Thursday, April 24, 2014

real friends


Today we went to our favorite frog pond to explore and hold the quiet in our hands for just a slice in time. 

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No one fell in today. Yes, so far our stats are Parker-2, Greyson-1.

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Today life made sense. I love it when that happens.

I thought about my time at the retreat I went on last week. I think what I loved best, was it was so obvious that everyone showed up as themselves. We were all painfully authentic at times. It made me think so much about friendship and what's important to me. It made me grateful for the real people in my life, which then inspired this post. It's a little piece of my heart.

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I don't care if your house is clean or dirty. If your base boards are covered in inch thick dust- with piles of laundry threatening to suffocate your living room floor.

Those things don't matter to me. I want to know who you really are. I want to know how you take your coffee and how you feel about life.

I don't care if you buy all organic or just went through the McDonalds drive thru. It doesn't matter if you are a master chef or the queen of take out.

I want to see you. The real you- the one you are afraid to show. The parts you think no one cares about. I want to show you me, a me with no mask or cape. I want to learn from our differences. I want us to help each other in a ruthless pursuit of our dreams.

I don't care if your husband is your best friend and soul mate and the one you tell all your secrets to-or if your marriage is harder than your very hardest day of parenting.

I want to know what is the truth. I want to know you are authentic and raw. I want to know you look for the silver linings whenever you can, and forgive yourself when you can't. I want to know about the days that are liquid sunshine and everything lines up right. And I want to know about the ones that are much too much, and you feel unbearably not enough, overdrawn and alone. I want the opportunity to show up for you when it is ridiculously inconvenient. I want you to do the same. It's so hard for me to need people, but I will let myself need you too.

I don't care what you did for your work out today or how many calories you burned. I don't care if you haven't worked out in years and you dress quickly after drying off from the shower because you can't stand to look at your body now. I don't care about your hair or your thighs or your once- no longer perky boobs. Casual or fancy clothes, both are fine by me, as long as they feel like you.

Your outside you doesn't matter to me. Not even a little. I find you beautiful, breath-taking. I notice all your wonderful things that give me pause, things about you that you do not see. I need to tell you more. The way your eyes light up when you talk about your favorite things. The self-conscience way you talk about the past and the heavy hurting things that you still carry. I want to help you with your load. In doing so, it makes mine lighter too.

I don't care if you're wildly successful and busy, or somewhere in between. If you stay at home with your babes, feeling drunk from the love, and crazy from the insane. I don't care if your kid is on the honor roll or just scored the winning goal. Or if their future sometimes keeps you awake at night in fear.

I just want to know what you really think about in the quiet spaces of night, and what you picture to make it all feel alright. I want to know what your monsters look like so I can help scare them away. I want to know your favorite non-chocolate candy, and the tiny little fascinating details that make you- you. I want to know what makes you ache and what makes you feel whole. I just want us to sit with our imperfections and connect and be seen and understood.

I don't care if you are 25 or 72. We have so much to learn from each other. I hope you give me the opportunity to really know you. I promise to show you the real me.

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So much love,
Chrissy

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11 comments:

  1. I'm so proud I got to show you the real me. I can't wait to get to know you better and meet your family and keep on being friends. For, like, ever. xoxo

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  2. I can't wait to show you ME. Xo I love you, just the way you are...(cue the music!) lol! Xoxoxo

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  3. What a beautiful post. I want this. Don't we all want to be loved just as we are, the good and the bad? Why is it so hard to find? I love how simply you out this into words. I also want to be this friend.

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  4. Amen, amen, amen, A-M-E-N!! :-) I want this too, too! :-)

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  5. Lisa from Tennessee/Ohio, more Tennessee, but not fully yet.April 25, 2014 at 7:43 AM

    If only we didn't live so freaking far away from each other! LOL I wish you were my, in person, "real life" friend, instead of someone whose words I read almost every day, but will likely never meet. I wish Grey and Parker knew me so I could hug or not hug them, depending on the kind of day there were having. I wish you could call me on those bad days and I could come with wine or chocolate or both and help may the day better. I wish you could call me on those liquid gold days and we could laugh and cherish them together. And I wish I could call you on those days when I'm missing my husband so bad it hurts. (He is still in Ohio) But....at least I found you on the interwebs and we can be distand friends. :-)

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  6. Chrissy, such a beautiful and inspiring post. You are awesome. Thank you for sharing your heart. XXX

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  7. I was born a poor black sharecropper's son who never dreamed I was adopted. Wait. Crap, that's not me, that was Steve Martin in The Jerk.
    I guess I'm still trying to figure me out, too. One of the things I love about this place is how your writing & questioning help me consider my life.
    I've played this sort of game with a friend where we imagine we are introducing ourselves for the first time to someone. What do you say? Hi, I am Jennifer Miracle & I am _______. What is the first word or description you would use to tell someone about yourself? I am a wife? Mother? Accountant? Happy-ending believer? People lover? Optimist? Bacon lover?
    Thank you for this place to come & help figure it out.
    Love & happiness to you, sweet Momma xoxo Jen

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  8. Real friendship-yes authentic friendships! Something we all crave, something that is hard to find because it's hard to be vulnerable and real, something that is so needed, worth immeasurably more than any "thing". Love this post! Thank you for your words!

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  9. if only there was someone in my real life that cared enough about me like this..... I'd love to have someone to share ME with...not just the me I put on before I walk out the door...

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  10. YES....a million times....and then yes some more.

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  11. Candy.

    I like Mike And Ike's.

    I like you.

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