Let's just start at the middle. For me that's always the best place to begin. Sometimes the beginning is too far from memory, too speckled with details. The end makes no sense without the middle. So let's just start there.
It's December. The 12th month of the year. Right after November -like always. And shot out of a cannon into right now. I haven't written in a week because life has been on fast forward and the less I write the less I can even remember HOW to write. And THIS happened last Tuesday.
My first and (better be) LAST root canal. The drill the entire middle of your tooth out- all the way down to your roots. YUCK. And now I need a crown for the top of it to make it strong again. Merry Christmas to me.
I highly recommend NOT skipping the dentist for 6 years. From the moment I got pregnant with Greyson until six months ago I didn't go to the dentist once. I'd love to blame it on autism or selfless motherhood- but I've made time here and there for shopping and pedicures and alone time. When I finally went a few months back the good news is I only had one cavity. The bad news is it was deep. The Dentist filled it but warned me that he was close to a nerve and I may have to come back for a root canal. About two weeks ago I woke up with a tingly numb right side of my face. My muscles worked fine and I wasn't in any pain but I was freaking out. Even the dentist wasn't quite sure what in the heck was going on. I had a root canal last week and finally over the weekend my face returned to normal.
Our weekend fun strolling down a local neighborhood called Candy Cane Lane. All the houses decorate Clark Griswold style and it's so much fun to walk and drive through the neighborhood. I have to remind myself- sometimes the holidays DO look exactly like I expected and hoped for. Sometimes I'm so focused on what isn't that I completely miss what IS. That's one of the reasons I love writing. It helps me organize my thoughts and bring what is important to me to the surface.
And BAM. It's December. And we put our house on the market and last week it sold. And we are in the middle of buying another house locally. And Christmas shopping and should we even bother putting up our tree? and marriage and I have to send out the Christmas Cards and life and root canals suddenly felt incredibly overwhelming. And today I made myself take a deep breath and really tackle these feelings of feeling so overwhelmed.
MOVING. PACKING. Which also means the purchase of an adorable, amazing home overflowing with mid-century character that is going to be ALL OURS. With a big back yard for our boys. The move was instigated by our need to move school districts for Greyson and ultimately Parker, but with it comes a million more perks too. Yes moving will suck. But it is a thing with an end. I can't wait to show our new pad to you.
I haven't done any Christmas shopping. Chrissy meet Amazon Prime. You are quite familiar with it already. You can do everything in one evening. That plus one evening at the Mall and you will be doneso. (Annie- do you want to come with me one evening in the next week or two?) Sorry, it's really that easy. And PS- Your kids are happiest with an empty box in the back yard. It's ME that has unrealistic expectations of perfection. Don't push that onto them.
Isn't it hilarious how EASILY we can turn blessings into some of the most insurmountable problems in the Universe? Like will it really matter if we put the tree out or not? I think not.
So here we are now.
Taking deep breaths and enjoying and stressing over life. Because there will ALWAYS be life and marriage and root canals. You just have to enjoy the good stuff too.
When Parker is doing something fun he calls it a "weeee". A slide is weee. Every time he goes down it he says it with gusto. WEEEEEEEEE. A swing is -of course -a weeeee. The other day it escaped his little puppet mouth every time he threw a ball. He jumps every time he throws - like he has to or the ball won't work. That's the great thing about playing with him. He reminds me to weeee. When we are older weeeee turns into: I don't have time for this fun. Or, I'm scared. And This isn't practical.
And yes, it's December, but let Parker remind YOU to take time to weeeeee.
Doodle throw back, 2013
Happy December Friend.