great expectations

I think much of our disappointment in Life comes from expectations... 

How we hoped it would go. What we assumed it would look like. What we believed we'd look like...What we thought Life would feel like. And not just our own expectations--But also how we believe they should act or treat us or feel about us...

How can we remain hopeful for the future while simultaneously letting go of expectations? Accepting what is- as if it were a gift from the Universe created exactly for us...That's what Life is - you know...

I remember being in Speech Therapy with Greyson...Parker was 12 months at the time...I suddenly just started crying and couldn't stop...scared shitless I was going to have to go through all of this again with Parker...I wanted Parker to talk so badly... Just to wake up one morning and start talking in sentences...or even just a couple of words... I couldn't imagine sitting through speech with one more child...not because of the time commitment...but because of the commitment of my heart...The agony that can come with a Life different than expected...

Like I've said before, the worrying about the thing is so much worse than conquering the actual thing...my kid doesn't talk. Oh well. Yes, it sucks...yes, I expected they would be... Oh well...the more I focus on what isn't- the less I can focus on who they are and what they can do... 


Today a perfect storm settled...The sun shined so bright and warm and alive...Today things grew from the light of the sun...not from pain... Today held a special absence of sadness... Today was even shaking with grateful...

Today I wasn't afraid to Love my sweet Little Parker utterly and completely...His face has to be chapped from all my kisses...Today I felt like he was just swaddled and placed in my arms- my new born babe...I was crazy, mad, obsessed in Love...giddy from watching him discover the World...





Today I remembered that Love is always stronger than fear...Happiness is always stronger than sad... Calm is more concrete than chaos...And strength is something that sometimes hides- but never ever goes away...


After dropping Greyson off at school, Parker and I went to Woodward park to run... 



Something about my particular brand of crazy must be pounded out on real old fashioned honest to goodness pavement...Sneaker to road...and is best done in the company of my bitty in the grand old outdoors...Yep- God's Gym...It never closes, it's beautiful, and no one hits on you... Score...I'll run in the outdoors versus a treadmill any day of the year...And luckily in California the weather is mild- so that's usually an option...








And after hitting the grocery and book store- we headed home to enjoy the sun...




Every so slowly- yet quickly all at once --he is growing more into a toddler and less baby...Luckily he still has those thighs...




Today at least 100 times I asked myself- How did I get so lucky? 




Greyson has opened my eyes to so much beauty in the World... Not everybody has the opportunity to see that in action...to feel it...I never expected that part of it all..The beauty that comes from the truly unconditional Love that Greyson- and yes- even Autism has taught me...



Not all expectations are let downs...




And some are downright fricking amazing...

 





Like Life with Greyson + Parker on Facebook... Each Like helps me Change the World by sharing Awareness for Autism... And a very special thank you for the folks that I saw shared the blog today-- Andrea B, Michelle, Aunt Lani and SammyJo... (I can't see all of them because of some folks privacy settings- but I am still grateful!!!)


Love,

Your Friend...even if we have never met...

Chrissy