ready for summer

Me day... Tuesday... It's practically the new Friday... So I won't go that far but it was good.

Oh Spin Class, what did I do with myself before I had you to look forward to? Our little group grew... Today there were 4 of us total... And when I saw a new Friend in class my eyes extra lit up... When you are a grown up- A Mom or a Dad or a working person- you don't have the freedom you had in your younger years... Do you want to go grab a beer/coffee/walk is no longer a simple unplanned episode... Therefore- time spent with Friends decreases in frequency but increases in importance...Life gets in way of Life... Life gets in the way of spontaneity... Suddenly spontaneity must be scheduled... Two ideals that are usually mutually exclusive.

But today for just a moment... I was in college...and I was just meeting some gals to work out... It is the little-big things that make my World go round... And the instructor was new and she was NOT Church material... But we all came together... The young and old and big and small and woman and men...and we all pushed pedals with our feet at the same time while we were sweating and breathing and doing something so on purpose for ourselves that it was synergistic...

And I realized why I like Spin so very much...I realized the magic it contains that can't be achieved while running...Somewhere in the middle of Spin- it gets so hard that I can no longer think... I can move and process and feel...but I can't think... Don't forget to buy creamer, my shoulder hurts, that zit on my cheek in big, I like her pants, why does he have ear plugs in? Is speech cancelled Friday? I need to return my orange shirt... After the hump- and somewhere near the middle- I just can't think because all my energy is poured into output...

Sometimes I think I think too much... {pink}

It's why even as a little child I read so many books... My eyes were starving for words and my hands couldn't turn pages fast enough... When I read I fully commit- and it's hard for me to think of other obtrusive outside thoughts while I'm engaged- which is how it should be...and to this day books provide me the sliver of vacation I need to step outside my World for just a little while... Spinning, books and movies gives me a glorious break from the cogs and wheels constantly turning in my head... A head that I love, that serves me well...a mind that feels raw and completely and deeply... So deeply that at times it is too much...and I just need a little break away...

And despite today's class mediocrity- I drove away invigorated... Euphoric even. I want to write an epic business plan for the rest of my life...I want to write and feel and love and clean... I just want to embrace it all...My lungs are bigger and I am breathing deeper...my head is bigger with more room to stretch out...

And since I am such a devoted and continuous thinker- I love the idea of Behavior therapy- not just as the an Autism treatment (which is called ABA- Applied Behavior Analysis) --but for adults... I'm a big fan of therapy... I think everyone should go...

Behavior therapy is a method used by some Licensed Psychotherapists focusing on helping an individual understand how changing their behavior can lead to changes in how they are feeling. Behavior therapy puts the emphasis on your actual specific learned behaviors and works on changing the ones that cause struggle-  instead of analyzing the questions like- why do I do this, what caused it, where is this coming from, how does this make me feel? And so on...

What is one behavior you can change that can bring more happy into your Life? This is not theoretical...this is a pause and answer...

Here's mine... Go to bed earlier... Forever- is too intimidating- so I'm starting with this week... I'm trying to start blogging thoughts earlier in the day to help me go to bed by 10pm. I'm tired of being tired- and I need my energy to fight Autism during the day- so sleep is my change...

We've been potty training a little over a week now... You don't have to ask how it's going-  just assume- slow but good... It took me about 5 months to teach him to say his name- so I'm not expecting anything faster for something as complicated as toilet training... We are going full throttle... Underwear only...We go once an hour...if he doesn't go we try every 15 minutes... We spend a lot of time in the bathroom...



He spends a lot of time in only underwear too...His favorite.










I love Grey for a million new reasons every day. Sometimes when he's hungry he just goes and sits at the kitchen table. I'm hungry- he says, talking to me without talking at all. I will be searching the house, unable to find him...and there he is, patiently waiting at the table for someone to bring him some food. Sometimes I'm certain his inability to speak makes him more enlightened than me.

I talk with words.  Words mean the World to me. My words form a lasso that grabs you. I think that's a beautiful thing- the fact that this word connection here transcends boundaries. I believe in it. I believe that we are all on a journey- a trek really...and along the way we connect with people that we are meant to meet...some face to face and some via nothing more...or less... than words... and I'm grateful to be a part of your journey... Even if we've never met... I believe words can do that...Connect people in a way more authentic than even some face to face relationships...

I remember the first time I felt that... I was reading Enjoying the Small Things- Kelle Hampton's blog when Grey was just a baby...

What are you reading? Michael asked...

My eyes were glued to the screen and crying...A blog...

Whose blog? He asks...

Kelle Hampton, I tell him- not looking away from the screen...

Do you know her? He asks...

No...but I feel like I do...Listen to what she wrote--and then I would read an excerpt with hand over heart and read words so inspiring and awakening and exactly what I was feeling somewhere in my core yet never knew it until the instant I read it...

And he gave me one of those- That's nice dear...and I knew he didn't understand...

Sometimes he'd walk into the room on a different day while I was reading her words again... Are you reading that blog again? He'd ask suspiciously... Ummm...No... No- just a very sad letter from...yes- from an old friend from college... Sad really- her poor dog just died.... Now what should we have for dinner tonight? I would ask to distract him...

Yes, my Friend... Words work wonders and move mountains and create bonds between people in ways that only words can...



Tonight we welcomed the feelings and smells and tastes of Summer...










Cara cara oranges.... so sweet and good...









As the Summer gets closer more fruits and vegetables are ready... Tonight we got just a glimmer- and it was good...



Time to go eat some oranges and get ready for bed now Friend...

Love,

Chrissy