Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hope for a silver lining

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It's this time of the night that my Life's purpose is so much more clear...

Alone time...time to calmly think always brings me full circle... The insanity of the day falls away.

I watched a recorded interview today on the show, Katie, with the Director of the movie, Silver Linings Playbook- David Russell... The movie is dynamic and touches on Bipolar disorder but its messages can be applied to every single one of us.  It could be about any one of us- or any one of our kids... It's not a movie about us and them... There is no us and them...There is only us...


Some of the things David Russell said made me feel like he was reading my mind and saying it out loud... And some of the things he said made me feel humbled, blown away, empowered and inspired...
He reminded me to dream BIG... It's so easy to go through the day-to-day ground hog day motions of Life and forget to dream... Dreams come true...real honest to goodness dreams... I'm trying to remember to dream big...

David Russell has a son with Mood Disorder, and at 10 years old his son said Life was so hard he didn't know if he wanted to keep going... I can't grasp how that would feel to hear as a parent... David dreamed Big and matched his talents with his mission to share Awareness in Life...

I would do anything for him, David said. I wanted a story to help him feel like he was part of the World...Like he was relevant. He said he was drawn to direct this movie because the story contained an element of enchantment- and he said we can't make it through the hard times without enchantment.


My son has grown my heart 5 times. I might have been a parent who was- jeez is my kid going to get into this prestigious school or this prestigious school? Instead, I just want him to be happy and to enjoy his life.


David's words fit my Life and landed in a place that felt like home... He wants to open a window on Mental Illness and I want to help him- I want to open a window on Autism...and everyone that may feel irrelevant or different... I started to cry when David said there is nothing harder in Life than when you can't figure out what to do. He said you try everything....you stop at nothing- never stop...your heart just keeps on growing...

And try everything you must- when you have a child that struggles... We've done it all and will continue to do it all... We see Doctors and experts and specialists and therapists...we given injections and used lotions and potions and creams... I am proud to be Greyson's Project Manager... There is so much heart in our struggle and I will never give up... Not to cure Greyson- but to give him every option available to him to make his Life feel happy...

I no longer label the things that don't work as failure...they were things I needed to try to know I tried everything...

Sometimes it's so hard....making sure my Greyson can exist with relevance in the World we live in... Trust me- I would leave this World behind in a second and join him in his if it was a possibility... I'm not going to waste my son's Autism... It's here telling a story, and by golly...I am going to learn from it... We can all learn from struggle- our own and others...


Today we drove by some new home construction and since we had a few minutes I pulled over and let Grey get in the front seat to watch... Seeing him enjoy the things he enjoys makes me feel like we are in the same World together...

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Seeing this face made me decide - why sit in these nose bleed seats- when we can climb into the front row?



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Greyson agreed...and he was so happy he didn't know which way to jump... I'm positive my heart grew watching him.

And they had this system wired...truck after truck after truck pulled up to be filled with dirt and then move on... and at one point- I just had to sit on the ground...take it all in... and swallow away that huge lump in my throat- because driver after driver--we are talking big burly men...were grinning from ear to ear- watching Greyson take it all in...

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Every single one of them honked or waved or smiled a smile so bright and so big that I knew they could see what I see...and that's kind of my whole mission in Life....

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To make sure you see the Greyson I do...


I believe people are good and that dreams really do come true...I believe there exists a silver lining for every one of us.



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6 comments:

  1. you are a really good mom, chrissy. and there's nothing more important than that.

    susan

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  2. Perfect! Absolutely beautiful! You are an incredible mom and an amazing woman!

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  3. Oh this was SO, SO beautiful!

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  4. Now I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. :)

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