push him...







Ready...Set...Go




Hope Wednesday goes easy on you...

Love,
Chrissy