Today I went to an Orthopedic shoulder specialist to follow up to the MRI I had weeks ago... Since last June I've been experiencing frequent headaches- along with pain in my neck and a bum shoulder. I've been seeing a pain management Dr.- but it was time to check to see if something structural was going on.
Today was my first visit with the shoulder guy. I got a big Starbucks on the way and enjoyed my alone time in the waiting room...They called my name when they were ready for me- and as soon as I walked in the door the Nurse said- Go ahead and set your things down and take a step up here please...
Are you fricking serious? Miss buck oh five- are you seriously asking me to step on scale, 40 ounces of coffee ingested- first thing on a Monday morning --smack dab in the middle of your entry way with folks standing all around?
Just step on the scale, Chrissy...Please- do not say anything weird...Don't tell her you hate scales, therefore you refuse to own one...Do not mention that you are wearing potentially the World's heaviest pair of jeans...Do not say that the gold buttons on your shirt are possibly real- therefore very weight contributing... Do not mention that if the scale says anything other than the number it is supposed to say that it has the potential to ruin your entire day. Pretend like you are normal and just get on the damned scale...Smile and get on the fricking scale...
And so I did...
Screw you, scale...
I was excited to see the Doc. I wanted him to tell me that I had a torn rotator cuff or a broken bone or a dohopper in my noodlebomb...Something broken means that something can be fixed...The Doc looked over my Xray and MRI...he had me do different movements and stretches while he carefully observed from different angles.
He let me know that my shoulder is inches away from where it's supposed to be..He let me know that I have some tendinitis in my rotator cuff- which is really just another way of saying it is pissed about something- and not something that surgery is the answer to...
And my eyes welled up with tears...and the Angel and devil went back and forth...
Don't you dare cry- you wuss...you are a grown up. Suck it up and act like it.
Stop! It's OK to cry...It will show the Dr. that you really need him to fix you and you are tired of this. It will make him work harder because he will connect with the human side of you.
And so I compromised...it was obvious my eyes filled with tears...but I took deep breaths and made wise cracks to keep it in perspective. The Doctor was so thorough, very detailed and explained absolutely everything...he's a sports doc by nature- and he truly believes I'll be game ready with some hard work and physical therapy that focuses more on my shoulder and less on my neck. He believed in me...and it was enough to help me keep things in perspective... And although he is a physician- he made me feel better with only his words...
Words are powerful... The leave a mark on people... Good or bad...they leave a mark.
Parker had no idea that today was Monday... In fact- for all Parker knew it was Friday... He loves his new water table...and tonight he loved a little game he came up with called- throw the heavy car in the water and watch it splash...
He could have played it all night long... He teaches me- Be amazed by simple things... Laugh out loud at them...
And tonight nothing sounded worse than a run... 90 degrees and tired and Monday and blah blah blah... and usually when that happens it means my mind needs it more than ever... So I compromised- and went on an astonishingly lackluster insanely slow one... More of a walk really... But I showed up and I sat in the front row so I am OK with it...
And I knew it was trouble when I saw Greyson falling asleep...
If Greyson falls asleep too early we are looking at a 10pm or later bedtime... I shook the stroller and sang too loud and poked at him...nothing was working... Finally I told him he could get out once we made it to the golf course... They are closed on Mondays (like I would like to be) and I knew he would enjoy running through the greens...
It took him a second or two to wake up and then he was off...
At one point in order to get away from me- he even ran on the grass which is highly unusual for Grey and some kids on the Spectrum...It's called a sensory aversion... I was mad that he was completely ignoring my screams of STOP! But happy he was barefoot in the grass...
And after a couple of minutes- after he got passed the hump- he realized it wasn't so bad after all...
He enjoyed all kinds of sensory experiences...
He loved how his voice echo'ed in the tunnel
Therapy can look like many different things... For Grey and for me...
Have a great day...
Love,
Chrissy
My doctor (a woman of course) once told me, "just because you have to step on the scale, doesn't mean you have to look at the number." I thought it was brilliant and ever since I simply turn my head and cover my eyes. Scale crisis averted for me everytime now.
ReplyDeleteI never look at the scale either. I always just pretend it's not happening. It's just a step up, nothing worrisome about that. And I stare off into space while the nurse fiddles about with it, and then get off. As long as she doesn't tell me, I can just pretend it didn't happen. :)
ReplyDelete