Wednesday, February 27, 2013

you

Carry on...


If you're lost and alone 
Or you're sinking like a stone 
Carry on 

May your past be the sound 

Of your feet upon the ground 
Carry on 

Carry on... {Fun} 


That song has been my mantra over the past couple of weeks...ever so slowly healing me with each subsequent listen...each window down sunny day drive with it blaring on the radio...If it is cold where you live- I am sending you some sunshine... Can you feel it?


Someone asked me once- What has helped you through your journey the most? And honestly- the first answer that came to mind is you...

Yes, you...

Your words, your heart, your understanding, your Love...you share them with me and it fuels me... The first thing I do when I wake up is check the blog for comments...I check to see how many people read the current post and then I check to see how many new "likes" I got on Life with Greyson + Parker Facebook page...Admitting all of this makes me feel like a nerdy & needy teenager- but I peeled back my layers to make sure I was doing all of that for the right reasons- not to feed my ego- but to honestly share Awareness for Autism and all kinds of different... To help you see the beauty that already exists in your Life despite imperfect circumstances...  


You see, every time someone new clicks like- it shows on their Newsfeed and helps me reach literally thousands of more potential people in the World... it feels like changing the world while I sleep and that's pretty much my Life's mission... 

Everything I do is for the Future of Greyson and Parker...

I'm confident my journey is so much easier because of your Love and words and support...Sometimes your heart hurts for me and that feels so good...You don't feel pity for me though- and that feels even better...  And although it is so nice and validating I don't need you to tell me I'm a great Mom... Mothering is often a thankless job...You just don't get too many atta girls...But because of this blog- I get a few..I wish I could share those cheers I get along the way with YOU because we ALL deserve to hear that...There is no one at the finish line wrapping a warming blanket on our shoulders each day saying- I'm so proud of you. You did such an amazing job... Way to juggle so many things. I can't believe you made dinner and cleaned up on top of everything else... You are amazing...


Each day is it's own Finish Line...And each day starts brand new... 



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Grey goes to speech on Wednesdays- and it's an awesome opportunity for some much loved alone time with my first born boy... Language is so confusing I'm actually amazed that Typical kids pick it up so easily...

Afterwards I took him for a Jamba Juice...

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And we braved the dollar store...I'm not gonna lie- that place kinda of scares me...

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Belle hated our dollar store find...

What I love most is when you tell me about you. I care about you. I don't think you're crazy- or a stalker (everyone starts emails to me that way and it makes me laugh.) Even if you don't feel like introducing yourself to me- that's OK too...I still care about you. You are a visitor in my home- and I want you to feel welcome. I'd like to offer you a snack or a drink if I could. I want to know your story and what makes you connect with my words. I love hearing that you relate to me- for whatever reason... You feel along with me... It makes me feel not lonely...it makes me feel understood. 


That's what we all want- right? For people to understand us and believe in us... I believe in you



I've heard Autism moms say- People need to hear our story and what we go through... 


But I feel differently. You don't need my words. You could wake up every day and do just fine without them... If you only have Typical Kids you may be fine never reading a single thing about Autism for the rest of your Life.You stopping by this blog to read my words is a privilege to me. It's an honor. Everyone has a cause- and everyone wants everyone else to care about their cause. 

Thank you so much for caring about mine...

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I will never forget that it is a privilege for us to connect and while you're here- learn more about Autism... so it's more understood...less scary...To be honest, I need you to Love my boys- because you are The World and I need The World to treat them kind and see the beauty I see. Sometimes understanding creates a whole lot of kindness. 


One day-- quickly and slowly all at once, Greyson's big blue eyes began to loose their constant sparkle... And with so much Love and hard work, sometimes that sparkle comes back...


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Thank you for seeing that sparkle... Sometimes I see that glimmer in his eyes, telling me- Never give up, Momma ... I am here... I see you...I am with you....


And although you didn't need to hear that...I needed to tell you it... All of it...

Autism is a real pain in my ass... But mothering is a privledge... 
Even when it's a pain in the ass too... Sharing this walk with you is an honor...  {Deep sigh}... 

Thank you for this moment....thank you for being here and reading these words....


Much Love,


Chrissy

7 comments:

  1. I must admit, I love reading your blogs, I smile, I may tear up from time to time, but I always pray! I don't know you but I love you girl! ~Evie~

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  2. Loved it. Will look forward to more.

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  3. I love your honesty and the passion you have for your boys! They are so lucky to have you! Thank you for sharing your heart!

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  4. I found blog about a month ago, and I look forward to starting each day with a cup of coffee and your thoughts. I encounter so many people without the courage to speak honestly about their life. Your honesty about your struggles and successes as a parent and person is so refreshing. Plus your boys are adorabable and I love seeing what adventure you've taken then on. Parker reminds me so much of my 21 month old boy. Our boys cry with that same adorably pathetic look on their faces! Thanks for sharing your life with us!

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  5. I,too,love reading your blog. I love your words and honesty and how much you LOVE your boys and family. You say "Everything I do is for the Future of Greyson and Parker..." Me too. Everything I do is for the future of my wee one - well not so wee anymore. The strength of your fierce love speaks to my heart. Your photography is amazing & I wish I lived closer to take a lesson. Your boys are so beautiful, they melt my heart. Thank you for sharing. Jennifer

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  6. Love, love, love your words, Chrissy. Like Jennifer said, I wish I lived closer to take a photography lesson, too! Thanks for sharing your journey so openly and honestly with us. You're an amazing momma.

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