Hath Sprung

Spring is my absolute favorite time of the year...I find something about the rebirth of the World so amazing...so inspiring... God's little reminders of new life are everywhere... Rich and vibrant green replaces what once was... The brilliance of the beautiful and clear blue sky makes me feel like I could possibly look up and see straight into heaven.

Makes you want to put on your bikini and run around....Yep, that's yours truly

The lingering daylight is like your favorite bag of chips...But 20% Bigger-- for FREE.

Longer evenings mean more family walks, more outside time....I hear the familiar and faint hum of street lights and the faint but nostalgic smell of asphalt and I'm practically 8 years old...playing outside in St. Louis....catching fireflys and putting them in a jar and thinking I had everything any 8-year old girl could ever want... When did I start to need stuff to be happy? I want to go back for just a minute and feel that kind of innocent contentment.

At the beginning of Spring, each warm and sunny day feels like an absolute gift straight from Neiman Marcus ...Heaven...

People are nicer. Ice cream is creamier. Coffee is more caffeinated.

Today, I could either get Greyson to preschool on time, or I could get Starbucks and be 6 minutes late....guess what I chose?

That's OK...Grey's school didn't mind. If you live in Fresno and need an awesome preschool for your Bitty, contact these guys.

Even the regular old park is polished and different and new.

I love this 2U student! Even more so because her Mom lets me ask her awesome questions like, "If you HAD to be one of the girls from Sex and the City- who would you be, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte or Samantha? Her answer? "Purple". Brillant. 2 year olds say the awesomest things.

Have a wonderful weekend, friend. I hope you can experience some rebirth of your own. Do something you have been putting off....start a new hobby. Maybe you should start a little baby blog of your very own! It's a great way to chronical your life and keep a diary without having to locate a pen.

I need your help, friend. Autism statistics are on the rise. 1 in 88 children are affected by this gross epidemic. Please keep sharing my words. You never know who may need to find them.

There are possibly friends of yours on Facebook that are affected by an Autism Spectrum Disorder and you may not even know. No one should have to face this journey alone.

Much Love,

Chrissy

Real. Crabby.

Today started out rainy....and quickly turned into one of those brilliant beautiful blue-sky'ed days that made me want to stand at the top of a hill and yell out...

"Screw you, Beautiful day. I'm in a really bad mood."

Some days when I've been in a funk...I have been known- on more than one occasion --to go back and read my own words...I try to get in touch with the soul that wrote them. Most days I feel happy and grateful and joyous... But I am also real, and real people get crabby and sad and pissed too....and I wanted to share a little bit of those parts too...because I'm guessing you can relate.

Michael left yesterday morning for work. Thanks for working so hard, Dad!

I used to read a Mom blog...Man, when I first stumbled upon it, her words infused my soul. She said so many things that I connected with. She lit a path for me to want to be a better person, and a better Mother. For that I am still grateful....But after time I started to realize the words were always rainbows and unicorns....always fresh baked pies and tickling toes... and although I totally worship the power of positive thinking...I also need room for raw, honest and real...I don't do Stepfordy. I do real. I need a little sour with my sweet chicken...a little spice with my sugar.

Life is purely a mental sport. If you are a construction worker, the strongest man in the World or a professional dancer for the New York Knicks...the following words may not be for you...

Everyone else? Read on...

Mom'ing is certainly a mental sport. Physically it does have it's challenges and it's demands... but for the most part the truly arduous part has nothing to do with the physical...the picking up or the dropping off...the brushing of hair and the brushing of teeth....the making lunch and the fixing snack.... Easy.... The same can probably be said about your day to day even if you don't have kids.

It's the emotional and cerebral portion that may cause an error message of insufficient funds to come up in your soul. Today, I didn't have Super Human Powers...they must have swirled down the drain during my shower. Today I was shorter with them than I would have liked. Today I didn't enjoy the small things as often as I could have. Today I didn't always use a kind voice every time. I was just so tired. So frustrated. So in need to plug in and refuel. Sometimes the life of a stay at home Mom can feel isolating. Millions of others are doing the exact same thing as me at the exact same time...but sometimes I feel alone. Everyone has different school or nap schedules....Dr's appointments....life...sometimes it's hard to find the time and a way to connect with people throughout the day.

Parker's top teeth are breaking through and he wasn't happy unless I was holding him for most of the day.

Airplane makes everyone feel better though. His poor teefers.

Grey skipped his nap this afternoon and was running around the house turning on every light and every ceiling fan....going from room to room- opening doors and slamming them shut....opening drawers and pulling out contents- throwing them on the floor --and I was walking around -trying to clean up and keep up (damn.....as I sit here with the dim light of the TV on, I am laughing at how funny this is -and especially funny that it so totally pushed my buttons at the time!) But that's just the thing...on the days that it feels like too much- it isn't about the actual...it is about the perception... The things that set me off wouldn't have even phased me on another day....but today, they did. That is the mental part.

As I look over my pictures from today...I remember it wasn't all bad. Not by any means....that's part of the reason I love pictures so much. They help me remember the good.

Man do I love this thinking face.

I am a Control Freak....and part of my Control Freakness means I can usually control my mood...no, not instantly...but after some period of ponder.... I am a happy and positive person by nature, therefore, when I get into a mood I can usually talk myself out of it. It took me a long time today...

I had some alone time...I went for a run...

The view at Woodward Park in Fresno, CA. during my run. Seriously, who brings a camera on a run?

I cleared the clutter....and suddenly... and not so suddenly, I felt like myself again.

Maybe you can relate to my feelings...maybe you can relate to my thoughts...and if you do, it's nice for all of us to know- even when we are by ourselves...we are not alone.

Thanks for all of your emails (kellyc43@gmail.com) and messages on Facebook.

I love hearing from you.

I'm working on a Frequently asked Questions post. If there is anything you have questions about, shoot me a line! Me, my family, photography, life, etc. (As long as it has nothing to do with the topic of vaccines or any other "controversial" Autism topics. I was a communication major; I'm not qualified to discuss vaccines with the public. For the record, I think vaccinations are a personal choice and should be decided by you and your physician...not some crabby chick that writes a blog).

Chrissy

Right Now

Michael is going out of town for work again...and usually starting at around 4pm at night I start to go a little bit crazy...and I start to get that fear in the pit of my stomach...that I'm tired and this is overwhelming and the next few hours will feel like days feeling...and then with relief, I remember...

I have Super Human Powers. I remember that just two weeks ago today Greyson and I went for what I thought was going to be a typical-ish evaluation and we got a parting gift. It was not cash and/or prizes, but it was an Autism diagnosis. And after I heard those words, my legs not only walked me out of the building, but they safely drove us home, and then my legs and the rest of me Mom'ed for three more days alone that week. And we did more than OK...we did great...We rocked.

I even took this picture that day because I knew I would want to remember that the sky was beautiful and blue.

Repeat after me- Woman have Frickin' Super Human Powers. It's not bragging- it's MEDICAL FACT. I remember saying that after the Dr. that diagnosed G said, "I actually do tell you today if he has Autism or not...it doesn't take months like you heard....but I won't tell you today if you would rather wait." And for a second, I was so afraid he wasn't going to tell me, and I needed him to so desperately.

I looked him dead in the eyes and with unwavering and real confidence I said, "No, tell me at the end of today's evaluation. I have Super Human Powers, I can handle it."

Keep that in mind when you are worried about something. You have all the answers you need inside...all the strength you must call on- it is inside right now. It is there, waiting patiently for its call. Whatever it is- your fear- your struggle-your current life story-it is NOT bigger than you.

Somehow one little egg and one little sperm joined together in what can only be called a MIRACLE and fought through many kinds of weather and hardships and made you. Well done, God, well done. We all think of our babies as miracles, but we forget- SO ARE WE. You were someone's baby once too, you sweet little cute thing you, don't you dare forget it. Maybe your Momma or your Poppa didn't treat you like the gift that you are, but that doesn't make it not true.

You are a miracle.

All we ever have is right now- this very moment. How are you doing at this exact moment? I hope good, and I hope happy. Happy with what you have and not thinking about what you want. Not happy in a week from now when something scary looming up ahead is over, but this actual very second... Happy.

It's easy to get caught up in future thinking...waiting for happiness...

If only I could find a boyfriend, I would be so happy...

If only I were engaged, I would be so happy....

Michael and I got engaged when I was 31 and we got married when I was 32. In St. Louis, and in Fresno, 32 is Old-Maid ancient...in LA -it's totally average. I'm glad I waited until I was "older" to get married. For me it meant I was ready.

(wedding and engagement photos by Jerry Frasier.)

And then you think...

If only I was done planning this stressful wedding... I would be so happy!

Our First officially married dinner after our honeymoon. Margarita's are our absolute favorite. Combine that with Chips and Salsa, and you've got all your food groups represented.

If only we could buy a house, I would be so happy!....

Our first home; a condo in Hermosa Beach, CA. Ocean-view heaven.

If only I could get pregnant my whole Life would come together...

Itty Bitty G.

Oh man, I would be so happy....

If only I was done being pregnant...I would be so happy!

Greyson, 3 days old. Heart-aching beautiful.

And then...

If only I could loose this baby weight and get my tummy and boobs back, I would be so happy!

If only I could sleep through the night, I would be so happy!

Do I need to go on? because I could. Because then you want more babies, and then a bigger house and then a different car. And a thousand other things I can't even think of right now.

And I know reading these words makes it all sound so simple....

But living it feels so complicated sometimes...

And sometimes it really is complicated, I know...but sometimes...

It isn't.

This second is good.

Be excited for your future, so very excited, because there are so many amazing things awaiting you... but don't wait to be happy.

Beauty Full

The older I get the more I work to mold and change my definition of beautiful. When you are a Mother or a Father you also have an amazing and awesome responsibility to define beauty for your bitty boys or girls. We are their first teachers. That really makes me think twice--Is the way I define beauty the way I want my boys to define beauty? I don't want them to have a rigid definition of beauty and so I work to change mine. I don't want them to define it only as perfection found in some combination of long and thick smooth hair, a flat tummy, creamy flawless skin, white perfect teeth, 5 lbs underweight and dressed to perfection.

I think a round tummy is so so so much more beautiful than a flat one these days...

And here is Parker and Me...and not a sit up in sight. I didn't feel it at the time but now I look and I think "Beautiful".

I remember coming into my 30's....excited...I had read about so many others before me who "came into themselves" at 30. I thought perhaps I would blow out those 30 candles on my cake and have a sudden peace with what is. I would appreciate my strong features instead of wishing I had my sister's cute and tiny nose. I would stop going for highlights to achieve the perfect blond every 5 weeks.

I would suddenly love my little puppet mouth and stop wishing for Angelia Jolie-like lips. I would stop basing my mood on a number on a scale or on the tightness of my going-out jeans. I heard that a woman gets to a certain age and must sacrifice her face or her ass, so I was going to try like mad to keep both of those in check. And when you live in Southern Calfornia, you have many many resources to buy "beautiful".

Now that I have a mini-puppet mouth, my own little lips don't bother me nearly as much...On Parker, they are beautiful! He is rocking a puppet mouth and teaching me about "beautiful" too.

I wish I could tell you I've come into a Budda-Zen-like peace with my conception of beauty now that I've reached the ripe and succulent age of 38....I haven't....but I want to...and so I try. I think it's only natural to have a preconceived notion of what we consider beautiful. The problems lies when our own personal ideal of beauty and the girl (or boy) in the mirror don't line up. I'd like to say I blame it on magazines and TV shows- projecting an unrealistic ideal of standardized beauty...but I buy those magazines and I watch those shows... So I must acknowledge these feelings and if I am not OK with them, I must change the way I feel or the way I think. Sometimes I have to turn myself inside out and give me a good shake to see if there are any bad feelings hanging on to a corner inside.

I can honestly say my definition of beautiful has evolved...It has molded and changed.... I want to continue to break the mold I created for "beautiful" in my mind. I threw away my scale many years ago and I still don't own one, never will. I no longer get my hair done every 5 weeks and subsequently no longer worship on the alter of blond. Currently it's been 9 weeks, and my appointment still isn't for one more.

I'm being honest when I say I'd much rather be home with them, than sitting alone for a few hours in a chair every 5 weeks. Check out those roots!

Blond, but I didn't have "more fun" then...it was just a different kind of fun!

Due to long lag time between appointments, I realized last year that this Momma has some Gray... I thought you had to be like 68 for Gray hair... 38 is practically a baby!! (right?! someone?) When I first saw them growing in I would sit on my bathroom vanity, pressed up against the mirror examing their growth with a forensic like intensity. My eyes would cross as I would try to pluck the offenders out. Now I've decided denial is perfectly acceptable in this case and I no longer have the inclination or the time for such intense exam. I'd rather use that time to sleep instead of scour.

I find strength breath-taking.... I find happiness striking...I find humor alluring...

Even a ridiculous laugh out loud face like this is "beautiful" to me.

I find intelligence and passion stunning...

People who are passionate about what they do are beautiful- Like Teacher Amy. If you ever have any questions about your child's speech or development, email Teacher Amy. She wants to hear from you. She told me! thetalkteam@hotmail.com

I find real and honest and raw to be exquisite.

I know I am more accepting of others than I am of myself. I think many women are. We find our friends beautiful, but sometimes scowl at our own reflection and physical attributes. I love bearing witness to a character building crooked tooth, a strong nose, a gray streak or a curvy figure.

Don't waste your pretty wishing you were taller, skinnier, blonder, curvier, younger or anything else other than who you are.

I feel the most beautiful right after a run, or when I am looking at them...

Other Momma's holding and loving on my babies is so heart-clapping beautiful.

And bubbles and carefree and happy and cupcake hats are certainly beautiful in my book.

The way only a Momma can gaze at her child is the most beautiful thing I think I've witnessed.

How do you define beautiful? I want to hear from you. kellyc43@hotmail.com or find me on Facebook.

Guilt Free Friday

This morning I looked out my back door and noticed it was raining....and when I looked a little closer, I realized it was only raining in one spot ...in my defense, this is before I was caffeinated... And at even closer inspection, I realized that our sprinklers had gone off.

It made me realize that is what your brain is like when you welcome feelings of guilt into your mind....it's raining- but only on you...while the rest of the World is bright and sunny.

Guilt...

A cognitive or emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes -accurately or not- that they have violated a moral standard, and bears significant responsibility for that action.

Is guilt playing on a broken record player in your brain? It's time to sell that junk on ebay, friend. Get it out of there. Make it part of your Spring Cleaning regimen.

There's Catholic Guilt...Jewish Guilt... People who use guilt to manipulate- YUCK...but nothing like the guilt of a parent...Especially the guilt of the Momma. Mother's guilt. Shudder. It varies in intensity based on the "crime"...all of it is bad. None of it is productive. I was blown away by it's thick presence when we attended Early Intervention Preschool... So many Mom's feeling accountable for their child's developmental delay. I heard so many excuses...he's the youngest, so he didn't get as much attention as I would have liked...We brought home the new baby and he got ignored. ..I let her watch too much TV... I waited too long to get pregnant... Assuming you weren't smoking Black Tar Heroin while pregnant, no one causes their child to have Down Syndrome, or any Syndrome for that matter or Autism. I think Scientists would have figured that one out by now..."On the 11 o'clock news tonight, see how Yo Gabba Gabba has recently been linked to Autism."

I understand that Guilt is one of the stages in a 7 stage model of grief. It may be a step you need to take before reaching Acceptance and that's ok and understandable. But it's important to make sure it's just a stop on the road to acceptance , and not somewhere you plant roots. Thinking that way is unproductive and delays full acceptance of whatever your situation in life is.

Even the little day to day guilt is not good for you. Like plaque in your arteries, it builds up. Since I am writing about guilt, today I was more aware of it. I kept note of it. By 12:29 I quit keeping note because it was freaking me out. I feel "guilt" so much. I swear I even felt guilty when I realized how often I felt guilty. Guilty for rushing to get to preschool in the morning and not getting up earlier. Guilty for stopping to get Starbucks instead of stopping to buy G's waffles... Guilty for eating a whole bag of Pop Chips (at least they are only 3 oz.)...Guilty for being 3 minutes late to pick Grey up from school, guilty because Teacher Holly stayed as Grey's wingman instead of taking a lunch.

I used to feel guilty that Grey had to spend all day every day inside doing ABA therapy. Then I took that guilt as a sign I needed a change, and so I did something about it. I spoke to the powers in charge and now we sometimes take ABA on the road- we go play with kids and run around in the dirt and we intertwine ABA throughout. It helps him generalize the skills he is learning and it's been very rewarding. I'm here to break the rules.

Greyson ABA'ing at the park. Enjoying the company of some adorable lady friends...

Working Mom's feel the guilt daily! I remember. It's so counter-productive.

Feeling guilt doesn't help your kids-- or you! So Stop it! Either use guilt as a signal from your mind telling you it's time for a change, and then work towards making that change, or work on eliminating the guilt completely. Make a choice. Don't choose guilt. Don't let it rain only on you.

Michael has been traveling a lot for work lately. I have started to book a babysitter for a couple of hours each evening that he is gone. Last night I did it and decided- I've earned this and I'm not even going to feel guilty about it.

I went for a run at Woodward Park by myself. Because of that, I started my 2nd Moming shift with a clear head.

It was GLORIOUS!

Last night my mind was able to realize that Guilt was a choice, and I wasn't going to choose it.

I'm going to try to keep guilt off of my list of choices...

Alone time makes me a better Mother, and I want to be an awesome Mom, so I am learning to take it. Guilt makes me nothing- (but crazy.)

Sometimes we put all these preconceived notions on ourselves- to the point we may not even remember who our authentic self is anymore. Show people the real you. Give people the opportunity to love the real you. There's no room for guilt in that equation. No place for perfect. We've had a worry free Wednesday before here at LWG... Tomorrow, Friday, March 23rd will be a GUILT FREE FRIDAY! Each time you start to entertain a guilty thought, STOP IT. Get McDonald's Drive through, get a mani/pedi, book some alone time, Take a spin class, watch Reality TV, pawn your kids off on your in-laws, buy some new shoes, eat a whole bag of Pop chips or peanut M& M's! Whatever you do, don't let GUILT play a supporting role in your life story.

Have a great weekend!

I'd love to hear from you. kellyc43@gmail.com or on Facebook.

Spring Cleaning

Wow....Seriously... Wow...

That last post was like giving birth...I gave birth to sweet little soulful words that immediately multiplied and came right back into my nest. You are enriching our journey in ways you couldn't imagine. Each comment and message you leave is read, cherished, and stored for future strength.

Words rock my World...

And the fact that my little dude has yet to reciprocally experience their beauty is mildly ironic to me. Ironic in a "I can't wait" kind of way. Communication...self-expression, reading and writing are all little poshly decorated rooms in my soul... And I can't wait for Greyson to take a tour.

Twice weekly one-hour speech therapy sessions feels a little like shoe shopping to me. Love hearing my boy say words. If you have questions about your child's speech, behavior or development, email the FAMOUS--Teacher Amy at The T.A.L.K. Team. They are passionate about what they do there, and happy to help you: Thetalkteam@hotmail.com

I rarely ever take a step back from a project.. from editing a picture...or from painting words on the canvas of a post...and say, "Yes....I am done...that is finished. I like that." But I felt that way Sunday as I was putting final flourishes on my Pot of Gold.

Are you like that? You strive for perfection, and anything less than that, therefore, gets defined as failure. Let's make a pact. Let's have 2012 be a year of growth, and a year of real. Perfect is so twenty-eleven. Less than perfect but still ROCKING it-- is the latest trend in self-love, I say.... It's pretty clear we aren't capable of perfect here on Earth....yet we still strive for it because we think that's what makes us good... and then we fail to achieve perfect...so we just end up feeling bad.... Hmm... Yes, it's time to Spring Clean that right outta here.

What else to you want to Spring Clean out of your life? Let me know. Sometimes telling a friend forces you to be accountable.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't reach for the stars and try to like mad to do our very best on every given day- and expect the best from others...but we need to judge ourselves less....forgive ourselves more.

Sometimes we need to get out of our own way-- and use hope, not feelings of inadequacy for fuel.

Less Black and White. More Grey.

On Sunday, we took a family trip to Trader Joe's to stock up for the week. I wish I would have take Efficient Grocery Shopping 101 in College-- going to 3-4 different stores each week gets a little much...For my current life, that would have been much more practical than Micro-economics. As we were checking out Greyson was-- for lack of a better term, whining in an almost grunty way- because he wanted a Lara Bar that was out of his reach in the cart... I got on his eye level and I told him, "You need to tell me what you want, Greyson...use words." He told me, "I want bar." The check-out lady asked if he wanted a sticker and I said "Sure." She put the sticker directly on him and he didn't like that, so he started to whine again....The lady turned to me and she asked, "Is he Autistic?"

My heart stopped....My head said, "Say yes, you must not be ashamed to say yes...You now know he is...if you delay a micro-second longer it is as if you are embarrassed of your son --and you are not. You are proud. Say yes. Claim your son."

He makes my heart flow over with pride...like your babies make you feel.

With false confidence I said, "Yes." She said, "I teach a couple of Autistic kids." Then there was silence. No other sound but the beeping as each item's UPC code slid across the scanner. I wait an hour-long second and I ask, "What grade do you teach?" thinking surely this conversation has a middle, possibly even an end and braided somewhere throughout- a point. "7th & 8th"...beep...beep....beep.... I turn my eyes toward Michael in confusion and then sadness ...thinking- "Help. Not ready to have this odd conversation so soon. Not ready."

Urging Michael-- with my eyes -to make sense of the exchange for me.... We go to the car in silence...I am...confused?.... Is that "Awareness" I ask myself? If that was awareness...It felt... bad. I thought I wanted awareness...

It was like when change your hair and someone says, "Did you get your hair cut?" and you say, "Yes" and then they don't say a thing...

Except it wasn't my hair...it was my Bitty Soul, Greyson.

It was then I realized, I want more than Awareness...I want Awareness and nice. It's funny, before I was the Mother of an Autistic child...(see I am practicing at saying that)... I wouldn't have known the "right" things to say to a Mother of a "Different" kid. I would be worried I would say the wrong things, just like some of you have expressed to me...but here's what I've learned....The people who are sweet and kind and worried that they will say the "wrong thing" are never the people who actually do say the wrong things. I don't have pet peeves that I know of...The term "special needs" annoys me....but if you use it when taking your sweet and precious time to talk to me about my son- it doesn't annoy me when you say it- only when I think it. Make sense? I hope so. Every parent of a "different" kid is also different! I can't speak for all of us, but that's how I feel. Maybe you feel the same..maybe not, and that's OK too.

UPDATE...

My heart swelled with pride when a dear friend sent me this picture from the hospital...She is telling her new baby girl about Greyson and she is already teaching her baby about awareness and nice.

I have heard from some Mom's that they don't like to say they are "fixing" their Spectrum Kid... I totally get that, and appreciate why that analogy might make you feel bad. You love your Bitty- just the way they are.

(And by the way-- there isn't really an actual "Spectrum"! How weird is that?! You don't get coordinates...The Doctor didn't tell me- "Greyson is Autistic and he is Green F-11 on the Spectrum". It's mostly just a concept of varying behaviors to varying different degress. Crazy, I know.)

Anyway, I do think of it as "fixing" Grey, because that is what works for me...that motivates me. If he had a wonky tooth, I would get it fixed...and he has Wonky Neurons, so I am fixing that too- in ways that I can.  And just to keep it real, my son doesn't always look engaged and Angelic...

Although it's gotten so much better due to ABA and Speech, sometimes he looks like this...

And sometimes he does this...

Because he is frustrated or overwhelmed.... I must fix that. Even looking at these pictures hurts me.

My beloved Parker turned 11 months...

Oh Parker, you should just see the way you look at your big brother. You and your dad have this special language and you guys seem to have actual conversations. You are so energetic, happy and give smiles freely. You wave and clap after we do- and that motor immitation makes this Momma's heart feel at ease. Your top two teeth made their appearance this month. You teach me so much ... so much about flexibility and about unconditional love in your World free of stereotypes. I love you.

Happy Spring. Thank you for sharing this blog with your Friends. You can find me on Facebook or send me an email at kellyc43@gmail.com.

Pot of Gold

Ours is a story of HOPE and of STRENGTH. It is evidence of GOD...It is a testament to the BEAUTY of strangers and to the KINDNESS of friends. This story celebrates the GOODNESS of teachers and professionals who have a fire in their soul. Our story is about the importance in believing that anything is possible. This story is about a beautiful little boy that got your attention...that made you feel.



It is a story about the LOVE we all feel for our babies--Autistic or not. This tale focuses on the amazing brillance of a World -chock full of different.

This isn't a story of struggle...it will contain struggle...it will contain tears....it will feel like too much at times...I will want to give up on occassion...
We will have bad days....We will have normal days....We will have exceptional days...
It is not a story about how expensive it is to a have a Spectrum Kid, or how time consuming it is...I won't discuss fights with Insurance Companies, and how no one else Advocates for my son...I've already seen many many people advocate on his behalf... and we are grateful...
Everyone else can talk about that stuff...that stuff may be true, but it bores me. It's not the focus of our story.
We all are responsible for writing our own stories... make yours a good one.

I'm gonna talk about the good stuff...I'm gonna talk about the stuff that people may not know- like the harder it is, the more rewarding it feels in your soul. You will read our story and you will practically wish you had a Spectrum Kid.

This past Tuesday we we received an official diagnosis of "Autism" for our almost 3 year old son, Greyson. Tuesday evening, I opened up my front door and I threw out a stone and it reached thousands and thousands of people. It didn't take a village, friend.....All it took was YOU...sharing a message of Awareness with the World. Because of you almost 5,000 people have read this one post.

I wrote from my hurting heart. I let you know, I have a son...with Autism...and I have a dream that he can grow up in a World that is aware. And I heard from so many of you...Your words help take the hurt away. You shared our grief. Tuesday night all I wanted to do was go to bed and make the day go away...Wednesday night I didn't want to go to bed because I wanted to keep reading your words.

My soul realized that Greyson was Autistic this past summer....and that's when we started treating him as if... But somehow my head kept thinking I could change it before it ever became official. I never ever wanted to be a Momma Spokesperson for Autism...I certainly never hoped or wished that I would have a child who could be a Poster Child for Autism... But it's not up to me- it was up to God, so I will be gracious with His gift. He gave me this platform and so with shaking legs, I will climb the stairs, straighten the microphone, and begin... I am up for this challenge.




Thank you, God for making Greyson so beautiful that people take note of our story. But please remember World, beauty comes in so many different packages.

Wednesday, The day after the news... I got up in the morning and I Mom'ed because I couldn't call in sick...and I needed your inspiration...your motivation...your words...and you provided.





I breathed in and I breathed out. All day long. I changed diapers and I fed babies. I stayed in my jammies as long as I could (10:52am in case you are wondering). I cried a few times... I ate a hand full of tortilla chips and a peppermint patty for dinner. I forwarded your words to my husband, Michael because he was out of town for work and hurting from the news and from being away from our Family Nest. 

And friends, we turned into a Butterfly....Greyson, Parker, Michael and Me. It hurt a little...but it was so Beautiful.

I've got my warrior gear back on. I've got a Disorder's Ass to kick... We have been doing everything possible to help Greyson since this past Summer...25 hours of ABA (therapy) a week, 2 hours of speech therapy, preschool at our house and preschool with Typical kids, and so so much more...And he is doing so good. He went from barely talking at all --to now using some 3 word sentences. He works so hard... And usually has fun while he is at it....because my son is not going to be robbed from having a childhood.


Putting magic into his life is my welcomed responsibility and I'm lucky, because when you are 2 magic looks like the Park and bubbles and simple things.
Magic...like getting a juicy ripe pear all to your self...

We are all responsible for creating magic in our little one's lives.

And guess what, Autism, WE ARE NOT LETTING UP. Some day my son, Greyson, might be the President of the United States...or maybe he will drive a Dump Truck. You see, that's just the thing- There are no guarantees in this life for any one of us. We are grateful for today. For the time we have with the people we love and the people that we live for.

Hard times help us learn. They make us beautiful. They make us better...better people...better friends...better parents. No one has it perfect or easy...and if it looks like they do...They are hiding something.



Remember when we talked about how important it is to have Dreams? I said I was going to write a book. Well, guess what...I am now. It's called Little Light Bulbs Daily and it's how we kicked Autism in the butt and lived an exceptional life while we were at it.  If anyone knows anyone in Publishing, I would be so grateful if you could send them a link to this post....have 'em call my people.

Oh man...I can't tell you how many times I laughed this week...


Our little light still shines... I can tell you without a doubt that this is EXACTLY the journey I am supposed to be on. That feeling of acceptance is bigger than pain.

I will continue to write. I will continue to share my words. I will give you details of our journey. I want to inspire the World to accept different in others...and to accept our own differences that make us feel less than perfect. If you want to come along for the ride, sign up and become a Member of this blog. We would love to have you. 

Thank you so much every one of you for all of your love and support. We are so happy to share our journey with you...please continue to help me share it with the World.

So Much Love,

Chrissy, Michael, Greyson and Parker Kelly